Great Guys

last night, i went up to say goodnight to the kids after chad had tucked them in. before i opened chase's door, i heard him talking to someone. i figured colton had snuck in there and that he was talking to him. but when i quietly opened the door to spy on them and their brotherly cahoots, i saw that he was laying in bed, facing the wall and talking to himself. when he heard me, he stopped and said, "hi mommy." i climbed in bed with him and asked him who he was talking to. he said, "i was praying." amazing feeling right there!! but then, i asked him to keep praying while i layed with him. he said ok.

and with his little eyes shut tight he sweetly said, "Jesus and God...I love you so much. you are such great guys. Thank you Jesus for dying on the cross for us and our sins. I love you so much."

puddin

look who's

happy...

and really, really cute...

and liking this...


and these...

and especially this.

e-christmas

this post is coming to you from my brand new, red, cutie cute cute netbook laptop. chad really surprised me this year and brought out the big guns! i had whimsically wished for a laptop...not thinking that it would really happen. let me be honest...between aiden, chase, jumpstart world and a baby, i checked my e-mail once a week...if i was lucky. and then, the computer ran so slow that i would have time to sift through 1/4 of them before i had to get up and call it quits. if someone needed me...they were just going to have to call. and facebook or blogging...forget about it. well...not anymore! now...this little pretty can sit right next to the rocker in the living room or even go to the bathroom with me. (okay...i probably won't do that very often, although it is about the only quiet time i have all day.)

this was definitely an e-christmas. we had huge, flat screen plasma tv's, cameras, laptops, bluerays, and ds'a flying around everywhere. just the sight of it was enough to humble one. it really is strange to watch my 4 year old walk around with her very own pinky pink ds with her princess and the frog game talking about needing the charger to charge the battery. shouldn't she be playing with a susie talks alot or something? certainly not walking around with charger cords and electronics. however, she out works me on a computer, so what should i expect? i was thinking this year about how when i was little, the BIG presents were the good ones...the ones we looked longingly at and shook everyday until we could finally rip into them on christmas morning. now...it is rare to have a BIG one under the tree. the little ones are gawked at now. cell phones, a ds, or jewelry. i was thinking this thought on christmas eve as i was surveying the magic of the living room before it looked like a red and green wrapped bomb went off. then...what do you know...on christmas morning...my parents prooved me wrong when they brought in the 46 inch flat screen for our living room. my eyes got just as big as the tv and i thought, "nope........the biggest ones are still the best!"

on a side note: yesterday we had the rule that they could play whatever they wanted for as long as they wanted. (as in, no time limits on their new electronics.) as i sit here playing on my new computer i wonder...can that rule apply to me as well?

10 years

i can not believe that we have been married 10 years. this post comes to you a bit late...but not a bit forgotten. november 27th was the day. in the early days, we talked about going to hawaii for our 10 year anniversary. we didn't do that. somehow i think that puddin wouldn't have appreciated having her food source removed from her to be gallivanting on a beach somewhere. i don't think she really cared that it was our 10 year anniversary. we, instead went to see the blind side at a shady, but well priced movie theater and made the annual trip to target to get our ornament that signifies the year for us. we got a frame to hang on the tree and took a picture of ourselves holding up the number 10. however the frame is hanging...smack dab on the front of the tree without a picture in it because i have not had time to get it developed. but, that's beside the point. i am very glad that on year one...when i was 8 months pregnant with colton, we started the anniversary ornament tradition. they are kept in a separate box and 2 years ago i wrote down on a piece of paper which ornament went with which year and why we chose that particular one so that we would remember. last year's ornament was "hope" because we were really hoping to have a baby girl before the next christmas. this was a pretty tall order because i was not pregnant and we had been trying for like a year. well, you can imagine the tears when i pulled that ornament out this year and remembered why we got it as i looked at sweet annslee james being rocked in the rocking chair by granna. boy...was that a thank you so much Lord moment. about a week later, we were sitting at the dinner table and telling the kids the story of how daddy and mommy met in clemson at a superbowl party that the church put on every year. chase was particularly interested in this story and sat up and asked, "um mommy...when you met daddy...did you go up to him and say, "do you want to have kids together?" i laughed and thought, "that'd be a way to scare a guy off!!"

for family movie night, last friday night we watched our wedding video with the kids. they had never seen it. while watching the ceremony:

colton: i was just in you tummy then!
me: ummmm...no.

aiden: oh...i know where we were during your wedding!! we were at granna's!

2 in 1

because of my lack of time these days, i am going to do a 2 blogs in 1 tonight. first off...would be a post titled "oh holy night...part 2". last week, chad had to work late every night. he had papers due for school and stayed at the office working on them every night. i am still adjusting to juggling things myself. if everything goes as planned, it's no problem. tiring...but no problem. this particular night...things did not go as planned. i needed to give annslee a bath, so i made the kids dinner, and while they were eating got her bath ready in her tub by the kitchen sink. i took her clothes and diaper off and while i was getting her into the bathtub, she decided to pee all down the front of my shirt. i called for colt to go get me a clean shirt as i stepped in the puddle on the floor. i used my peed on shirt to mop up the floor and threw on the clean one. after her bath, i was in the rocking chair feeding her as the kids finished up dinner. i asked colt to rinse the dishes and load the dishwasher for me. he was doing that while aiden was crying because i was trying to make her eat her dinner from the chair. that's when chase carried his full glass of orange juice from the table and tripped...spilling it all over the kitchen floor, the walls and into the living room carpet. he started crying...making that 2 out of 4 that were crying. i knew if i stopped feeding annslee that she would start screaming herself...so i chose to just sit there...totally out of control as the oj soaked into the carpet pad...never to be properly cleaned. that made me want to cry. then i did what was only logical. i got mad at chad. :)

the second post would be titled "the mrs." yesterday, i went to both boy's christmas parties at school. only they are not called christmas parties anymore because that might offend somebody. they are now "winter parties". only i think that is stupid and call them christmas parties anyways. i mean, who are we fooling? they are at christmas time and they are doing christmas activities. santa was even there. seriously? winter party???? at chase's, a little boy came up to me and asked if he could come over to our house to play. i said "sure...we will have to do that sometime." then he ran off and told chase that he was coming to our house to play which got chase all excited too. then the little boy came over to me again and said, "when can i come over mrs.........ummmmm......mrs. chase?

