Thursday, January 29, 2009


houston...we have a problem. i'm unsure of exactly what the problem is, but i am not the happiest of campers presently. now, i used to be a pretty upbeat person. positive. smiley. happy-go-lucky. all in all, pretty pleasant to be around (if i do say so myself). however lately, things that i used to let roll right of my skinny little shoulders are evoking this "ahhhhh you di-ant...wag my finger in your face" kind of response. i have absolutely no problem and even enjoy a little bit being the big "B" word. i have no patience or tolerance for any shenanigans. what to do? what to do? i can bathe myself in the WORD, spending my time letting God's very breath turn my frown upside down; i could take every negative thought captive...whatever that means; i could take up yoga and meditation, which seems to be the answer for all the hollywood happys; i could turn out the lights and hide under my covers, which does sound tempting; i could call a friend and gripe; i could suck it up and just keep swimming, which worked for dori and nemo; i could worry that i am now comparing myself to 2 cartoon fish. get my drift. i guess what i will do is write down my irritations, and then hopefully be able to let them go.

1. after the second cup of coffee...i may...MAY be ready to go to the grocery store. i absolutely HATE going to the grocery store. and, i have no idea why i hate it so much. in my perfect world, we would not have to eat to live. it's just a big pain in the butt. shopping for the food; finding room on the shelves to store the food; preparing the food; acting like circus clowns to try and persuade the kids to eat the food; cleaning up the food; realizing that people die of starvation because they can't even afford food, while we have 87 thousand cereal choices...all just seeming very...well...irritating.

2. i wish people would not make comments that are neither helpful or redeeming and then hide behind "just kidding". if you think it...and feel the need to say it...then at least stand behind it.

3. i wish that the people signing off on partial birth abortions being legalized would actually sit in a room and watch one being performed from start to finish and then make a decision based on education and explain to all people what actually happens and why it should be ok.

4. i wish that people would stop using their facebook status' to insult people, passive-aggressively. i notice this quite frequently...being that they are splattered everywhere...even if you don't care to see them.

5. i wish that a dear friend would have not been hurt by an old picture that was also splattered all over facebook, without her knowledge or consent. (maybe i wish i had never signed up for facebook...the jury is still out on that one.)

6. i wish that Texas would pick a season and stick with it. hot, cold, warm, cool, snow, beach weather. i need my own meteorologist stationed on my roof.

7. i wish that i didn't have to raise my voice to be heard.

8. i wish that people who are totally and unselfishly giving of themselves to help other people who are in need would stop being criticized and talked about.

9. i wish i would quit being talked about.

10. i wish that people in this town realized that 8 year old little leaguers did not need to be practicing until 9:30 on a week night...twice.

ok. i'm done.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

ready, set...PLAY!

colton had another birthday. that means he is 8...which means he is my favorite number...which means he is getting older quickly...which means they all are getting older quickly...which means i am getting older quickly...which means i am not happy. with any of it.

this year, colt did not know what kind of birthday party he wanted. which is weird, because he normally has it planned several months in advance. this year, to help him decide, we asked him what his favorite thing to do is. he answered, rather quickly, "VIDEO GAMES!!" so, that began the brain storming, planning and organizing of the video game party. chad and i both agree that this themed party is not for the faint at heart. it was easily the most exhausting birthday party we've thrown yet. and there were only 7 kids. was inside. was all boys. and involved wii. here is how it went.

we decided that he would only invite the boys this year. that was a first. then, we decided that it would be on friday night instead of during the day on saturday. far, so good. we then decided that we would have pizza. you can pop in and pick up a large pepperoni or a large cheese for $5 at little caesar' it was worth it to not cook. going along with the "everything boy" theme, we got IBC root beer so that the kids could use the old timey bottle opener on our wall. (the fact that these are twist off tops was on a need to know basis...) this ended up being one of the highlights for these boys. in fact...they would not even finish 1 root beer before thinking they need to pop the top off the next one. the cake was a 9x13 sheet cake that we turned in to a wii remote with the help of peppermints, blue bubble tape, marshmallow ropes, and lots of white icing. the favors were guitar hero stocking hats that chad found on clearance at best buy, mario cart candy, and nintendo game cube candy.

we had 3 stations set up. 1 wii in the living room for bowling; 1 wii, hooked up to a projector in the dining room for mario cart; and the playstation in the kitchen area for nascar thunder. the kids drew numbers for their starting slot, and then rotated around so that each kid got to play each game, changing partners each time. there was, at least 1 adult at each station recording points to determine the winner. i kept the score sheet and the adult at each station gave me each kid's score at the end of the rotation. i also secretly walked around and judged the kids on sportsmanship. they did not know that they were getting judged on this...which turned out to be a great lesson in the end. the little boy who won for sportsmanship (and it wasn't either of my two) was so proud and you could tell the other boys thought twice about their behavior. all-in-all...i think they had a lot of fun. well...i know colton did, anyway.

side note...(and this story happened exactly the way i am telling it to you)...during the day, when we were setting up the gaming stations, chad came through the backdoor carrying this huge screen computer monitor that i assumed he had borrowed from the church, along with the projector. i asked, "what is that?" to which chad replied, "a computer monitor." i said, "where did you get it?" and chad calmly stated, "i found it hidden in the bushes."

Monday, January 12, 2009


i finally let go of my very legitimate fear of a book and started THE SHACK, knowing full-well that if i started it, i would have to finish it...regardless of how hard it was to face emotions that i was content to leave in the pit of my stomach. i don't like anything that makes me go back to that fear...whether it be a common cold or a story like this one. but, i won't go there. none the less...i found some of the conversations between the leading character and God to be somewhat comforting. there were many times that i felt like i wished the words to be true. then again, maybe they are.


"You're talking about the church as this woman you're in love with; I'm pretty sure I haven't met her. She's not the place I go on Sundays." -Mack

"I know that your heart is full of pain and anger and a lot of confusion. Together, you and I, we'll get around to some of that while you're here. But I also want you to know that there is more going on than you could imagine or understand, even if I told you. As much as you are able, rest in what trust you have in me, no matter how small, okay?"

"The real underlying flaw in your life is that you don't think that I am good. If you knew I was good and that everything-the means, the ends, and all the proccesses of individual lives-is all covered by my goodness, then while you might not always understand what I am doing, you would trust me. But you don't."

So why do I have so much fear in my life asked Mack. "Because you don't believe. You don't know that we love you. The person who lives by their fears will not find any freedom in my love. I am not talking about fears regarding legitimate dangers, but imagined fears, and especially the projections of those fears into the future. To the degree that those fears have a place in your life, you neither believe I am good not know deep in your heart that I love you. You sing about it; you talk about it, but you don't know it."

"The darkness hides the true size of fears and lies and regrets, Jesus explained. The truth is they are more shadow than reality, so they seem bigger in the dark. When the light shines into the places they live inside you, you start to see them for what they are."

"An awful lot of what is done in my name has nothing to do with me and is often, even if unintentional, very contrary to my purposes."

"It's extremely hard to rescue someone unless they are willing to trust you."

"Let me show you. Just keep giving me the little bit you have, and together we'll watch it grow."

"But I always liked Jesus better than you. He seemed so gracious and you seemed so........mean."

"Lies are one of the easiest places for survivors to run. It gives you a sense of safety, a place where you only have to depend on yourself. But it's a dark place, isn't it?"

"Give a man an inch and he thinks he's a ruler."