Friday, August 31, 2007

WHY?

my questions for the day...

why do i hate taking out the trash so much?

why can i get the laundry folded...but not put away?

why do i love to watch cooking shows...but hate to cook?

why do i love to buy cereal...but never eat it?

why does aiden copy everything chase does, even thought she and colton are most alike?

why do people who long to have children, can't have them sometimes...while people who don't want them get pregnant?

if God knows that a woman is going to have a miscarriage...often even before she knows she's pregnant, why does he create the life in the first place?

why didn't i think of using paper plates for lunch sooner?

why...no matter how early i go to bed at night...do i still not want to wake up in the morning?

why do i love hannah montana so much?

why does aiden, all of a sudden, not want to go to bed at night?

why can i not seem to get through the entire bible?

why do i sometimes really care what people think...yet sometimes not give a rip?

why do we have nightmares?

why does my cell phone seem possessed at times?

why did we find over 30 scorpians in our house in south carolina...even though the exterminator said that they don't live in clusters, but alone? and...none of our neighbors had them either.

why do i sometimes feel queesy for no reason?

why do i not want to let colton ride the bus home from school...and instead take aiden and chase with me and wait in the car ride line for an hour every afternoon to pick him up?

why do i have such a hard time with electronics?

why do new kids on the block get made fun of...yet the backstreet boys, and n'sync usually don't?

basically...at this point, i'm not out of whys...but out of time.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

If You Feel Lost...

o.k. people. this is one of my new favorite worship songs. i heard it at ecclesia in the woodlands for the first time. robbie seay happen to be leading worship the day i was there and they did this song. it is so beautiful and the words so perfect for so many of us in so many day to day situations. a friend sent it to me and i quickly copied it to my mp3 and have been listening to it ever since. I LOVE IT. very simple...and yet says it all. here are the lyrics...

SHINE YOUR LIGHT ON US (robbie seay band)

oh my God, shine your light on us;
that we might live.
oh my God, shine your light on us;
that we might live.

i've been holding on.
and i've been holding on.
all that is inside me;
screams to come back home.

and if you feel lost;
if you feel lost;
sing along.
and if you feel tired;
if you feel tired;
sing along.
and if you feel lost and tired;
this is your song.

and i've been broken down;
and i've been broken down.
but i aint givin up;
love will come back around.

and if you feel lost;
if you feel lost;
sing along.
and if you feel tired;
if you feel tired;
sing along.
and if you feel lost and tired;
this is your song.
yeah...
if you feel lost and tired;
this is your song.

oh my God
shine your light on us;
that we might live.
and oh my God
shine your light on us;
that we might live.

if you feel lost;
if you feel lost;
sing along.
and if you feel tired;
if you feel tired;
sing along.
oh...if you feel lost and tired;
this is your song.

shine your light;
shine it down;
like a rescue;
come for us;
we long to love.
shine your light;
shine it down;
like a rescue;
come for us now.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

WHO'S EXCITED?

o.k. so who's excited about fall television starting up again? i'll tell you who. ME!!!!!!!! i have seriously been going through withdrawal, i think. i miss grey's anatomy; the bachelor (don't start with me...); LOST; what about brian; and don't even get me started about how excited i am about the grey's anatomy spin-off, private practice, that is going to be starting this fall. i am also looking forward to the start of survivor...but i didn't really watch the last season. so we will see if i am able to get into this one. oh...and chad and i do enjoy watching house together. so...i have barely watched any t.v. this summer and it will be a shock to our dvr come september. i'll have to dust her off and put her back in business. too many shows...too little time. we shall see.

on another note...colton starts 1st grade on monday. we get to go meet his teacher this friday. we won't find out who he has or who is in his class until then. he seems to be excited about his return to school and i am not nearly as big a basket case as i was this time last year...him starting kindergarten and all. we don't need to discuss how close i came to having an emotional breakdown at "meet the teacher" last year. nor do we need to re-hash how many tears were shed prior to dropping him off that first day of school. aaannnnddd...we won't even begin to re-visit the number of pictures that were taken. i can probably chronicle that "right of passage" walk from the parking lot to the class room with one of those, flip the pictures real fast and make a movie thing. not this year. i'm low key. layed-back. doing swell. not having a bit of trouble with my first born already being in 1st grade. not picturing his wedding day when he is going to leave me for some girl and never even call or write and spend all his thanksgivings and christmases with her family because he's forgotten all about me. and i'm definitely not thinking about this being chase's last year at home with me because he is going to make that "right of passage" walk into kindergarten this time next year. no siree. i'm great. not a problem what so ever. who's excited? i know i am.

well (sniffle and wipe a tear)...i think i'm going to go talk to chad about how great i'm doing. later.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

my little traveler

i was sitting with someone...i can't remember who now...(that should tell you how my mental status is these days)...and we were talking about where we have been in europe. you know...since i am the world traveler now. :) anyhow, they were talking about all the places they had been, (and at this point i really wish i could remember who this was), and i was talking about where i had been now. colton, chase, and aiden were sitting at the kitchen table with us. i realized that colton was listening when he perked up, raised his eyebrows, and as a matter of factly stated, "well...i've been to iowa multiple times!!!!"

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Back on U.S. Soil

I could have actually kissed the ground when we landed at Houson's Intercontinental Airport 2 days ago. I've been home for exactly 42 hours and 20 minutes. I've slept about 28 of those hours. Needless to say...I've had a bit of a time re-acclamating to my life. I thought missions in Ukraine would seem foreign. But what is foreign is life here without a team and a purpose everyday after being used to living everyday on a tangible mission. It's like I don't know what to do. Do I clean? Do I do laundry? Do I go grocery shopping? Do I play with the kids? Do I go to their baseball games? Do I go hang out with friends? Do I sleep? Do I stay awake? Do I drink ice water? Do I eat? I know that probably sounds weird...but it is how I have felt since I got home. I never am sure what I am supposed to be doing. Part of my mind and heart were left in Ukraine with the homeless boy and old lady and new friend and students we taught english and bible to everyday. Not that it is not good to be home. It is. I missed my family more than I can put in to words. BUT...I learned some things. One of which is that my family is going to live on mission together. My children will intimately know beyond their own circumstances. They will know their main purpose in life. They will learn to spread the word and love of our creator...or God...our Father. They will not be obsessed with themselves and their own desires...unless they are the desires of Christ. I'm not all together sure how we are going to achieve all of these lofty goals, but at least they are my goals now. Instead of the latest sport all their friends are playing and making sure they have the cutest clothes to start school. I'm speaking to myself here, because the worst thing I could do is forget the people we taught in Ukraine and more importantly...the mission the people in Ukraine taught me.

More to come...with pictures.