To Be(lieve) or not to Be(lieve)...That is the Question.

A couple of nights after Christmas, the dreaded question came. We were going through our nightly routine...brushing teeth; going potty; washing hands; getting the last sips of water for the evening; saying prayers; singing lullabies; kisses and snuggles; saying i love you's; and so forth. I walked out of the boy's room to go tuck Aiden into her bed, and Chad stayed behind for the last few "needs" that the boys had before they were content to fall asleep. That's when the question came. As Chad was walking out of the room, Colton said, "Dad?" Chad said, "What?" And Colton said, "Is Santa real?" I can't believe it. I am so sad. Some of the magic fanished with those words. Now, I understand that the real "magic" of Christmas is the Christ child and what He has done for us, but I loved the excitement of Santa Claus and what he represented for me and my brother as children. I loved looking up the chimney when we were young. I love leaving the milk and cookies on the fireplace hearth...feeling content that we had done our part so that Santa would not get hungry during his long night's trip. I loved the anticipation on Christmas Eve...knowing he was coming, and the not being able to fall asleep that night because we were so excited. I still love it. I love that I feel the same feeling when I see the wonder in my children. Chad replied with, "We will talk in the morning." Now usually, this answer would never suffice for Colton. But this night it did. Chad told me to have an answer prepared for him in the morning...and I did. Colton has not brought it up again though, and neither have we. I am hoping that the magic will captivate him a little longer...that he decided that he wasn't quite ready to let it go. We shall see. On the flip side...Chase decided that this year was the year that he and Santa become good friends. He could not stop singing about him, talking about him, wanting to go see him all season. This was the first year that he was not scared to sit on his lap. Chase had been practicing his request for days before the big trip to the mall. "Hi Santa. I want a Secret I.D. Batman and Bruce Wayne." I never thought to warn him that Santa would not present him with his toy that night at the mall. That took some explaining after I pulled Chase from his lap. Well, tonight, Chase couldn't go to sleep. So we let him get in our bed. Chad was in the living room watching TV, and I was in our bathroom getting ready for bed. The door was closed most of the way, and I heard Chase pick up the phone by our bed and start dialing. I walked out of the bathroom and over to him, bent down and said, "What are you doing Chase?" To that, Chase replied, "I'm calling Santa." I love the innocence. Of course Santa is at home, in the North Pole, sitting by the fireplace, in a rocking chair, by the phone, waiting to answer a phone call from his new buddy, Chase.

May Your Days be Merry and Bright

Colton-51/2; Chase-4; Aiden-191/2 months & Chad didn't get the "wear red" memo

Tis the season to be in love

"HO HO HO"

Santa with Dimples

Miss Claus

"I love my new haircut"

Visions of Sugarplums...

"Hello. Honey mad this poncho and my mommy wore it when she was little."

"I think Santa will like it...don't you?"

"It is a rare moment when all three of us will stand together and still for a picture."

Merry Christmas from Texas!!

my name is mindy clarkson, but you can call me charlie

this year's tv show of choice is A Charlie Brown Christmas. i think we've watched it 18 times at least. chase wakes up in the morning asking for it and goes to bed asking for it. he can repeat most of it, as can colton and they simultaneously laugh at all the same parts. they really love it when lucy asks shroeder (sp?) to play "jingle bells...you know...deck them halls and all that stuff." we own the video, however we get so excited when it comes on tv that we dvr it and act as if we have never seen it before...making cookies or popcorn and sitting on the floor together for the duration. i have decided this year that i can really relate to some of the characters in this flick...specifically charlie brown and lucy...on 2 accounts. for those of you who know me well...you will easily see what i mean.

ACCOUNT 1: YOU CAN CALL ME CHARLIE

LUCY: "May I help you?"

CHARLIE BROWN: "I feel depressed. I know I should be happy, but I'm not."

LUCY: "The mere fact that you realize you need help indicates that you are not too far gone. I think we better pinpoint your fears. If we can find out what you're afraid of, we can label it. Are you afraid of responsibility? If you are, then you have hightengeophobia."

CHARLIE BROWN: "I don't think that's quite it."

LUCY: "How about cats? If you're afraid of cats, you have anoraphasia."

CHARLIE BROWN: "Well...sort of, but I'm not sure."

LUCY: "Are you afraid of staircases? If you are then you have climbacaphobia. Maybe you have phalaciphobia. This is the fear of the ocean. Or, chepharobia; this is the fear of crossing bridges. Or, maybe you have pantephobia. Do YOU think you have pantephobia?"

CHARLIE BROWN: "What is pantephobia?"

LUCY: "The fear of everything."

