It's 2:54 in the afternoon. They left a little over 2 hours ago...and I am already feeling a small ache...missing those 2 boys. Colton took my place on the Kenya trip...and how my boy is old enough for a trip like that escapes me. He just called from the airport...and I brought up all sorts of random things to talk about, lingering over topics like what he ate for lunch and how his littlest sister can't find her earphones...even though she looked in her hello kitty box in her room, just to be able to keep hearing his voice.
Yesterday, we spent the day shopping for the things that he and Chad needed for the trip. We hit all sorts of stores...discussing what kinds of stickers and bubbles and soccer balls the kids in Kenya would most like. They can't wear jeans over there...so we had to get Colt some light weight khakis. We decided to go as a family...and lectured the kids in great detail about what their behavior needed to be in the stores. We had an unfortunate experience in Academy a few nights back that resulted in leaving a basket in the middle of the boy's athletic clothes and heading home...due to a fight that broke out over who pushed the cart. Chad had had enough. (I gave him a break and agreed to come back alone. He's an amateur when it comes to shopping with all 4 kids. Well...shopping, in general.) So...after some serious warnings...we tried again. This time we went to Sun and Ski Sports to see if we could find some of the clothing items they needed. I'm fairly certain that our pictures are on the wall in the employee break room in Academy under a "Don't let these people on the premises" sign. Things were going fairly smoothly until Annslee disappeared from the dressing rooms. I quickly located her sitting in a kayak...that was up on a display shelf in the middle of the store. I asked her if she really thought that was a good idea. I'm pretty sure she did.
Chase was so busy playing mine craft that he barely looked up from his itouch. When we stopped for lunch...Chad made mention of the Africa trip (for the billionth time over the last several months) and Chase looked up, interested for the first time in the subject and says,
"Colton's going to Africa???? Can I have his room?"
Today marked (what would be) the 12th week of the pregnancy. When I realized that, I allowed myself to think about what this week could have been like. I would have had the 12 week ultrasound with the high risk doctor...where we would have found out if the baby was a boy or a girl. I allowed myself to wonder which it was. I allowed myself to remember what that excitement felt like...and feel sad that this week won't hold any of that. I wondered if I would have told Chad whether we were having another son or another daughter via e-mail...or if I would have waited until he got back. I decided that I would have probably told him on Sunday...Father's Day. I would have found a way to let him know...and I would have let him tell Colton.
Already being a little emotional made saying goodbye a little harder, I think. But also a little sweeter.
I think she feels the way I feel: like looking down. and not smiling.
Now I just have to find a way to fill my time until around 2 am. That's when I made them promise to call me from London during their lay over. I wonder if Colt will be in the mood to discuss pleasantries, like whether he enjoyed the peanuts or the pretzels more and what they offered for dinner on the plane and whether or not Chad is using appropriate amounts of hand gel, just so I can keep listening to his voice?