S-T-O-P spells stop

i woke up this morning and thought i had the world on a string.

 

i lounged in bed and smiled as the sounds of my four children playing and laughing filled my home.  colt had a friend spend the night and they had hit the driveway for an early game of hoops.  i listened as the older ones poured milk for the little ones...and thought about how lucky i was.  there might as well have been those cartoon birds from cinderella chirping right in my very own living room.

 

and then i walked out of my bedroom.

 

the scene was not quite as magical as i had pictured it in my head.

 

(and as if on cue...annslee just brought me cinderella's dress to squeeze onto polly pocket's raggedy haired body.)

 

the fact that i'm writing means nothing to her at this point. 

 

some day...you will read this, my darling and understand why my patience went a little thin when you kept insisting that sleeping beauty's skirt WOULD, in fact, fit onto polly's body.  for the love of sweet mother mary...it's not going to work...but your persistance and stubborness will take you far in life if we can somehow harness it and channel it for good and not evil.

 

me:  "baby...it doesn't' fit on her."

 

you:  "YEAH.....IT DO!!!!"

 

you just chucked them both across the foyer.

 

cinderella birds turned into massive piles of laundry...

 

 

counter tops that are covered with clutter...

 

corners of bedrooms that are filled with clothes and trash...

 

tables covered with dirty dishes and scraps of paper and crafts gone awry...

 

over flowing crap baskets on the stairs...

 

holy playroom disaster zones...

 

movie room mayhem...

 

and back to the playroom...because one picture of that just wouldn't do it justice.

 

the house is so out of control, that i spent a good 10 minutes hunting my good camera.  i was starting to panic...when i found it under a stack on my desk.  i would have taken a picture of that...only my camera was on the bottom of it.

 

last night i told chad,

 

"everyone else is doing stuff."

 

he said, "like what sort of stuff."

 

i said, "stuff like going to the renaissance festival...or the pumpkin patch...or to san antonio...as a family.  we aren't doing anything as a family.  we are always splitting up...you taking this one to practice here...and me taking that one to practice there.  we were all at colt's game yesterday as a family...but some went early...some came late...we rode home separately.  i can't remember the last time we all got in the car and went somewhere as a family."

 

he said, "well...it's hard."

 

it is hard, i agreed.

 

yesterday morning, we were all at home for a split second and it felt like a vacation.  but not long after i took that breath of family fresh air did we all starting jetting in different directions again.

 

this morning...colt went to the early church service and caught a ride with his friend, while chad went to a different campus, while i planned to go with the younger 3 at 11.

 

after the dust had settled from the front door shutting again, i surveyed the damage that our busyness has caused our home.  (and not just the physical damage.)

 

yes...i am taking colt and aj to renfest in a few weeks with our home school co-op...but that's not going as a family.  and yes...i will take one or more to the grocery to pick out a pumpkin...but that's not family.  and yes...chad will coach colt's basketball team and spend practices with him...but that's not family.  and i will take chase with me to the girl's gymnastics...but that's not family.  i will take these two to that birthday party while chad takes those two with him on that missions project.  but...THAT'S NOT FAMILY!!!!"

 

i feel my heart beginning to scream, "STOP!"

 

"everybody. just. stop."

 

if we continue on this busy train...we are likely to never get off.  and i miss my family.

 

so i'm thinking about how to remedy this situation and i'm pretty sure it's going to involve saying "NO."

 

i never thought i was a person who struggled to say no.  in fact, i say no to alot.  like...no...i can't go out after the game.  or no...we can't make that birthday party...but i love your kid anyway.  or no...we can't have your friend over right this second.  but those little no's aren't really making a huge difference.  so i think it will have to be some bigger no's.  like we have to take saturday...and we all have to say no.  we need to have a day...and we make it a priority to stay together.  i like together.

 

together is a wonderful place to be.

 

****

 

regardless of CLARKSON CALENDAR CRAZINESS 2012...this puddin cup sticks close by her mama.  she's my right hand man.

 

she's a mover and a shaker, that one.

 

always on the go.

 

i had the pleasure of folding in two extra kids for the evening this passed week.

 

i'm further convinced that once you have 4...any additionals just fold right on in there.  you barely know they're there.

 

 

here's to putting a weekly, family day into place.  i'm gonna need to schedule a meeting with chad to try to get this thing instituted.  i'll let you know how it goes.