tame the crazy

i really shouldn't do this. let you all in on the actual crazy that is in my mind. i think you're supposed to tame the crazy in front of others...right? i don't know why, but when i took annslee to the doctor for her 4 month well check up this past week, i told myself that i was going to blog it. not so much for whoever may end up reading this, but for me...because hopefully when i look back on this post, i will realize how far i've come in this area of the crazy. counting how many times i've been to the pediatrician as a mother is not possible, but i can add up the well check ups at least. they go at 2 weeks, 2 months, 4 months, 6 months, 9 months, 12 months, 18 months, 24 months, 3 yrs, 4 yrs, 5 yrs. i'll stop there because that is when they stop getting all the immunizations. so, if my calculations are correct...for my 4 children thus far, i have taken them 36 times for just the well check up. this does not include all the sick or "mychildisscreamingallthetimeandnotsleepingandspittingupcontiuouslyandhasarashthatwon'tgoaway" visits. (annslee has been about 6 times for various reflux/rash reasons). so anyways...this is what i go through EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

cover the infant carrier with a blanket before going in the building. have a wipe ready. have my debit card, hand gel and my own pen in my pocket. use a wipe to open the door and push the elevator button, then use the same wipe to open the door to the office. use my own pen to sign in. tell the receptionist that we are waiting in the hall. use the same wipe to open the door to get to the hall. i gel my hands even though i haven't touched a thing. i hold the carrier the whole time because i'm scared of all the germs that have "settled" on the floor. (if i didn't sound crazy before...i'm sure that last sentence pushed me over the crazy edge.) this is when the infant carrier starts to get really heavy, by the way, but i push through and hope we don't have to wait there long. they come to call us back and i always let the nurse go ahead of me so that i don't have to touch the door handles. when we get into the room, i put the infant carrier on the paper on the table and ask them if the room had been cleaned after the last patient. they always say yes, but spray the chairs for me anyways. (i don't know why this makes me feel better because i don't even sit in them.) while they are asking me questions, i get another antibacterial wipe and wipe the edges of the table where the paper doesn't touch. i get a thick blanket out of the diaper bag (that is also on the paper) and spread it on the table. by this point, they are having me get the baby down to their diaper. when we go to weigh them, i ask them to put the paper protector sideways and to use 2 of them so that the baby doesn't touch the scale at all. when we get back to the room, i put them on the blanket while they measure their heads and length. i always watch to make sure that their hands don't touch the wall. if they do, i wipe them. when the nurse leaves, i pick up the baby and we normally sing lullabies and bounce around the room. the doctor comes in and i somewhat stress about all the other kids that the stethoscope has touched, but i surprisingly don't freak out or break out the wipes. after we are done, i wipe their hands and feet with a wipe, get them dressed and get them all snuggled back in their car seat and cover it up with the blanket. i fold the blanket with the table side folded in and then i use my own pen while checking out, say no thanks to the stickers, and use a wipe on the door handle and elevator buttons. when we get to the car, i take the blanket off the car seat, click it in and gel my hands. one time i took a can of lysol and sprayed the bottom of my shoes before i got in the car...but most of the time i take my shoes off outside before walking in the house. once we get home, i change clothes, put the dirty blankets, burp rags and clothes in the washer and give the baby a bath. then breathe a sigh of relief that i don't have to do it again for another 2 months.

*if it is one of the older kids, they walk...but everything else stays about the same except for a lot of "don't touch anythings." i will admit, at this point, that i'm quite aware that this is not normal behavior...however it is mine.