hour glass

tonight marks the closing of the 2012 summer olympics.  it's a sad day.  i hate it when they're over.  but when i gauge things in terms of the olympics...it is unwelcomingly brought to my attention...once again...how quickly time passes.  like...when i first fell in obsession with michael phelps was in athens, 8 whole years ago.  and then i remember beijing 4 years ago, very clearly.

this morning, chad said,

"so the next olympics...we will have 2 teenagers; aiden will be in jr. high; and annslee will be aiden's age."

these are things that should never be brought to my attention.

my heart strings are wound way too tight for this sort of information.  my brain can't handle it.

just today, my girl lost her front tooth.  and we all know that once they lose those two, front, baby teeth...they might as well start driving.  it makes them look so much older.  we let that thing dangle for as long as possible.  and when she yelled from the other room this afternoon,

"i pulled my tooth out!!!!"

i ran to her and smiled and grabbed her face and said, "yaaaaaaaayyyyyy!!!"

but my heart wept.  i'm finding myself more and more thinking,

i'm not ready.  i'm not ready for you to lose your front teeth.  i'm not ready for you to be in the next school grade.  and this just all translates into...

i'm not ready for you to grow up.

but every beautiful day...that's what they do. they just keep growing. they inch their way closer to independence.

when my babies were in my belly...i wanted nothing more than to make the time fly.  i wanted them to hurry up and grow so that they could be here.  during that time...i didn't have any understanding that a day would come that i would want that same time to slow.

i ask myself all the time now:

how can i make the days count?  because let's face it.  i can't make 24 hours be more than 24 hours.  but i can enjoy more of the minutes that make those hours up.

play more rounds of candyland.  let her crack the eggs.  share a lemonaide and share secrets at the same time.  ask him what position he would play if he could play any position he wanted.  color.  watch youtube videos on how to make puppets.  blow bubbles in one breath and talk sports in the next.

i'm realizing more and more that when i watch them pull away for college...i will never think,

man...i wish i had spent more time cleaning the bathrooms or organizing the hall closets.

i have a feeling that my tears will be because i wish we could play just one more game of candyland or sit and talk about sports over lemonaide for a little longer.

****

i think i'm going to go meet the kids upstairs.  i hear a game of hide-n-seek in the works that could use my expertise.