Oh Holy Night

so, puddin has decided that she is not going to sleep at nights. she made this call about when chad's mom and grandmother came in from iowa for a nice, holiday visit the weekend before thanksgiving. it would start at the 9 or 10:00 feeding and last till 4 am and sometimes until 8am. at first she would scream and holler, but now she just is not asleep unless you keep putting the pappy back in her mouth every time it decides to pop out. i'm beginning to think that the pappy is conspiring against me. these are the thoughts that seem realistic in the middle of a sleepless night. 2 nights ago, i tried the bouncy seat, the swing, the ever popular hold her all night so at least one of us is sleeping, the walk around and bounce, the snuggle in bed tactic, and finally the baby einstein video so that i could get 30 minutes.......all to no avail. our bedroom looked like the circus. at 4:30, i woke up chad. when i woke up to get the boys ready for school and aiden breakfast, she was sweetly sleeping. when she started this, i thought...this is my fourth baby. i've trained all my babies to be great sleepers. i've been responsible for getting them all on great schedules from the beginning. i've prided myself in NEVER...EVER waking chad up to help me in the middle of the night. i've been in charge and in total control of their sleep patterns. i can do it again. now i'm asking myself, how can such a small person have such control???? and, how can i become used to being up all night where i will greet the other puddins as they skip down the stairs in the morning sweetly requesting breakfast just as i've gotten her to sleep? (well...it is probably more accurate to say that she, herself has decided to go to sleep.) anyhow, chad and i are trying to split the night because...let's face it...she is going to do what she wants and we are totally at the mercy of the conspiring pappy.

now, i've used every free minute of the tired time that i have to help other family members get their christmas shopping done. you know the calls. the "do you have any ideas for the kids?" calls. i've had 6 of them right off the top of my head...plus actually going to the stores 3 different times to help pick things out for them to get them. it is great that everyone wants to get them something that they all want, but now it's 18 days till christmas, all the stuff on their lists have been taken, and i have yet to come up with anything to get them from chad and i. plus, when the "i don't know" answer doesn't fly, i come up with something off the top of my head and under pressure and now i can't remember what i've told people. when did christmas presents for kids become so hard. a doll for suzy, a toy car for tommy...etc. shouldn't it be a little easier? this is about when i decided that they have way too much as it is and that next year we are scaling waaaayyy back. i remember coming to the same conclusion this time last year. i may sound a little bah humbugish...and for that i am sorry. i never said you would get anything but direct honesty here. and next year, i'm doing my shopping BEFORE i help everyone else do theirs!

a few little dittys

there is little time for the ole' blog these days. holiday season at the elementary school is quite the affair. the sweet 4 year old sissy is having...shall we say..."adjustment issues." and the cutie pie little sissy is what my mom calls "colicky"...which sounds old school to me, however i think she is right. apparently i was colicky when i was a baby...which i would like to apologize to my probably still tired and frazzled parents at this point. and let's be honest...if i do get a little break, the last thing on my mind is blogging. she is actually laying under her little hanging animal toys right now and is not crying, so i thought i would give a little catch up.

colton: he came home from school the other day and said he knew the "F" word. i closed my eyes, held my breath and asked him what the "F" word was...hoping he would say "fart." no such luck. he does, in fact know the "F" word, due to one of the boys in his class saying it and another girl spelling it. it looks like 3rd grade is the end of innocence and we will need to be having some candid conversations that i am not entirely ready for shortly before he starts hearing it on the playground.

chase: had a teacher conference where his praises were sung, thankfully. i did have to explain to his teacher that his two take home reader book reports were done, and that we didn't send them back in his folder, not because he wasn't ready for the next ones...but that i wasn't. i still hate homework.

aiden: just to prove that i'm not lying about the "adjustment issues"...the other day, while i was feeding annslee, she came to me and told me that she was spitting up. needing a little attention maybe??

annslee: eating, pooping, fussing, sometimes sleeping if we are all jumping through the right hoops that day, growing (9 pounds now), looking super cute, and slowly learning that not being held can be ok sometimes.

chad and i: tired...but very blessed.

GNO

getting ready to leave for our GNO

(i'm not super stoked about this picture of me. i think i look really tired. probably because i am. but let's face it...the night was all about aiden.)

cutie pie

aiden doing some coloring before we started our games

the "in house" brewed root beer and famous pizza

(unfortunately i didn't get a picture of the pizookie...which is a chocolate chip cookie baked in a deep dish, personal pizza pan served hot with vanilla ice cream piled on top. YUMMY.)

last night aiden and i had our GNO. i was really looking forward to spending some un-interrupted time with my big girl. i vowed to talk about anything and everything that she wanted to talk about. and if you know our precocious aiden, you know that i was mainly listening. which was fine. everyone needs to be listened to once in a while. she chose to go to BJ's...a favorite among the locals. at least our locals. (i love that i sound like we live in a beach town in hawaii with that whole "locals" line.) anyhow, we chatted and colored and played games and shared a pizza and pizookie and chatted some more. we basically did whatever she wanted and it was so much fun. i really want to do this with each of the boys as well. it's tricky to make happen...but oh so important! i loved our GNO ("girl's night out" for all you more "advanced" folks who didn't know what that meant).

a note-worthy conversation of the evening included when i was signing the check at the restaurant and aiden said she needed to go poopie. i asked her if she could wait until we got home and she said that she could. when she was getting out of the car in our driveway, she exclaimed, "oh mom...i didn't go poopie in my panties!" i said, "no you didn't!" then she turned around and tried to look at her bottom and said to herself, "good job butt!!!!"

some of my favorites.

the 4 darlins

the biggest brother and the littlest sister

chase and annslee (the 2 peas in a pod. he loves that she looks most like him.)

aiden and annslee: "sissys"

the latest of the sugar plum

i love these. i actually got ready. chad was taking me out for my birthday. and look how sweet annslee james is.

what i normally look like...no make up and hair doing who knows what :/

(colton was the photographer here. this one is for you, ashley. :))

poor aiden has been strugglin. she is no longer the baby or the only girl. she is having to share "her boy's" affections and stays right at my feet all day. she loves her sister, but is unsure of where she fits now. temporary, i know...but a big transition for the big sister. a couple of days ago, while she was supposed to be playing with the boys and some friends, i found her outside...meditating...literally.

