Saturday, November 06, 2010


as i waited tonight, in what would soon be his room...i couldn't help but be anxious to see him again.  he was being moved from one hospital to another.  

i find my thoughts these days turning into daydreams about the next lucid moments that i will get with him. with a family at home, i covet the evening hours when i can go for a visit...and although i'm not traveling to grandpa's house in duncanville, like i remember so vividly as a kid...and the activities and dynamics of the visit have certainly shifted, the excitement of talking to him remains the same.  sometimes, he sleeps most of the time.  sometimes i can't understand what he is trying to say.  but, sometimes...when i get lucky, he shows up.  when he sees me, i always say the same thing..."hi grandpa."  he always responds with, "well...hi."  and we have great conversations.  sometimes he will want me to pray with him.  sometimes he will need a reminder that he still has a purpose here.  sometimes he makes his jokes, and i laugh and watch him laugh.  and last night, we talk about old times...when he was in a band and played the heck out of his guitar and had gigs at different places.  we talked about my favorite songs to listen to him play...folsom prison blues, and i'll fly away.  he would always let me sing along.  and i would always make him re-teach me how to play my favorite guitar parts.  he even sang some of folsom prison for me last night.  he didn't miss a note and he told me that when he would see a guitar on a stand, he couldn't stand just to look at it...he had to play it.  i always tell him i love him, and he always says in his most soft and gentle voice that is almost too weak to be able to hear anymore, "well...i love you too, hon." 

tonight, when he finally got there...he was tired and confused.  i know he needed to sleep, but i was longing for those moments...the ones that i will tuck away and carry with me when he is no longer here.  the ones that will bring comfort when it's time to say goodbye.  i need those moments...when it's him, and me, and a memory.  i want to remind him of how he used to make funny noises in my ear and how it tickled and made me giggle.  i want to tell him that i do it for my kids and they giggle and squirm too, and i always tell them that it is what grandpa did when i was a little girl.  and how they always say, "do it again" just like i did.  i'm already daydreaming of my next conversation with him. 

grandpa......tell me a story.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Awwww Mindy. I can totally relate. Been there. Precious are these days. Hold tight and know that when God is ready for him he will not go alone. I remember the exact moment like it was yesterday. Call me anytime. Hugs, Sarah Wyatt