the good night conversation with my middles

 one of my most favorite memories from childhood is when my mom or dad would indulge me in a story when they were tucking me in at night.  and my most favorite stories were the true ones...from when they were little.

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it must be said...that i do love the perspective that my two middle children can offer me.

tonight...after snacks, a movie, gum, water, bathroom, questions, and any other procrastinating situation that could possibly arise...i told them, "to bed."

one of the benefits of summer...and the lack of schedule that follows...is that someone is usually taking up residence on aiden's trundle.  either chase or annslee finagle their way in there most evenings...for a sibling sleepover, of sorts.  tonight...the trundle was chase's.

as i was tucking them in...chase asked,

"mom?  where you ever in any school plays?

i replied,

"yes."

the room was lit only by lamp light, and i sensed one of those stories that i, too, used to love.  the ones that start with a child saying, "tell me about when you were little."

aiden was listening with interest and chase asked,

"which ones?"

i let my eyes look to the ceiling and quickly started going through the files of memories that my brain held entitled..."school plays."

i remembered aloud,

"well...there was this one in elementary school called roddie riddle from mars...and the little boy who i had a crush on played roddie riddle.  his name was scott spurger."

they giggled and chase perked up,

"did you have to kiss him???  who did you play? were you a main character?"

i laughed and said,

"no!  i was not a main character.  and i didn't have to kiss him!  i think i was a dancer or something."

chase then asked,

"where you in any other school plays?"

the file in my head was pretty empty...besides the senior musical in high school.  so i answered...

"i only remember being in one other one.  it was the senior musical...my last year of high school."

at this point...i was totally engulfed in their mesmerized world of school plays and main characters and learning lines.

i continued...

"it was grease.  i actually tried out for the main character, sandy, and got called back for it.  but...i chickened out of the second call back and ended up a dancer."

hmmmm, i thought.  again with the dancer bit.  i realized the pattern.  what was it with me and the "dancer" rolls?

chase was concerned...and asked,

"so you didn't get the lead because you were scared of memorizing the lines???"

i thought for a second.

"i guess.  i remember thinking that there was no way i could remember all those lines.  too bad...huh???  i should never have allowed fear to get in my way."

chase exclaimed,

"mom!!!  you could have been a star!!!"

"HA,"  i laughed.

and then aiden...

always ready to offer the hard truth...comforted me with this,

"well...you made the right decision.  you know.......to be our mom instead."

and with that...

i kissed their foreheads,

smiled,

and said,

"yes.  i did."