*i need to get some good pictures of chad. he is one of my favorites too. although not a big fan of the camera. now that he's finally well...we will have to corner him.

what birthday?

i told my mom that i would just skip my birthday this year. however, i still want the presents. it was yesterday and i think it un-necessary to discuss my age. yuck. we sort of celebrated by chad and i taking chase and aiden to target. my mom is out of town and my dad offered to bring an ice cream cake down and watch annslee for us to go get the rug from target that my parents got me. i also wanted to pick up a few clothing items that would work now and hopefully later too. we decided that leaving all 4 kids with my dad was not very nice, so we divided and conquered. i thought the easiest combination for him would be colton and annslee. so, chase and aiden "got" to go with us. i don't know what made me think that a good birthday activity would be to try on jeans, but let me just say...it is not. bad decision. i did end up with 2 button down sweater vests and 2 white t-shirts to go with them. and...when the clothing for the body is just not working out...move on to the shoe/hat/purse department to make yourself feel better. i got 2 pairs of shoes for my skinny again feet and a hat for the winter. thankfully, chad agreed to the shoes/hat purchase due to fear of another "post jeans try on" performance. the rug for the living room also worked out swimmingly. i think i should stay away from any clothing from the waist down that does not involve stretchy...very stretchy material. and, any full length mirrors for a while. i'll just stick to admiring my feet in their new shoes for now.

tonight, chad took the boys to the star wars concert in houston. it consists of a symphony playing the music from star wars to large screens showing scenes from all of the movies. and also a display of a lot of the costumes that were worn in the filming of the movies. chase was most excited about seeing chewbacca. i'm glad they got to go...and i'm more glad chad remembered to take the gel in his pocket. i'm at home with the girls, where we will be enjoying some quiet girl time. although aiden did just ask, "when are my boys gonna get home. i want em really bad." i guess watching annslee eat and poop and sleep is not as fun for her as we made it sound when she watched them leave for their boy fun tonight. poor big sister who is experiencing not being the baby and only girl anymore. i think she is feeling a little left out.

at a glance...

this past week, at a glance. (it should be self explanatory why i have not had a chance to blog and post the cutest ever pictures of our 4 loves.)

sunday night: mom comes to stay with us to help in the mornings getting the kids off to school and in the evenings getting dinner and the kids in bed.
monday morning: took annslee to the doctor for a jaundice check.
monday afternoon: took annslee to the hospital lab for blood draw to test billi levels per dr.'s request
monday night: started annslee on the billi blanket at home for jaundice
tuesday morning: took annslee back to hospital lab for re-check
tuesday afternoon: dr. called and told me to keep her on the billi blanket except for when she eats.
wednesday morning: hospital again for re-check
wednesday afternoon: dr. called and said to keep her on it through thursday evening and then take her off for the night and re-check on friday morning.
wednesday afternoon (post nurse call): i have a postpartum, lack of sleep induced, irratioinal, emotional breakdown and mom and ms. ann come to my rescue.
thursday afternoon: chase comes home from school with cough and fever
thursday evening: per dr.'s orders, i leave with annslee to stay at my parent's until chase is 24 hrs fever free
friday morning: chad takes chase to dr. and i take annslee to hospital for billi check (this is what i call the picket fence defensive play)
friday afternoon: say chase does not have the flu, but another bad respiratory virus and annslee's billiruben levels are coming down and she can stay off the billiblanket.
friday afternoon: colton comes home from school with 102 fever and aiden has the sniffles
friday night: i go to store and get supplies/food/medicines for chad and drop them off. notice chad making himself hot tea and make a mental note that that was not a good sign
saturday: chad begins coughing and feeling bad. colton running 103.
saturday night: stuff (furniture) that we inherited from grandparent's house moved into our house at 11 pm.
sunday: chase better, chad and colton still sick, aiden on the fence. i start having pain in lower abdomen where i can't even stand up straight. wonder what is wrong...but in complete denial that it could be anything serious. realize possible uterine infection and promise to call dr/ in the morning.
monday: chase and colton and aiden home from school to ensure 24 hours fever free and chad says he's feeling better. i line up a house cleaner to come tuesday morning to clean/sterilize the huse and annslee and i plan to come home tuesday afternoon. call my dr. and they say it is probably due to lifting her carseat around every day last week and strained. wait and see approach.
monday night at 9:45: chad calls and he, colton and aiden running fever. i call house cleaner and cancel and tell her i will call to re-schedule. praying that uterus will feel better tomorrow and that kids and chad will start feeling better.
tuesday: chase back at school; colton at home but feeling way better; chad feels like total crap; aiden still mild and basically fever free. deep breaths and praying for His protection and that our family can be all together soon. annslee misses her brothers and sister. i miss my husband and other 3 loves.

WELCOME SWEET LOVE

annslee james clarkson

weighing 6 pounds 1 oz.

and 17 1/2 inches long

sweet love

i'm not just resting. i'm dilating.

so, my regular doctor's appointments are on thursdays, and that is also when i change weeks. however, yesterday i had to go in for a nurse visit to get the B12 shot due to being anemic...(which just gives my mom and dad the ability to give me a big "i told you so" on my need to consume red meat...which i haven't done in 16 years.) because of us almost going into the hospital this past saturday night (woke up in the the middle of a hard contraction at 1:19 am and then they were every 5 minutes until around 4:45) they decided to "check" out the situation. i was somewhat in shock when she said, "ummm...you're dilated to 3 and 60% and the baby's head is right here coming through the cervix...you won't have to push at all. i'm not even sure you'll make the appointment on thursday."

excuse me???? did you say 3? did you say it's going to happen so fast that the next time i start contracting, we need to "get there"? did you say something about sitting on towels? did you say that by this time next week, we would have a baby?

i don't feel so bad about resting now. it's called preparation.

jedi training

birthday party down. now it's time to have a baby.

for the faithful readers, prayers, and "good deal" leather bag lovers

i must be up and around more...as the blogs have slowed down. sorry faithful readers, (if i have any.) bed rest officially ended at my doctor's appointment last thursday. she said...and i quote..."you can do whatever you feel like doing." well...alright then. does that mean whatever my brain feels like doing (going shopping and taking a much needed jog to get the muscles in my legs to wake from their 10 week hibernation slumber) or what my body feels like doing (which is more lounging on the couch)? as we approach this week's appointment, i find myself hoping for a "dilated to 3" status. i was a full 1 last week, so i figure with all the work i've done, (and by "work" i mean walking at a snail's pace at target, followed by soaking in a hot tub, followed by getting my swollen feet rubbed by my, oh so patient and understanding hub) that is not too much to ask. let's face it. at this point, i just want to know that almost 1/3 of the work is already done.

