P90crazy is what it is...

i want to work out. i really do.

i have never felt so weak and out of shape in all my life.

i know what you're going to say. "you're so skinny, mindy...you don't need to lose weight...if anything, you could stand to gain a few pounds." i have heard this time and time again. but the point is that i feel like i couldn't run down the street if someone was chasing me with a knife. my legs start burning when i carry annslee up stairs to her bed. (yes. you heard me right. puddie girl is sleeping in her bed. no applause necessary. well....if you want to clap for her, or ME...you can.) so, i just think that it's time to do something to take back my body. i have not worked out since before i was pregnant with colton. this was going on 10 years ago. i have been through 4 pregnancies, and a total of 17 weeks of bedrest (combining aiden and annslee.) so needless to say, i'm not the picture of physically fit. i think my stomach muscles left during the last pregnancy and decided to stay gone out of fear of me doing it to them a 5th time.

the other night, over a plate of fried pickles and fries, i told my family that it was time for me to start working out. my parents started with the "you-are-too-skinny-you-need-to-eat-better-and-gain-some-weight"...but when i explained myself, my dad said 6 works that have stuck with me ever since.

"you used to be so strong."

ok. i did used to be strong. i remember playing soccer, swimming competitively, and doing hours of gymnastics every week. and i remember hearing my dad tell my mom...almost in disbelief, "she's solid as a rock."

i want that again. i want to be tough. solid. strong physically. i want to think...yeah...i could pretty much pound you to the ground if you mess with me or my kid.

chad ordered P90X the other day for him. he's gonna get strong too. i decided that i would do it with him. i watched the first dvd the other night and there were all kinds of push ups and pull ups involved. the guy (who is totally hyper and annoying and hulk like) was saying "keep good form and don't worry if you can't do 30. just do what you can." i'm thinking...yeah...so what if you can only do 1/2 of 1? then what, mr. crazy man???

i answered myself. "then do 1/2."

look out people. once i can do a whole chin-up, you're not gonna want to mess with me.