Wednesdays with Honey

when i think about my childhood...some of my greatest memories involve honey.  she sewed my dresses...from my very first christmas dress to my senior year christmas dance dress.  she was always present.  she was at every birthday, every thanksgiving, every christmas, school plays, church plays, and would come for weekend visits from beaumont.  we would travel through the baytown tunnel to visit her beaumont house on a regular basis too.  there is one vivid memory that is still etched in my memory, as if it was felt, just yesterday.  when it was time for her to leave to go home...i always begged her to stay.

i remember when it was both honey and paw paw that i was begging to stay longer.  paw paw died when i was only 7 years old.  he was a lover of life and a lover of people.  he was a carpenter.  and he loved honey and my mother with everything he had.  and when my brother and i came along...well...we might as well have hung the moon in the night sky.  i missed him dearly as a child.  and even now...when i think about what his relationship with honey, my mother, me and my brother, and my children would be like if he was still here...i feel sadness.  he would have been the one to bring chad out of his shell...i'm sure of it.  he would have been the life of the party.  he would have taught kevin everything he knew about tools and wood.  he would have helped kevin build his patio roof and laugh with happiness and pride at the way his grandson used a hammer.  he would have cuddled my babies and woken them from their naps upon entering the house because he just couldn't stand one more minute of waiting to hold them.  after he died...honey took on the role of grandparent alone.  and she did a great job.

every other wednesday, i drop annslee off at my parents house and make the drive to honey's house.  some days we clean her house.  some days we organize cabinets.  some days i take her grocery shopping...and some days she takes me out to eat.  two weeks ago, we pulled out all of her christmas decorations and decorated the house for christmas.  she told me stories of christmases past and tales of where the special decorations came from, and we laughed and marveled at what twinkly lights can do for a manger scene.  i do things like change the clock batteries that are out of her reach...making sure the time is changed for daylight savings.  mainly i tell her things that are on my heart...desires...fears...thoughts...and ideas, and then i listen.  i listen to her stories and her morsels of wisdom and encouragement.

i'm a better person...a better woman...because of honey.

we are all better.

and let's face it...

she can rock a pair of aviators.

yesterday...when i got to her house, the were freshly baked chocolate chip cookies waiting for me.

we sat at the kitchen table, had cookies and coffee, talked and marveled proudly at her old recipe cards and the recipe book that she was given upon marrying my paw paw.

i ran my fingers over the tattered pages and lingered over her hand written notes.

i asked her what she used to make for dinners for her family and asked her how she had the energy to come home from her job and prepare home made dinners.  she told me about getting up early to make biscuits from scratch...using the top of a drinking glass to cut out the perfect sized circles, fried eggs, and fresh bacon.  every morning.

i wonder what my paw paw would think if he knew that chad got his own breakfast every morning...and that most mornings...the kids eat cold cereal.

i thought about what chad and the kids would think if i got up at 5 to make them a breakfast like honey's every morning.

i thought about how, as home makers...i truly believe that many of us have gotten lazy...and that we don't take our job seriously enough.  after all...it is one of the most important and rewarding jobs on the planet.

i roll my eyes at laundry...yet i don't iron a stitch.  i complain about dirty dishes in the sink...yet i have an automatic dishwasher.  i complain about the kid's toys being all over the place...yet i am getting ready to buy them more in a month.  i complain about not having time...yet i surf facebook, pinterest, and read blogs and tweets every day.  i complain about cooking...yet i have a microwave and box prepared or frozen dinners and waffles out of a box.  i complain that i need some new clothes...yet i spend the first whole half of the day in pj pants or sweats and i'm certainly not sewing them all myself.  i complain about my hair...but with our laziness...it is perfectly acceptable to go out of the house with it in a bird's nest bun on the top of my head or a baseball hat to cover the nappiness.  i'm not sure what i think about all of this.

what i do know...is that my wednesdays with honey...make me want to be better.

i don't know that i will be busting out any homemade pie crusts in the next week or anything...but i am going to be grateful for my job today.  and i am going to spend my time wisely and take it seriously.  i am going to set the buzzer to "on" on the washer and drier because, by golly...i need to get those suckers out of there and not let them sour by forgetting about them.  the bathrooms are going to be cleaned and the clutter picked up.  the kids are going to help and do their parts...while talking respectfully to me and each other.  dinner will be prepared with love and a homemade recipe will be found for thanksgiving. i will make something with my hands...a first step in learning to sew (even if it is just getting that silly button sewn on after several months of sitting on my "to do" list.  and best of all...the children will be kissed and loved and celebrated...and they will not catch my eyes on any kind of screen instead of their beautiful faces.

 i love my job.  it's time that i take a little more pride in my work.

i learned that from honey.