on "a boy who loves star wars" note, chase's birthday party is this weekend. he has been saying for months that he wants a darth vadar cake...which normally would be an acceptable challenge for me. however, in my delicate...and increasingly uncomfortable condition...i'm not sure a 3-D version is in the cards. after researching online and realizing that to make this concoction i would be on my feet for like 3 days straight, leaning over the kitchen counter, up to my swollen hair follicles in black icing...i came up with a plan. and it's called the "have chad pick up an inexpensive darth vadar mask to slap on top of a sheet cake" plan. i tell myself that this is okay, due to the "condition" i am currently in and that chase will think it is the coolest that he will get to wear his cake and eat it too. if you are the praying kind...please (at this moment because i know if not now, you will forget) pray for no rain so that i don't end up with his entire 1st grade class in my house and that the jedi training course that chad has planned can actually take place outside where it belongs. somehow, the light saber training and destroy the death star game won't have the same "affect" in my living room.

and an update on the "wish" post from last time...i got a bag for annslee's lovelies that i think is pretty lovely and it was only $16 dollars. which is a good thing, considering we got down the infant carrier to clean up this weekend and the button the you push to adjust the straps to fit the baby is totally broken. the plus? a stylish, new and improved, very girly car seat for the baby sister. graco...how much of my money do you have? and are you a part of some conspiracy that i should be aware of?

wish

is this bag not the most delicious bag you have ever seen? i came across it through a random blog that had a link to another random blog that had them featured. it just so happens that i have been in the market for a new diaper bag for annslee...okay. actually for me. (but it would be holding all of her loveliness.)...over the last several days. i have looked at places such as tj max, ross, and target. i have focused on these places because they happen to be the only places i was in and seemed to follow our budget. however...i found nothing. until now. unfortunately this little piece of perfection, although would make the perfect diaper bag, does not meet the price criteria...at roughly $250. annslee's lovelies will have to find another place to be toted.

33 weeks

as long as everything goes according to plan, (aka: the test that predicts labor comes back negative), the doctor says that bed rest will be officially over in 1 week. to think, 8 weeks back, i thought the day would never come. she is actually letting me get up 1 week earlier than what she originally said, and i'm not sure why...but i'm not questioning her!!

we have all been instructed to get flu immunizations this year. aiden and i got the raw end of that stick because we were the only two that had to get the injection instead of the nasal mist. she couldn't because she had received her 4 year immunizations only weeks prior to getting it and i couldn't because i'm pregnant. oh well...it's over and i'm glad it's done. i went to walgreens today to get mine and there was a plus side to this little excursion...and they are called PUMPKIN CANDY CORNS! that's right. they had just put them out on their seasonal isle and i treated myself to 2 bags. i was chomping on one when the pharmacist came out to give me my shot. she said, "whatever gets you through." 1/2 a bag later, i have a bit of a tummy ache. although to my defense, chad ate 2 and aiden ate 2. so i only ate 1/2 a bag minus 4. and i like to tell myself that they probably ate more than that and i just don't know it. i'm gonna have to slow up on the pumpkin candy corns. although...not today. it's the first bag of season, and i'm supposed to be gaining weight anyway...therefore, it doesn't count.

(disclaimer: this post contains a fair amount of rationalization.)

chairs, lunchboxes and trains

i am sitting in my chair...(and i do think it has become MY chair, with all the sitting i've done in it over the last 6-7 weeks)...and the kids are all chomping on their pretzel snacks while we wait, patiently, for chad to get home. i am passing the time by looking online for creative lunchbox ideas because...let's face it...after 2 weeks of school, they are already tired of the same, boring sandwich, snack, fruit, and juice box filled lunchboxes. i am also listening to them show each other, excitedly what shape or number they just made with their pretzel. nothing too exciting. then aiden gets a confused look on her face and puts her hand on her throat and says, very seriously, with furrowed eyebrows..."my throat feels like i ate a train. only i haven't ate a train."

we all just kind of pause and look at her. nobody says anything...we just kind of look at her while she looks at us...because how do you really respond to a statement like that?

all about colton, chase, aiden and annslee

my new philosophy is to enjoy the tranquil and quite days until this baby is born. today is the first day that i have had totally alone since last year on tuesdays and thursdays when the boys and aiden were all in school. aiden spent the night with granna and grandaddy last night since i had an 8:30 doctor's apt this morning. i came home and chad left shortly after that for work. i have just been enjoying my pumpkin spice frap, no whip and a tall glass of water since then. i have been able to chat with a friend and just enjoy the morning. i started thinking that i should enjoy it while it lasts.

on to the doctor's apt. i was worried at first because i had lost a pound and did not grow any since my last apt, however the ultrasound put me at ease. i may not have grown, but our baby girl has! she is weighing in at close to 4 pounds and her measurements changed her due date to october 24th, which is my birthday. that also moves her from the smallish 17th percentile to the 45th. i like to think of that as just a gentle, little rub on the back and a wink from God...letting me know that i was doing good work at growing this baby and that he is keeping her exactly where she should be. if i have annslee when i had aiden, it would make it october 7th...so anythime after that, i'll be one happy individual!

aiden annee-grace starts preschool on tuesday. she is very excited and ready to be with some friends. she is also ready for her little sister. every day she tells me something else she is going to teach her.

the boy's have been in school since this past tuesday and on thursday night, chase came down to our room at 2:30 and announced that he had thrown up in his bed. i must confess that this was a rough night. i can't thank God enough for giving me chad for a husband. he jumped up, got chase in the tub and started getting all the sanitizing under way. i went upstairs to assess the damage and started making laundry piles. unfortunately, we had some stuffed animal casualties due to him having about 28 of them in his bed with him. i was trying to help although moving kinda slow. chad, very sweetly and gently told me to go lay down and that he would take care of all of it. he did...and i was able to go behind him and spray everything with lysol or bleach and then he did a thorough cleaning after that.

i have been on my knees, (figuratively...i'm sure the Lord understands how hard it is for me to actually get on my knees) begging that whatever it was would not spread to the other kids and to chad and i. i'm really trying hard to not stress about all the potential threats this season to all pregnant women. every time i turn on the tv, i'm hearing about how dangerous this flu situation is this fall for pregnant women and their babies and how i'm supposed to stay away from public places and people who come in contact with it. and, i'm also hearing how bad the flu already is in the schools here. i explained to the school nurse my situation and she said that she would let me know as soon as it is on their halls, but i can't help but be apprehensive. this, evidently, is not the best season to be pregnant. the nurse also told me to get the regular flu vaccines for the kids now...so they are getting them next week. i will just keep praying. we are all in God's hands, right? i need to keep reminding myself that they are very capable ones.

meet the teacher...

