Friday, February 15, 2013

it's only a weekend.

this oldest son left for church camp.  we have had such a busy week...preparing for 14 gillion valentine's parties this week that it sorta snuck up on me.

around noon...i read over the list of things he needed to pack.  soooooo....maybe i'm a procrastinator.

 it wasn't until then that i realized i was nervous about this whole deal.  and i questioned why?  am i nervous about him going alone?  not really.  am i nervous about the bus ride?  that's not quite it either.  am i nervous about what is happening at camp?  no.  

so...then what?

 oh yeah...he's old enough to do this without me needing to be nervous.  that's what this anxious/excited/a little bit sad feeling is about.

i love the relationship of brothers.  don't get me wrong.  it's amazing.


there is something...


...that i can't really put into words...

about watching an older brother with his sisters.

that relationship never fails to cause me to do a small gasp...and cause my blink to stay closed a little longer...and a half smile to sweep across my face while i marvel at this gift i've been entrusted with.  


as we were pulling last minute things flashlights and sleeping bags...i thought about a note.  i had to hide a note in his bag...just like i used to hide in his lunch kit when he was little.

and as i was writing...i thought...

"i need to leave a sticky note in his sack lunch too.  just so he knows how much we love him while he's on the bus.  i mean...he won't get this card until he unzips his bag."

i headed to the kitchen...and that's when i saw his sister...ripping a stick-it-note off it's pad and dropping it into his sack. 

sister had my back.

and that was sufficient.

and after he pulled away...there we were.

and i had visions of a teenager and a  9 year old sister...waving bye to their college bound brother.

and then i was thankful.

that i have them.

and that this time...

it's only for a weekend.

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