happiness is...

...my new skin care product!!

i am the girl who will wash her face with whatever is by the sink when the hankering arises to wash the face. i have been known to use baby soap, hand soap, and even shampoo when i find myself in the shower with nothing else to use! yet, lately i have noticed, less than exciting images in the mirror when looking closely. okay...even when not looking so closely. dryness...flakyness...lines...bumps...and even crows feet...are taking up residence on my 30 something face. yikes! thanks to a dear friend, who has beautiful 50 something skin, i have been turned on to a new face product. i love it for several reasons. a.) it is pre-soaped. the individual pads have enough soap on them to create a generous lather...which is the problem that i have found with other pre-soaped products. b.) one side is smooth for removing make-up while the other side has little bumps to remove dead skin...sort of a microderm abrasion thing. and c.) they have alpha-hydroxy in them, which is known to make the skin healthier. and d.) they are fairly inexpensive when compared to other face products out there. i find myself excited to wash my face at night. next purchase...the aveeno moisturizing lotion.

redemption is...

sometimes i am haunted by something that i wish i could go back in time and change...or at least make right. there are things that seemed unjust, unfair, or just downright wrong. i know that i have to live by the "audience of one" rule book, but sometimes i just want redemption. the kind that doesn't come from Jesus and the cross...but the kind that rights the wrong. even though the redemption the cross brings is enough, and the reward that the truth will always prevail once in Heaven is a promise...stories like these still make me whisper a satisfied................"YES!!!!!!" take a minute to enjoy this story.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=295TRv7EXaM

entertainment is...colton at baseball practice & change

indeed, i am a creature of change. i am not happy unless i can re-arrange the furniture in the living room every couple of months. it has now been the same since christmas and it is driving me crazy. there are only so many ways to arrange it and i have exhausted them all. i guess that means we need to get new furniture!! (just kidding honey. just seeing if you were paying attention)

well...the real point here is that i am already tired of my new blog page. all those pink flowers staring me in the face every time i log on. enough already!! so...that is going to have to change pretty soon. but not now, as i am already running a bit late to pick up the little girl sweetness from preschool. but you can imagine my "giddy-ness" when i noticed (yes. it took me 2 years) that i could change font size, color, boldness, and use italics. i am actually feeling joyful over it!! expect a lot of this in the future...probably to the point of irritation.

so...to provide the humor in this post...because it is very unlike me to not have anything that will at least, hopefully, produce a grin...if not a soft chuckle (and i really just wanted to use the word "chuckle"): my main man took my little man to baseball practice the other night and texted me about something he had just watched him do in disbelief. here is what the text said...

"colton just made a play and then proceeded to look up and point to the sky. as if thanking God. seriously."

entertainment at it's finest.

entertainment is...conversations with chase

so today was one of those days when you ask yourself repeatedly, "why am i doing this?"

all 3 kids are having valentine's parties at school. yesterday, i shopped for all of the valentines, and the party supplies that i was assigned for each class, as well as their valentine's gifts. chase also has to make a valentine mailbox out of a box for all of his valentines to be stored in. so, today i went out and got some cute valentine wrapping paper, ribbon, some little metal words to glue on it, and a candy frog that says "kiss me." i thought he would LOVE that...his obsession with frogs and all. so, after i picked them up from school, we drove to my parent's house to pick up aiden. the traffic was bad enough that i didn't want to head straight back home and we decided to hang out there a while. i got all the stuff out to make chase's box and asked him if he wanted to help. he said, "sure" but then got a bit distracted with the other kids playing in the yard. now, i kid you not when i say that i spent a solid hour or more working on this box. taping it up...cutting a hole in the top...wrapping it...decorating it with ribbon...gluing...taping...making bows...figuring out how to get the frog to look like it was sitting on it...hot glue...you can see that i was doing my best work for my best chase. my mom sat with me and helped and talked until i finished it. i finished it off by writing "chase...you've got mail!" then i called him in to see this mailbox creation that i had made in an attempt to make him feel special and loved. he walked in...looked at the box...and said, "i don't love it."

a little later, while ignoring a melt down in the car on the way to grab dinner with my parents, he proceeded to say some "ugly" things. i told him that he needed to stop being ugly, and to only let the kind words come out of his mouth. i told him that he was hurting my feelings with his words. i explained to him that what we say can really hurt people and that i had worked really hard on his box and that he owed me an apology and a thank you. i told him that i would take the box to his class and give it to a kid who didn't get to make a box. he then gave the most sincere...sweet...heartfelt apology. here is how it went...