...could have been a scene out of meet the parents as far as i'm concerned. at my last appointment, i got special permission from the doctor to be able to go up to the school today for "meet the teacher." i explained that as long as i wasn't putting the baby at risk, there was no way that i could send my other, bigger babies to school without knowing who their teachers were, being able to talk with them in person, finding out where their classrooms were, and making sure that they felt comfortable with the situation. yes...chad could have done this on his own, but there are just some things that a mom wants to be a part of. annnnnnddd...maybe a little of me wanted to make sure that the teachers understood "the situation" and that if the kids talk about their mom being at home on the couch, they didn't picture a woman in a moo moo, watching soaps and eating bon bons with her hair in those old fashioned, pink, foam curler things.

so...off we go.

now, it was no secret to us that there was one teacher that colton did not want to get. this is not a reflection on the teacher, mind you...but the common knowledge that this man was very outgoing and loud and had the kids get up and dance on occasion. for my little shy guy...this was not appealing. i made the choice to let it play out and told him that the chances of him getting in this particular class were slim and not to worry. but all summer long, whenever we would talk about this year...he would say, "i just hope i don't get "mr. so and so." on friday, chad took the kids up to the school to see the class lists. i was on the phone with colton when he walked up and made the discovery that sent him into a tailspin of worry for the next 2 days. he got mr. so and so. and to top that off...he did not know one kid in his class.

we had long conversations over the weekend about how sometimes the things that we are most afraid of end up being the things that are the most meaningful. that was then translated into...sometimes the teachers that we are most afraid of in the beginning, end up being our favorites. this seemed to put him in better spirits until this morning. he was so nervous that he had a stomach ache. i pulled him close as we walked from the parking lot into the building and said, "don't worry. you've got this in the bag." chase...who never meets a stranger...or someone he doesn't like, was not worried at all. he was super excited to meet his teacher...and his allotted time to do so came first. after hugging his new teacher, hugging his friends in his class, and attempting to get the snake out of the display case, we headed to the other side of the tracks...known as the upper elementary side of the school. however, colton's teacher, mr. so and so was walking down the hall. colton said, "there's mr. so and so. he overheard colton say his name and said very friendly and outgoing like, "hey colton! you're in my class this year." colton was so nervous that he didn't say a word. however, chase did. he ran up to mr. so and so and pointed at him and said...very loudly i might add, "yeah...only he really didn't want to get you for a teacher."

you know when things start going in slow motion...and you open your mouth but nothing comes out except for a little squeaky noise...and you realize that there is no way to salvage what just happened...and all you want to do is run? well...that about sums it up. mr. so and so handled it with great dignity, especially since there were a ton of other parents and kids standing around who heard this honest outburst from a concerned sibling. as he walked away, i thought, "welp...our work here is done. let's go." however, we still had to make it to colton's classroom for the "formal" meet the teacher, although i wanted to slink out the door...never to return...making up some excuse about why i needed to home school my oldest instead of send him into the classroom where the teacher knows exactly how he feels about him. meanwhile, chad had a conversation with chase about the need to pretend there was tape on his mouth the whole time we were in mr. so and so's classroom. i'll spare you the rest of the details, but chad and i managed to salvage the situation once we were in there and colton became ok after he found a box of legos in the classroom that all the kids were playing with while their parents were putting there best foot forward for the teacher. i figured i didn't need to do that...seeing as my chaser had already put his in his mouth.

conversations with aiden

i have noticed lately that aiden has become quite the little chatter box. when i was little, my mom used to have to tell me that her ears were tired and needed a break. i now understand what she means. i can't get one of a's questions answered before she asks the next one these days. i don't think that i could have possibly talked as much as she does. (chad would, most likely differ in opinion.)

here is how one of our MANY conversations went tonight:

Aiden: Mommy...take my feet off and turn them around backwards and put them back on.

Me: Why?

Aiden: So that I can walk backwards.

Me: How would I take them off?

Aiden: You could cut them off...then turn them around and put them back on.

Me: How would I get them back on though?

*pause*

Aiden: tape.

who knew?

welp...who knew you could outgrow sweatpants?

i like to tell myself that people are wearing things tighter these days and that all my sweatpants are the "tighter style" and that is why i have suddenly outgrown them and that it is actually a good thing and that it is "all baby" and that these 1 or 3 pair of sweatpants that i can no longer get over my hips are made of a fabric that is way less stretchy than other sweatpants.

however...i am still somewhat annoyed at my sweatpants and have been since i tried to get them on this morning.

and furthermore, all my maternity shirts are feeling uncomfortably snug and the maternity tanks are tight and short and nothing feels comfortable except pajama pants and my sleep shirts. i know i have nowhere to go, but sometimes a girl wants to put on a cute, stylish outfit and it does nothing for my declining mood to have nothing cute and stylish to wear...even if it is to just sit in the chair.

and let me just give a piece of advice to any other pregnant women out there...or anyone who is hormonal for another reason...or just plain annoyed..........refrain from getting long hair cut off. it only makes you cry. and obsessively look at all girls on tv that have the long waves that you used to have.

an update of the serious and not-so-serious kind

the not so serious:

the other day, chase came and sat next to me on the couch and touched my belly. i could tell he was thinking about something. he said, "mommy...i want the next baby you have to be a boy so we can name him obi wan kenobi."

i believe it was that very night that chase came over to the couch and told me he had a secret. i said, "whisper it in my ear." he leaned in close and whispered, "at granna's house, i put a lego head in my mouth. and then i swallowed it. BY ACCIDENT. you can't tell ANYONE."

