nine...but we are gonna call it 6

the first full week on bed rest wasn't too terrible. i am actually a lot more comfortable than i was. i knew i was hurting...but i didn't know that it was totally caused by activity. when i'm standing up and especially if i'm walking around, the baby falls down into my pelvis and rests on my cervix causing lots of pain and swelling. well...that was getting old, but i thought that i just had to suffer through it and that it was not causing anything dangerous. evidently i was wrong. because since i'v been off my feet, the pressure and pain is gone. i had a dr. appointment yesterday and she said that we were doing everything right. she checked me and said that nothing had changed since she checked me a week ago in the hospital. i will go every week and she will do a fetal fibronectin test every 2 weeks until 32 weeks. if at 32 weeks, it still comes back negative, she said i could maybe get a little more brave because that would take me to 34 weeks. so, instead of looking at it as 10 very long weeks, i am taking this a week at a time. 6 weeks just sounds better than 10 anyway.

we have, what seems to be a very workable schedule going. chad feeds the kids breakfast before he leaves for the office mondays through thursdays. my mom comes at 10 am on mondays and tuesdays and stays until he can get home in the afternoon. on mondays, she does the laundry...even washing and changing the sheets!! i can sit on the couch and help fold...which i actually like doing because i feel like i'm helping a little. on every other tuesday, we have...GET THIS...a sweet lady that is coming to clean the house. this will happen until i get to 36 weeks and can safely do it again!! thanks to miss ann for her name and number and for "loaning" her to us. my sweet mother in law offered to help us in this way and it makes me giddy just thinking about it!! i do love a clean house and i do love the idea of someone else doing it and i do love the idea of it being done on a regular basis!!!! thanks sue! then, on wednesday morning, honey (my sweet grandmother) comes, spends wed night with us and is here on thursdays too. all of my doctor's appointments are on thursday mornings while she is here, so that makes that easier. then, chad is off on fridays, saturdays, and takes the kids to church with him on sundays. i made a breakfast and lunch plan that will remain the same each week, so whoever is here can just look at the fridge and know exactly what the kids are supposed to have to eat without any questions. this also helps chad with the grocery shopping each week. it's basically the same list every week. (not that he doesn't come home with the occasional box of lucky charms that was NOT on the list) then...the other huge help are the dinners that are coming every other night from friends!!!! they don't know how forward i look to the hot meal and especially the visit with them! let's face it...at this point...one of my consistant excitements is "what am i gonna eat next?" :)

so...1 week down and i feel like a pro at sitting.

ten

well...technically 9 and 5 days. i was tempted to tell the whole story...my need to relay details and all...but decided to just go from here. because that's really my little mantra right now. "just go from here."

i have been put on bedrest for the duration of the pregnancy. technically, until 36 weeks...(same as with aiden)...when they will take me off and let things happen. the hospital stay was not entirely bad. the bad part...chad being out of town and me really wanting him there with me. the bright side...a little sleep aid known as ambien. anyhow...the facts are:

1. dilated to 1 cm (not super uncommon for a fourth pregnancy at this stage in the game)
2. short cervix (also not uncommon with 4th and how low she is and all the pressure i'v felt since about 12 weeks)
3. 0 station (still unsure about this one...but i'm doing everything i can to keep her up high in my uterus and not on my cervix-short of standing on my head)

hence the bed rest and drinking more water than i thought humanly possible. i think i got up to pee 6 times in the night last night. and that is conservative compared to what it is during the day. i'm allowed to get up to go to the bathroom; take a shower or bath; get my water and a small snack that doesn't have to be prepared. no cleaning, laundry, cooking, carrying kids, going upstairs, etc.etc.etc. this isn't my first rodeo with this arrangement. it happened with aiden at 30 weeks. i was somewhat expecting it this time, but really hoping my body would last. the doctor didn't think i would have trouble when we started talking about having a 4th because we thought it was caused by a virus, fever and dehydration with aiden...so we thought the chances of it happening again were slim. however, i had a feeling a little while back that we may be in the same situation toward the end because of how similar aiden's little sister's pregnancy is to her's. anyway...here we are.

when i first got home from the hospital, i was struggling with being really down and wondering how i was going to lay here for 10 weeks...not because my body felt like getting up and running around the block a few times but because of how lonely you get. that's what i remember from last time. i'm feeling better now. a new week has started and we have a plan in place. a good friend has already put a meal plan in place and my mom and grandmother are on duty mondays through thursday. annslee and i both owe you all.

i intend to keep this updated on a regular basis. after all...i've got some time on my hands!!

