i'm coming (un)clean

well, i decided this morning that i am what you call a closet un-organized person. on the surface, everything looks neat and tidy, clean and organized. the rooms that anyone ever sees are usually spotless, freshly cleaned and smelling like "moonlit path"...the room deoderizer spray that santa put in my stocking last year or vanilla...the candle that burns when i know someone will be coming over OR when i am just in a particularly "vanilla" mood. however, two days ago, i had this impulsive desire to organize every room in the house. if any of you start to feel this impulse, take it from me...IGNORE IT! this style of organizational living is how i am most comfortable for sure, and after surveying the damage, otherwise known as the closets, i could not believe i had let things get so out of control. the guest-room closet was literally the picture of opening the door and having everything fall down on top of you. it was the go-to closet when we did not know where to put something. i actually found my old highschool and TCU dance team uniforms and pom poms deep in the back of the space. when i walked into that closet, i felt a little like lucy from the chronicles of narnia when she got lost in the wardrobe. anyhow, i digress...i am 2 days into this project and about $60 down from purchasing so many rubbermaid containers, but the guest-room closet looks great. i have completed the coat closet and the master bath as well. and there is absolutely NOTHING under our bed for the first time in our entire marriage. i have started aiden's closet and all her clothes that she has outgrown are going into sage green rubbermaids and i have to go to target to get blue ones for the boys clothes. (the mis-matched, ugly, gray ones that they are currently in just won't do now...their closet has to measure up to the guest-room's). i can use the gray ones in the garage, which is chad's project. he's thrilled. i'm in too deep to turn back now. so, the point is, i'm coming clean. out of the closet. literally. my house may have looked clean...but deep inside the closet, where no one ever sees, was a mess. i feel like my house was starting to mirror my spiritual life. or my spiritual life was starting to mirror my house. i'm not sure which came first. lately, i have felt un-organized personally and spiritually, yet on the surface things looked neat and tidy. how have both my house and my spiritual life gotten this way? well, i think it is a mixture of being either pregnant or nursing for the past 6 1/2 years (give a girl a break) mixed in with some procrastination and laziness. but, i'm fed up with an un-organized life...both physically and mentally. so, in an attempt to achieve real authenticity...i'm coming (un)clean.