CRASH

o.k. so i've learned my lesson. maybe. for those of you who know me, you know that my children are some of the most photographed children in america. i take massive amounts of pictures. i had a nikon 75 (i think) and was totally happy with it. love having film that is tangible. love having pictures developed. love that i can't even make it out of the store without looking at them all. love the search for the perfect captured moment. love seeing the photo after i've gotten it. love the brown leather photo albums that are lined up on my book shelf that chronicle the kid's birth through 7 months ago. so, if i love all of that so much...why did i get a digital camera?

well, the answer is 2 fold. i could save money on film and developing, and it's a lot easier in this technical world of ours.

so...for my birthday and anniversary...(that's the way i can talk chad in to bigger purchases :))...he got me my nikon d50. we went in to get a point and shoot sony digital, and came out with the big guns. my lens was enter-changable...so it just made more sense. and...i like a manual zoom. but...i digress once again.

my big issue with going this route was the non-tangibleness of having your photos on the computer and cds instead of in albums. it took some getting used to. and, on more occation than one, i asked the question, "but what if the computer crashes?" the answer was always the same. some version of..."has your computer ever crashed before?" to which i replied..."no." so, there you have it. i made the switch. and it has been great. i don't even know how many pictures i have on the computer. lots and lots is the technical answer that comes to mind. my summer project was to get them all onto cds and organized in photo boxes. no problem.

problem. the other day, i found aiden in chad's chair with her hand on the mouse and something that looked odd on the screen. i still don't know what she did, but what i do know, is that our computer crashed. and yes, this happened before i had all my pictures from the last 7 months backed up on cds. chad talked to all kinds of computer people who all said the same thing. they were gone. i was in denial for a while, but when the reality set in...i'm not gonna lie...i was extemely upset. not angry...just really sad. i kept thinking of all the different memories i had lost, etc. etc. etc. and with each new photo i thought of, i got more and more sad. a friend helped me put it in perspective and i was slowly coming to terms with it. i even prayed that we would find them. there is this computer guy that works with chad who agreed to look at the computer for us. i tried not to get my hopes up. but this guy...this genious of a man (in my opinion)...found my pictures. every last one of them. can you believe it? i still am marveled by the fact that my God...the same God who is having to watch children die of starvation and thirst every day...cares enough about me to concern himself with 7 months worth of my pictures. well, i guess he does. and i'm glad. because if he cares about us that much...with all the other things he has going on...he must really love us. and...not only does he love us, but he really enjoys surprising us with happiness. i love that. even more than pictures.