9 weeks 5 days and counting...

the new latchkey kids

when i was younger, i remember over hearing adults talk about latchkey kids and even as a child...i knew it was considered a negative or sad thing. i knew that these where the kids that i went to school with who didn't get picked up by a carpool mom friend or walk in to a home filled with the smell of freshly baked cookies and a glass of cold milk waiting for them on the table. these school friends walked home to an empty house, let themselves in, and then were responsible for entertaining themselves until someone arrived home from work that night. i have been thinking about these kids lately and wondering what the people who felt sorry for those kids would think about kids these days. i think we have new latchkey kids. they are the cell phone kids. about a year ago, i started realizing how much time a text here and a phone call there would take away from my kids. i felt like if my cell phone went off...i needed to answer it. what if it was super important or an emergency of some sort. someone was calling. someone was texting. obviously they needed me. i don't want to miss anything. you know what i realized? it was never any of those things. i realized how i could be right with my 3 precious little ones...in the same room with them...but be missing them. when that phone was in my hand...i was disengaged. and i don't even have one of the fancy phones with internet and e-mail and games, etc. etc. etc. that is when i decided that i did not want to miss what my kids were saying to me. i did not want them to see me staring at my phone screen or typing a text or listen to me chit chatting away. i wanted them to see my eyes. i wanted them to see and feel me focusing on them and what they wee showing me or telling me about their day or their circumstances. i wanted to be engaged with them. i decided to put the phone away. it was no longer going to be stored on the table or in my back pocket to ensure that i didn't miss something. it was in my purse. i realized that we do not have to be accessible 24 hours a day. a while back, the staff at our church all got iphones. i can not believe how excited everyone was about this. it was as if it was christmas morning for a bunch of little kids. i heard how much more convenient this will make things. e-mail...enternet...maps...facebook...online poker at your fingertips. whoa!! how did we ever manage before? chad did not get one. we had just re-signed our contract with sprint and it was going to cost as much as the phone to get out of it, so we decided it was not a necessary use of our money or the church's. however, as everyone used their cool, new gadget, chad began to feel like he was missing out. he really wanted this thing. so, we waited until our contract was up and the iphone was much cheaper and he got it. i will admit that there are small ways that having this phone makes certain things like finding a restaurant easier, but i find myself hating it. i have heard it called by other friends of mine "the other woman." i can relate. we had a conversation the other night where chad said that he felt like he was checking out all the time...he wasn't engaged...it was too easy to be distracted by this little piece of technology and all of it's aps (that's iphone talk). i was super proud of him and really excited at the thought of not competing with a phone anymore. he was feeling the same thing i was feeling about my phone a while back. during this conversation, we talked about how if we thought the latchkey kids had it rough from when we were little...how must the cell phone kids feel now. it got me thinking about what the consequences are going to be for the kids who grow up with parents who were always on their phones...whether talking, e-mailing, messing around on facebook, or playing games. i just know that sometimes it feels lonelier to have someone in your presence who is totally disengaged from you than to not have anyone there at all. we don't want our kids to be the latchkey kids of today...that's for sure. at the risk of sounding like some sort of 6 shooter...join us and put your cell phones away.

everyone's just livin' life around here

it's been a little while, hasn't it? this summer has flown by in some ways and has decided to be quite pokey in others. it seems to take a couple of weeks to get used to it being summer. we definitely sleep in...which i loooooovvvve! i also love not having to follow the traditional schedule. for example, we have brunch at 10 am instead of breakfast and lunch. i usually make a big meal...like with eggs, muffins, smoothies, toast, biscuits, cereal, yogurt, and fruit. obviously it is just some combination of all of those things and not all of it every day. anyways, the kids are usually hungry enough to eat it all and then they have a healthy snack at 2 and dinner at 5. it works a lot better than breakfast, lunch and dinner. they eat way better and i don't have to be in the kitchen as much...which i also loooooovvvve!

chad and i went to austin for a couple of days and my parents kept the kids for us. that was fun. we were only back 2 days before we drove the 17 hours to iowa. we were there for 10 days and then we were only back 2 days before chad had to leave for a church planter's training at mark driscoll's church in seattle and his master's work at fuller in california. it would sure be nice to have some sort of relaxing vacation...like in hawaii...for a couple of weeks to end the summer. however, traveling is the opposite of relaxing for me, so even if i was relaxing while i was there (as much as you could relax being in the 3rd trimester of a 4th pregnancy while watching 3 young kids on the beach) i would most likely be stressed and tired again by the time we got home.

i'm trying to muster up the energy each day to do something fun with the kids. i don't want them to be bored. i am taking them to space center houston next week to see all the star wars exhibits, but i'm actually dreading being on my feet the whole time. do you think anyone would notice if i took a lawn chair or something? maybe i can talk my mommy into going with me! :)

kevin is leaving for a european excursion tomorrow. it is weird to think that by the time everyone gets back and settled again, it will be almost time to start school. the plus...closer to baby time! he was telling me of all his plans yesterday...vienna; germany; prague; the beaches of croatia; etc...and i told him of my new and exciting brunch/dinner schedule. i started feeling sorry for myself for a second...thinking that he was really living and i was so hum drum...but then the funniest thing happened: i felt my little, baby girl kick inside me and at that i smiled and thought...now, that's life!