this morning, aiden was drawing and coloring a picture. i asked her what she was drawing and she said, "a picture of you mommy." i said, "thank you aiden. i want to see it when you are done." a couple of minutes later she said, "mommy...i'm not able to draw a flower in your hair. but i can draw a cookie in it!" i said, "a cookie will be perfect!"

an update of the serious kind:

i had the ultrasound yesterday afternoon and the baby looks good. she was moving around a lot, which the technician said was great. her exact words were, "sick babies don't move." she is measuring 2.5 pounds and that is on the small side. she said that was the 17th percentile and that she is just petite. my fluid level looks good and she said that if there was a problem, my fluid level would, most likely be down. basically, she said that i just have small babies. however, colton was 8 pounds 2.5 oz...so he was no small thing. chase was 5 pounds 11 oz at 38 weeks, so he was small. but he had stopped growing and i had very little fluid when they broke my water with him. aiden was 6 pounds 11 oz at 36 weeks and 5 days, so she was on her way to an average weight. so...all this to say, i'm not sure about all that. i will feel better when i see the doctor and she tells me that she has grown since the last time. at least then i'll know she is thriving in there. needless to say, my mother is now stuffing my face with fat and calories to "grow" annslee. i now have an un-natural relationship with cinnamon powdered sugar donuts.

bed rest quote of the day

-"mom...i want you to get up and just try to run around."

aiden

28 weeks

apparently i've reached some sort of milestone. 28 weeks is a good place to be. at least that's what my doctor said when she greeted me today at my appointment. after waiting forever, and getting quite uncomfortable sitting on what is becoming a tinier and tinier table with nothing but a sheet separating me from the rest God's creation, she decided to grace me with her presence. something about rushing from a delivery, blah blah blah...okay...i guess that was a good enough reason to keep me waiting. it doesn't mean that i wasn't getting super uncomfortable though.

everything "down there" still looks good, however she set up an ultrasound on tuesday because i didn't gain any weight (and i was expecting to have packed on quite a bit due to the ice cream, cookies, brownies, candybars, and sedentary lifestyle) and i'm starting to measure small. they will do measurements on the baby then to make sure she is still growing like she should be. let's just hope she is.

i also got special permission to go lay on my mom's couch. we are going to try and go over there a couple time a week. that'll be like a vacation. maybe i'll have lemonade to drink that day instead of just plain water. with an umbrella. (thanks for the suggestion kara. ;)

my entertainment thus far

there's really not much i can say to add to the above...

after a long time of insisting that he never wanted to ride a bike...the other day, colton announced, "ok...i'm gonna ride a bike today." and he did.

changes...

...they are a good thing.

i was tired of cute-sy bloggery.

now...onto the living room.

this is what happens when you spend a lot of time sitting...and looking...and thinking...and planning.

blog...check.

now...onto the rest of the house.

sorry cute husband...who wears his hat backwards...that i love.

nine...but we are gonna call it 6

the first full week on bed rest wasn't too terrible. i am actually a lot more comfortable than i was. i knew i was hurting...but i didn't know that it was totally caused by activity. when i'm standing up and especially if i'm walking around, the baby falls down into my pelvis and rests on my cervix causing lots of pain and swelling. well...that was getting old, but i thought that i just had to suffer through it and that it was not causing anything dangerous. evidently i was wrong. because since i'v been off my feet, the pressure and pain is gone. i had a dr. appointment yesterday and she said that we were doing everything right. she checked me and said that nothing had changed since she checked me a week ago in the hospital. i will go every week and she will do a fetal fibronectin test every 2 weeks until 32 weeks. if at 32 weeks, it still comes back negative, she said i could maybe get a little more brave because that would take me to 34 weeks. so, instead of looking at it as 10 very long weeks, i am taking this a week at a time. 6 weeks just sounds better than 10 anyway.

we have, what seems to be a very workable schedule going. chad feeds the kids breakfast before he leaves for the office mondays through thursdays. my mom comes at 10 am on mondays and tuesdays and stays until he can get home in the afternoon. on mondays, she does the laundry...even washing and changing the sheets!! i can sit on the couch and help fold...which i actually like doing because i feel like i'm helping a little. on every other tuesday, we have...GET THIS...a sweet lady that is coming to clean the house. this will happen until i get to 36 weeks and can safely do it again!! thanks to miss ann for her name and number and for "loaning" her to us. my sweet mother in law offered to help us in this way and it makes me giddy just thinking about it!! i do love a clean house and i do love the idea of someone else doing it and i do love the idea of it being done on a regular basis!!!! thanks sue! then, on wednesday morning, honey (my sweet grandmother) comes, spends wed night with us and is here on thursdays too. all of my doctor's appointments are on thursday mornings while she is here, so that makes that easier. then, chad is off on fridays, saturdays, and takes the kids to church with him on sundays. i made a breakfast and lunch plan that will remain the same each week, so whoever is here can just look at the fridge and know exactly what the kids are supposed to have to eat without any questions. this also helps chad with the grocery shopping each week. it's basically the same list every week. (not that he doesn't come home with the occasional box of lucky charms that was NOT on the list) then...the other huge help are the dinners that are coming every other night from friends!!!! they don't know how forward i look to the hot meal and especially the visit with them! let's face it...at this point...one of my consistant excitements is "what am i gonna eat next?" :)

so...1 week down and i feel like a pro at sitting.

ten

well...technically 9 and 5 days. i was tempted to tell the whole story...my need to relay details and all...but decided to just go from here. because that's really my little mantra right now. "just go from here."

i have been put on bedrest for the duration of the pregnancy. technically, until 36 weeks...(same as with aiden)...when they will take me off and let things happen. the hospital stay was not entirely bad. the bad part...chad being out of town and me really wanting him there with me. the bright side...a little sleep aid known as ambien. anyhow...the facts are:

1. dilated to 1 cm (not super uncommon for a fourth pregnancy at this stage in the game)
2. short cervix (also not uncommon with 4th and how low she is and all the pressure i'v felt since about 12 weeks)
3. 0 station (still unsure about this one...but i'm doing everything i can to keep her up high in my uterus and not on my cervix-short of standing on my head)

hence the bed rest and drinking more water than i thought humanly possible. i think i got up to pee 6 times in the night last night. and that is conservative compared to what it is during the day. i'm allowed to get up to go to the bathroom; take a shower or bath; get my water and a small snack that doesn't have to be prepared. no cleaning, laundry, cooking, carrying kids, going upstairs, etc.etc.etc. this isn't my first rodeo with this arrangement. it happened with aiden at 30 weeks. i was somewhat expecting it this time, but really hoping my body would last. the doctor didn't think i would have trouble when we started talking about having a 4th because we thought it was caused by a virus, fever and dehydration with aiden...so we thought the chances of it happening again were slim. however, i had a feeling a little while back that we may be in the same situation toward the end because of how similar aiden's little sister's pregnancy is to her's. anyway...here we are.

when i first got home from the hospital, i was struggling with being really down and wondering how i was going to lay here for 10 weeks...not because my body felt like getting up and running around the block a few times but because of how lonely you get. that's what i remember from last time. i'm feeling better now. a new week has started and we have a plan in place. a good friend has already put a meal plan in place and my mom and grandmother are on duty mondays through thursday. annslee and i both owe you all.

i intend to keep this updated on a regular basis. after all...i've got some time on my hands!!

