sweet kisses from my son

today, chase and i had such a tender mother/son moment. he was eating lunch, and had proceeded to get food all over his face. shocking. anyways, i went over to clean him up and after i wiped his face, i took his face in my hands and looked him right in the eyes and said, "chasers...i love you so much." to which he smiled and showed me those, oh so cute, dimples and said, "give me a kiss." of course i gave him sweet kisses all over his even sweeter face...which was a catalyst for giggles from both of us. then, he reached up and took my face in his hands...which i was sure to cap off the tender moment...and said, sweet as sugar, "let me touch your eyeball." not quite the comment i was expecting, but chaser non the less. and boy, do i love that kid.

DREAMER

You know it's bad when your almost 2 year old says to you, in a somewhat sing-songy voice, "Youuuu Whoooo," to get your attention. That, she's learned from her 4 year old brother. 4 year olds talk ALOT. Sometimes, as much as you don't want to, you begin to tune them out...especially late in the day...when the attention span is just not quite up to par. Several days ago, I started getting snapped back into reality by Chase with a far off "Youuu Whooo" that would get louder until I had returned from wherever I had been. Today, after Aiden began the "Youuu Whooo" form of getting my attention, I began to ask myself; one: why were they having to youu whoo me back and, two: where was I going to need youu whooing back from? It made me realize the place in my head that not too many know of. The dreamer place. In the dreamer place, really fun and amazing things happen. I began to make a list of the things that happen to me in the dreamer place. I needed to write them all down...because although a lot of them I know I will never do...some of them I could...and should...and will.

1. adopt a child
2. sing in a really cool band that plays really good music and has lots of fun
3. play serious guitar
4. win an olympic medal
5. act in a movie
6. snowboard
7. waterski and wakeboard in lake travis (again)
8. drink an apple martini
9. go on a missions trip to africa headed by bono
10. visit my brother in alaska
11. not worry
12. love God more than myself
13. take really great pictures
14. get a nose ring
15. fly a kite at the beach with the kids
16. take aiden to try on wedding dresses
17. hold chad's hand in the waiting room, awaiting the arrival of a grandchild
18. witness the miracle of hunger and poverty come to an end
19. see the Holy Lands
20. go to ireland
21. know my roots
22. go to hawaii with my husband and some really good friends
23. see chase and aiden give their hearts to Jesus
24. be a catalyst for the lost
25. be a voice-over for a big disney film
26. wear a tiara for a legitimant reason
27. be able to build cool things out of wood
28. watch out the window for each kid to come home from their first date, and then sit in the dark, over fresh baked chocolate chip cookies and talk about it for hours
29. own a horse named marble and be able to ride him, fast, whenever i wanted
30. see all of my lost friends found

WHY AM I SO CONFUSED?

it's becoming (shout out KL) my life statement these days. furthermore, why is it that when a mom gets sick, she just has to keep going? there is no option of laying in bed, sleeping, someone making soup, t.v. watching until she's better. i'd like to talk to the person who started that trend. it's beginning to get a bit old. i can't even take the medicine the doctor gave me yesterday becasue it causes drowsiness. i mean, it says on the bottle not to opperate heavy machinery, and i'm pretty sure children classify as such. it's just the same excact way it is when i'm well...only my apperance has a tendency to scare the kids. i find that mine just kind of look at me like....WHOA. cue the whispers..."she doesn't look so good; what's wrong with her; why is she in her bath robe and why does her hair look like that?" followed by, "MOMMY...WE NEED BREAKFAST...WE NEED OUR DRINKS...I NEED MY CLOTHES...I'M TIRED...I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL...I DON'T WANT WAFFLES...WE WANT TO WATCH A VIDEO...NOT THAT VIDEO...I NEED MY LUNCH MONEY." speaking of lunch money, i tried to send colton to school today with ukrainian money. now, i don't think this would have got him very far in the lunch line. i can hear it now..."honey, tell your mom that we don't accept foreign money here." i noticed it when i was putting it in his backpack. thank God. i'm not sure my reputation could have recovered from that one. i had already tried to buy my coffee at starbucks the other day with chuck e cheese game tokens. someone needs to talk to the people from chuck e cheese and tell them not to make their tokens look so much like quarters. it's enough to confuse a girl...which deserves a loud and proud "WHY AM I SO CONFUSED?"

so many words...so little time

updated list with a little help from my friends:

conflicted
imbecile
vagabond
asinine
exacerbate
conglomeration
tarnation
tumbleweed
passionate
serendipity
promenade
tom foolery (technically 2 words...but for this one, i'll make an exception)
imposter
bafoon
catywampus
plethora
superfluous
menagerie
fidgety
mojo
surplus
bubbies
smooch
slacker
superb
crack (as in..."are you on crack?" had to be explained!!)
miracle
meticulosity - extreme attention to detail
pococurante - nonchalant
eudaemonic - producing happiness

and the list goes on. add to at random.