"mommy...i am sooooo sorry. i am so soooorrrry mommy...mommy i am sor HEY, MOMMY...LOOK...AN ASTRONAUT...LOOK AT THAT SIGN MOMMY!"

then my mom began a little bible lesson about the crowns we get in heaven...saying that while we are on earth, we have to say good and nice things...not mean things. and that we had to treat people with kindness and tell people about Jesus in order to get our crowns when we get to heaven. chase's response was..."i don't really want to go there."

then, colton and mom and i started talking about salvation and i asked chase why Jesus died on the cross. colton, wanting to help a brother out whispered, "for our sins." chase then proudly said, "for our cents." then i said, do you know what sin is?" colton, again to not be out done whispers, "bad stuff." chase said loudly, "bad stuff." i said, "yeah...like talking ugly to your mommy." at that, he said, "mommy...i'm just so tired...i think i need to go to sleep now."

Broken Dreams

There are times in life that I feel like a spoiled brat. I wonder, does God look at me and listen to me and wonder, "Do you have any idea of the REAL things that I am dealing with child?" All I have to do is remember the vivid memories of Ukraine, read a little on the need for clean water all over the world, sit in a casual meeting while discussing sex trafficking in Houston, or just watch the world news to gain a little perspective on my life and the gratitude that I SHOULD have. I say "should" because that's when the whole "I am such a spoiled little brat" thought creeps in. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about dissatisfaction and have come to some conclusions. It is not a bad thing to feel a since of dissatisfaction. If we never felt those feelings, then we would not be pushed to change. Sometimes, as a Christian in America, I am confused as to how to handle my dissatisfaction...which I am referring to from now on as...broken dreams. We are not talking about the "I wish I had a better car" broken dreams, but the things that my heart longs for that I can't FORCE to come to fruition. The things I want to control but must let go of. The things like adoption, and where to best raise our 3 very unique and wonderfully made children are plaguing my thoughts and contentment. One minute I think, "This is nothing like starvation...so pull yourself up by your bootstraps and quit complaining"...while on the other hand, I cry out to God for answers. I came across one of my very favorite poems from my childhood at my parent's house last night and it brought a peace to me that has been lacking. I'm convinced that it was the whispering voice of my Father telling me that it's OK...to tell Him all about it...stroking my hair and looking at me tenderly...kissing my forehead while saying, "I'm here and I've got you." Here it is...

BROKEN DREAMS

As children bring their broken toys

with tears for us to mend,

I brought my broken dreams to God

because He was my friend.

But then instead of leaving Him

in peace to work alone,

I hung around and tried to help

with ways that were my own.

At last I snatched them back and cried,

"How could you be so slow--"

"My child," He said, "What could I do?

You never did let go."

who did it and he said what?

yesterday, chase stayed home from school due to the common cold. at lunch, i fed he and aiden a peanut butter fold over, with apples. we have decided to position our new bunny, clarabelle right in the kitchen so that she will truly feel a part of the family. i tell you that, because it actually has something to do with my story and is not just some side tangent that i have decided to ramble upon...as i have been known to do in the past. so...as they are eating, i am chatting with a friend on the phone and loading the dishwasher. i look over at the bunny's cage and see that clarabelle has climbed to the middle rungs and appears to be chewing her way through the metal. i walk over and tell her to ease up on the cage chewing and tap her nose to get down. the kids are just watching at this point. that's when i noticed the peanut butter smeared all over the cage where she was chewing. i said, "who gave their peanut better sandwich to clarabelle?" to which chase and aiden, pointed at each other and said in unison, "he/she did it." they both thought that clarabelle needed lunch.

later in the day, after i had picked colton up from school, he and aiden wanted to go see the 3 cats in the garage. (that's another story...but they are the 3 cats that have stayed with us before and the kids have known them since they were kittens) so, i said that i would go out there with them, but that they were hiding and probably would not come out. one of the cats was growling and hissing at the other one and i told the kids to go back inside because i was afraid they were going to start fighting and i didn't want them to be out there if they did. i told colton to take aiden inside and that i would be in in a minute. a few minutes went by and chase came to the garage door and knocked. i told him to come in and he opened the door and said, "mommy...colton said you were dead." i walked chase back in the house and he went to the base of the stairs and yelled, "COLTON...MOM IS NOT DEAD IN THE GARAGE!"

i'm not sure if i am more disturbed that...
a.) colton actually thought i had been killed in a cat fight, or b.) that he told the little ones that i was dead in the garage, or c.) that he and aiden went right along with their playroom activities while chase nonchalantly came out to make sure. actually it's...
d.) all of the above.