9 weeks 5 days and counting...

the new latchkey kids

when i was younger, i remember over hearing adults talk about latchkey kids and even as a child...i knew it was considered a negative or sad thing. i knew that these where the kids that i went to school with who didn't get picked up by a carpool mom friend or walk in to a home filled with the smell of freshly baked cookies and a glass of cold milk waiting for them on the table. these school friends walked home to an empty house, let themselves in, and then were responsible for entertaining themselves until someone arrived home from work that night. i have been thinking about these kids lately and wondering what the people who felt sorry for those kids would think about kids these days. i think we have new latchkey kids. they are the cell phone kids. about a year ago, i started realizing how much time a text here and a phone call there would take away from my kids. i felt like if my cell phone went off...i needed to answer it. what if it was super important or an emergency of some sort. someone was calling. someone was texting. obviously they needed me. i don't want to miss anything. you know what i realized? it was never any of those things. i realized how i could be right with my 3 precious little ones...in the same room with them...but be missing them. when that phone was in my hand...i was disengaged. and i don't even have one of the fancy phones with internet and e-mail and games, etc. etc. etc. that is when i decided that i did not want to miss what my kids were saying to me. i did not want them to see me staring at my phone screen or typing a text or listen to me chit chatting away. i wanted them to see my eyes. i wanted them to see and feel me focusing on them and what they wee showing me or telling me about their day or their circumstances. i wanted to be engaged with them. i decided to put the phone away. it was no longer going to be stored on the table or in my back pocket to ensure that i didn't miss something. it was in my purse. i realized that we do not have to be accessible 24 hours a day. a while back, the staff at our church all got iphones. i can not believe how excited everyone was about this. it was as if it was christmas morning for a bunch of little kids. i heard how much more convenient this will make things. e-mail...enternet...maps...facebook...online poker at your fingertips. whoa!! how did we ever manage before? chad did not get one. we had just re-signed our contract with sprint and it was going to cost as much as the phone to get out of it, so we decided it was not a necessary use of our money or the church's. however, as everyone used their cool, new gadget, chad began to feel like he was missing out. he really wanted this thing. so, we waited until our contract was up and the iphone was much cheaper and he got it. i will admit that there are small ways that having this phone makes certain things like finding a restaurant easier, but i find myself hating it. i have heard it called by other friends of mine "the other woman." i can relate. we had a conversation the other night where chad said that he felt like he was checking out all the time...he wasn't engaged...it was too easy to be distracted by this little piece of technology and all of it's aps (that's iphone talk). i was super proud of him and really excited at the thought of not competing with a phone anymore. he was feeling the same thing i was feeling about my phone a while back. during this conversation, we talked about how if we thought the latchkey kids had it rough from when we were little...how must the cell phone kids feel now. it got me thinking about what the consequences are going to be for the kids who grow up with parents who were always on their phones...whether talking, e-mailing, messing around on facebook, or playing games. i just know that sometimes it feels lonelier to have someone in your presence who is totally disengaged from you than to not have anyone there at all. we don't want our kids to be the latchkey kids of today...that's for sure. at the risk of sounding like some sort of 6 shooter...join us and put your cell phones away.

everyone's just livin' life around here

it's been a little while, hasn't it? this summer has flown by in some ways and has decided to be quite pokey in others. it seems to take a couple of weeks to get used to it being summer. we definitely sleep in...which i loooooovvvve! i also love not having to follow the traditional schedule. for example, we have brunch at 10 am instead of breakfast and lunch. i usually make a big meal...like with eggs, muffins, smoothies, toast, biscuits, cereal, yogurt, and fruit. obviously it is just some combination of all of those things and not all of it every day. anyways, the kids are usually hungry enough to eat it all and then they have a healthy snack at 2 and dinner at 5. it works a lot better than breakfast, lunch and dinner. they eat way better and i don't have to be in the kitchen as much...which i also loooooovvvve!

chad and i went to austin for a couple of days and my parents kept the kids for us. that was fun. we were only back 2 days before we drove the 17 hours to iowa. we were there for 10 days and then we were only back 2 days before chad had to leave for a church planter's training at mark driscoll's church in seattle and his master's work at fuller in california. it would sure be nice to have some sort of relaxing vacation...like in hawaii...for a couple of weeks to end the summer. however, traveling is the opposite of relaxing for me, so even if i was relaxing while i was there (as much as you could relax being in the 3rd trimester of a 4th pregnancy while watching 3 young kids on the beach) i would most likely be stressed and tired again by the time we got home.

i'm trying to muster up the energy each day to do something fun with the kids. i don't want them to be bored. i am taking them to space center houston next week to see all the star wars exhibits, but i'm actually dreading being on my feet the whole time. do you think anyone would notice if i took a lawn chair or something? maybe i can talk my mommy into going with me! :)

kevin is leaving for a european excursion tomorrow. it is weird to think that by the time everyone gets back and settled again, it will be almost time to start school. the plus...closer to baby time! he was telling me of all his plans yesterday...vienna; germany; prague; the beaches of croatia; etc...and i told him of my new and exciting brunch/dinner schedule. i started feeling sorry for myself for a second...thinking that he was really living and i was so hum drum...but then the funniest thing happened: i felt my little, baby girl kick inside me and at that i smiled and thought...now, that's life!

F.S.M.