So, here's one...

I sort of told myself that I would never put poetry on this blog. I don't really know why...except because. Sometimes I find that nothing follows my because. I try to come up with a good sentence to follow, but I draw blanks. Because. That's all there is. Anyhow, this weekend, I have been in a very contemplative mood...mainly due to some good music and good conversation...which typically has that effect on me. I have not been able to get this poem/whatever you want to call it...(I'm sure all the timing is not accurate, nor the punctuation)...that I wrote so, so, so long ago, out of my head. I dug through my old journal tonight to find some of my favorites, from what seems like lifetimes ago, in some attempt to connect with myself...who I've been...who I am...who I am no longer...etc. etc. etc. Why was I so confused? Why am I still confused? The funny thing is, Chad asked me what I was doing and I told him. He said to read him one. I reluctantly read him this one...to which he replied, "What's the title?" I said it did not have one. He titled it "Simple Things". Here it is:

Simple Things

She lie alone; just like every other night;

waiting and longing for the time when he has his arms around her. She's not made to be alone and patiently awaits the future.

It's the knowledge that the childhood dreams are not being fulfilled according to plan and the newfound maturity that constantly tells her that they may not be that engulfs her thoughts. That is the hardest to bear. Tears well without warning and the sad music plays over and over, telling a story not unlike her own. The simplest thing is all she wants. It's not too much to desire, but is somehow unatainable. Someone to love her and someone for her to love right back. Someone who fills her heart so much that the simpe sight of him forces a smile and a feeling so warm that only she can feel. The brush of his hand against hers would sustain life. The mental picture is enough to warm her head, but not her heart...which for the time being, beats alone.

(1996)

After I finished, Chad said, "I wish I could express my feelings like that...Roses are red; violets are blue..." It was quite funny. It is kind of beautiful and romantic that the person who ended up having his arms around me completed this for me. I guess...in more ways than one.

Happy National Sibling's Day...

we were 6 1/2 and 3 1/2 and the flowergirl and ringbearer in my aunt's wedding

getting older...

...and still as close.

...a couple of days late. So, technically, National Sibling's Day was 2 days ago but I am just getting around to posting this little tribute to my little brother, Kevin. At about 11:45pm my time, I finally got to talk to him. He had returned my phone call and I excitedly said, "Happy Sibling's Day!" To which he replied, "What?????" He, along with most of the other people in the nation, did not realize that this day was so special. He then tried to play it cool and pull the wool by saying, "Yes...that is exactly why I called...to wish you a Happy National Sibling's Day." Well, anyways, we got to talk about lots of funny memories and antecdotes from our childhood that had us both rolling. Like our favorite burt and ernie clip from sesame street, and the three amigos...we really loved that movie and quoted it for a very long time. AND...he said that he can't stop thinking about all kinds of cool words; (refer to a couple of posts ago); and that it was a good "blopic.". He would think, "Wow...I just wasted 30 minutes of my life thinking of how nicely that word just rolls of my tongue." Then we came up with some really cool words...like, dad gummit, menagerie, and superb. It was a fun conversation and I'm glad that I got to talk to him. I'm glad that there is a National Sibling's Day. I'm more glad that I have a brother. I'm even more glad that he is him.

Innocent Racial Slur

The other night at dinner, Colton made his first and hopefully last racial slur. We had been reading and discussing the Easter story being that Easter was upon us and Colton had some questions reguarding Jesus' ethnicity. Colton asked if Jesus was white or brown. Chad answered that Jesus was not white, not black, but probably more brown...and then compared him to some kids that Colton knows so that he could have a visual. You could tell that Colton's wheels were spinning. He thought for a minute and said, "Too bad I'm not brown." I was thinking, "Ahhh, he wants to be like Jesus. How sweet." then he added, "Because brown football players are better than white ones." Silence........Chad looked at me and I looked at Chad........cue the equality speech; cue the equality speech!

WARNING...LOOK AWAY IF YOU EASILY GET SQEEMISH

Colton's friend Anna Marie...controlling the blood loss

Last night, Anna Marie and her family were over for dinner. The kids were sword fightning in the living room, and Anna Marie's loose tooth decided to become a bother. Her mom gets the willies, so she told me to see if Anna Marie would let me wiggle it. I did more than that! With a couple of twists and tugs, and a whole lot of "The tooth fairy is soooo coming to see you tonight!" I got it! Colton was flaburgasted that I had actually just pulled her tooth. He has two that are loose and freaks at the thought of pulling them. I think being one uped by a girl has him a little more brave!! He's wiggling them ALOT!!

WORDS

I have a running list of words that I really like. Here are some:

sachel
waterlily
sketchy
unfortunate
trite
tinker
pajama
copesetic
yonder
galeleo
agape
incubation
petrol
sacral
satellite
xopenex
clever
perplex

Try using some of these on a regular basis. It's fun. Also, if you have any favorite words...please share! I love using good words.