CHARLIE BROWN: "THAT"S IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

ACCOUNT 2: YOU CAN CALL ME LUCY

LUCY (after being licked by snoopy): "UGG...I'VE BEEN KISSED BY A DOG...I HAVE DOG GERMS...GET SOME HOT WATER...GET SOME DISINFECTANT...GET SOME IODINE!!!!"

well, that is how i feel that i relate to A Charlie Brown Christmas. let's see, we have 6 more days until Christmas...i bet we'll watch it about 16 more times. i'll try to keep track and keep you posted. there is redeeming value in this show. we've learned some good lessons this year from linus. he does make sure everyone knows what Christmas is all about. and like linus, i do think chase has decided to make his blue "blankie" into a sportcoat.

The Most Important Night

Tonight was the most important night in Colton's life. At dinner, we explained to Colton, Chase and Aiden that we were going to have a birthday party for Jesus on Christmas Eve. I was telling them that we were going to make a birthday cake for Jesus...(I'm fairly certain they will decide on a superman birthday cake)...and that instead of bringing wrapped toys for Jesus as his gift, that we are going to answer a question for his birthday present instead. The question is, "What are you willing to give Jesus this year?" Colton, who was wearing the batman costume...mask and all...thought for a minute and said, "I know what a good thing to give him would be...we could give him our hearts." At that, I melted. I told him that he had a very good idea and we talked further about what it meant to give Jesus our hearts. We told him that Chad and I had already given Jesus our hearts but that we were praying that he, Chase and Aiden would too. He asked several questions and also made several statements that let Chad and I know that he knew more about it than we thought. He talked about God being Jesus' father and that he knew that God was his father too. He said that he had two fathers. We talked about how it is even more important to follow his Heavenly father than it is for him to follow his dad. Then I saw him begin to cry. I saw his chin quiver and he wiped his eyes through the batman eye holes. He said that he was scared to go in the water and go under the water backwards. I got up and went over to hug him and explained that he did not have to go in the water in order to give Jesus his heart. I could feel the relief in him. He lifted his mask and his body relaxed as he wiped his eyes. About 5 minutes had gone by and the subject had been changed...(by Chase, I think)...and Colton said, "I have a secret that I will tell you and Dad on Christmas. Or I can tell you now." I asked him if he wanted to tell us now or wait until Christmas and he said, "It's your choice." I said, "Tell us now." He said that he would whisper it in my ear. I leaned over the table and he whispered the most beautiful words..."I want to do that tonight. I want to give Jesus my heart." We prayed together and tonight Colton gave his heart to Jesus for his birthday. I don't think Jesus would have wanted anything more.

Just the Goings On

well, i don't really have any great stories or funny antecdotes today. i just thought it was time to blog again and thought i would let everyone in on the goings on at the clarkson home. i just took chase to school and then came home to put aiden down for her nap. some days, when i take chase to school at noon, colton's class is out on the playground for recess. the door that i drop chase off at is right next to the playground, so he gets very excited on the days that we drive up and see colton's class out there. he always wants to jump out and run to say hi to colton. usually colton and some of his friends come over to the gate to say hi to us, but today he pulled this "run by the gate and pretend not to see us" act. now, this is fine with me because i understand his need to be silly and and act grown up...and most of the time he is really sweet and gives chase hugs through the gate, but poor chase did not understand why his big brother could not see him. there he was, clenching the gate while standing on his tippy toes to see over it yelling, "colton...here i am...colton...i'm over here." then chase looked up at me with question in his eyes and my heart broke for him. i just grabbed his hand and said, "look at colton being so silly. he is pretending he does not see us." we told his friends, who did see us, bye and walked back to chase's door. finally, colton yelled from the gate "hi" to chase. so all is well with the brothers again. tomorrow is "polar express day" at the school and all the kids get to wear pajamas to school and they are watching the polar express. chase and colton are very excited to wear their pj's to school. they have matching ones that i happen to find on sale. i was just going to have them wear their christmas pajamas from last year, but colton's didn't fit him anymore. so then i was going to have chase wear colton's old ones, and i went to get colton some for this year. they did not have any at gap or the children's place that i liked, so i reluctantly went in to gymboree, where i usually don't buy anything because it is too expensive. i saw 2 pair of plaid pj's...the big boy kind with the button down top and matching pants...hanging on the clearance rack. why they had christmas pj's on the clearance rack, i don't know. my thought was, there is no way one of these will be a size 6. i looked at the first pair and it was a 4 (chase's size). then i looked at the second pair and it was a 6! yea! so i grabbed the 6 and went to the register, and they rang up even cheaper than they were marked...only $16. so, i figured that this was an obvious sign that i was supposed to by the 4 for chase as well. so i did. and boy are these boys cute in their christmas, plaid, big boy, polar express pajamas. the only problem is that they are a tad big in the waist. after i finish this, i am going to break out the needle and thread and try to sew a little tuck in the waist so they will be a perfect fit for school tomorrow. maybe aiden and i will wear our pajamas all day tomorrow too. i vote that chad wear his pajamas to his all day meeting tomorrow in celebration of polar express day at bauerschlag elememtary. who's with me?