Colton came up with this title for me and I thought it pretty clever. Last night I found my thrill...and it's called my Favorite Summer Meal. I thought about taking a picture, because it seems that is the big bloggy thing to do when you blog about a meal, however I thought about it a little late...being as my plate was empty. :) It is always a good sign when you sit down to eat dinner with all 5 of us and it is quiet. This is what happened last night. Total silence!! I noticed it right away and looked around to see what the problem was and why I wasn't hearing all the complaints about the meal as usual. I was pleasantly surprised to find everyone chewing and shoveling and focused on their plates. I looked at chad, smiled, and dug in. Here was the menu and a meal that we will be enjoying on a weekly basis this summer:

Turkey Bacon and Light Mayo Sandwiches (I enjoyed 2 fat slices of tomato on mine!! no lettuce please.)

Peaches & Cream Corn on the Cobb

Tomato Slices w/ salt and pepper

Pink Lemonade

It hit the spot and everyone (including the kids) raved that it was the best meal ever and even said that I was the best "cooker" in the world. And everyone knows that's not true!!

Oh yeah...honorable mention goes to Aiden Annee-Grace, who ate 3 ears (is that how you spell that in the context of corn?) of corn. She was covered in butter from head to toe!! It was even in her hair. That... I should have taken a picture of.

we love our sons and daughter.......S!!

the much anticipated ultrasound was today and it's official. we are having another girl!! colton, chase and aiden are quite excited that another sister is on the way. aiden was sure it was a girl from the beginning. when i told her...she smiled and whispered, "i was right."

so...here is where you come in. we know what her name is and each have our favorite spelling...but thought it would be fun to take a vote. what is your favorite spelling of this little girl's name?

1. Ansley

2. Anslee

3. Anslie

4. Ansleigh

5. Anslye

6. Annsley

7. Annslee

8. Annslie

barrettes are for girls

we had a nice, little memorial day weekend. complete with a home improvement project (BOO!)
and swimming (YEAH!).

chad started things off on saturday with a little painting. i'm happy to say that i helped him by dusting the woodwork so that the tape would stick when he went to tape the room off. i used to think that i was good at such projects...the detail of the taping, the edging, the color picking outing...however i find myself getting edged right out of the situation. which is really fine by me because i H-A-T-E painting. being pregnant, i find, is a great excuse to not have to feel guilty about not being around to help. my job was to...like i said...dust the molding and clear everything out of the bathroom before chad got to it. (he had already prepared aiden's new, big girl room.) and i did just that. then...i took the kids to my parents to hang out there for the day in order to leave chad to his masterful work in peace. the smell is not good for me or the kids and the windows needed to be open upstairs. my rules...no windows open upstairs with kids in the house. and...no kids around paint.

he finished it in 1 day and i loved coming home to the finished product. well...almost finished. my jobs also include getting the rooms put back together.

today, we (i) made a picnic lunch and then we took the kids to the pool. they were loving this little outing. we (they) swam a while and then we ate lunch. after getting in the pool to cool off a little, chad and i were able to lounge and watch the kids play. during adult swim, all the kids get in the baby pool. this is where we could have potentially had a problem. chase, true to form was making friends with everyone there and we overheard him chatting with an older boy. i'd say he was about 10 or 11. i heard chase ask him what his name was. i did not hear the boy answer, but did hear chase respond with, "that's a girl name." now, i knew he was not meaning this to be rude...he was legitimately confused. the boy must have said, "what?" because chase repeated himself and i immediately called chad's attention to the potential issue. luckily, the kid just sorta shrugged and went on and luckily they called all swim...so he left the baby pool. i called chase over to us and he was very confused as to why he was being called down. we asked him what he said to the boy. he said..."i said that he had a girl name." chad said, "what was his name?" chase said, "bret." chad said, "that's a boy's name." chase said, "no it's not. it's what aiden wears in her hair. you know. barrette."

i was rolling. seriously stifling the laughter. chad said, "no chase...it's bret. and it's a boy's name." i said, "even if his name was kristen, don't tell an older and bigger kid that he has a girl's name." chase shrugged and said ok and trotted back to the pool. chad and i just looked at each other with big eyes and laughed some more. you really can't argue with his logic.

you spin me right round...

well...the minute i started thinking that i had not had a blog-worthy story in a while, chase comes to my rescue.

we have small group at our house every sunday night, starting at 5:30. my brother, kevin has been having 2-a-days ever since he was put on the fight card for a june fight and decided to take colton to train with him last night. colton had been wanting to go and last night was perfect for him to go watch because it was just kevin, one of his training partners and his coach. colton got to punch around on the bags, learn some techniques and watch kevin in action. however, that left chase and aiden to take care of themselves upstairs during group. normally, we set them up in the movie room and let colton "watch" them and it works out fine. why spend $25 every sunday night on a babysitter when colton can do it? well...chad and i wondered how it would go without colton (the responsible one) to keep an eye on the decision making of the younger ones, but figured we would give it a go. how much trouble could they really get into? this, i have now learned is never really the question...but only a matter of options. they could not be in the movie room because we had been cleaning out the guest bedroom, turning it into aiden's big girl room all day and it was full of holiday bins and gift wrap stuff. so, we put them in pj's, tucked them into the boy's beds and put a special movie on. i told them that they would get to get up after group was over, but to stay there for the movie. "okay," they said. at least i thought they said okay.

about 1/2 the way into group, i started having that mommy instinct that i should go check on them. i hadn't really heard anything...but just had that feeling. i made a mental note to do that at the next lull in the conversation only i heard both of them on the stairs before i had the chance. i met them half way up the stairs and aiden was holding a part of the ceiling fan chain in her hand. she informed me that chase had "broken the fan in his room". chase began explaining the "accident". he said, "i just wanted to hold onto the fan and spin around, but it broke and it was an accident." all the while, he was doing the full body motion of hanging from a ceiling fan while letting it spin him around in the air. i was somewhat in shock that he would actually try this, while also thinking, "why have i not addressed this as a no go before?" i should have known one of them would try it. luckily, when he jumped from his bed, he only grabbed the chains, and not the fan blades...which were spinning at the time. only the chains broke and not the entire fan. i guess the group had heard some of the commotion because when i walked back into the living room, they were just kind of looking at me. i calmly said, "yeah...we need colton to watch them. chase just tried to hang from his fan and spin around." most of the other moms looked at me with their mouths hanging open while the dad's said, "that's awesome!!"

i tossed the fan part to chad and said, "could you please go explain to your son why he can't spin from fans."