Wednesdays with Honey

when i think about my childhood...some of my greatest memories involve honey.  she sewed my dresses...from my very first christmas dress to my senior year christmas dance dress.  she was always present.  she was at every birthday, every thanksgiving, every christmas, school plays, church plays, and would come for weekend visits from beaumont.  we would travel through the baytown tunnel to visit her beaumont house on a regular basis too.  there is one vivid memory that is still etched in my memory, as if it was felt, just yesterday.  when it was time for her to leave to go home...i always begged her to stay.

i remember when it was both honey and paw paw that i was begging to stay longer.  paw paw died when i was only 7 years old.  he was a lover of life and a lover of people.  he was a carpenter.  and he loved honey and my mother with everything he had.  and when my brother and i came along...well...we might as well have hung the moon in the night sky.  i missed him dearly as a child.  and even now...when i think about what his relationship with honey, my mother, me and my brother, and my children would be like if he was still here...i feel sadness.  he would have been the one to bring chad out of his shell...i'm sure of it.  he would have been the life of the party.  he would have taught kevin everything he knew about tools and wood.  he would have helped kevin build his patio roof and laugh with happiness and pride at the way his grandson used a hammer.  he would have cuddled my babies and woken them from their naps upon entering the house because he just couldn't stand one more minute of waiting to hold them.  after he died...honey took on the role of grandparent alone.  and she did a great job.

every other wednesday, i drop annslee off at my parents house and make the drive to honey's house.  some days we clean her house.  some days we organize cabinets.  some days i take her grocery shopping...and some days she takes me out to eat.  two weeks ago, we pulled out all of her christmas decorations and decorated the house for christmas.  she told me stories of christmases past and tales of where the special decorations came from, and we laughed and marveled at what twinkly lights can do for a manger scene.  i do things like change the clock batteries that are out of her reach...making sure the time is changed for daylight savings.  mainly i tell her things that are on my heart...desires...fears...thoughts...and ideas, and then i listen.  i listen to her stories and her morsels of wisdom and encouragement.

i'm a better person...a better woman...because of honey.

we are all better.

and let's face it...

she can rock a pair of aviators.

yesterday...when i got to her house, the were freshly baked chocolate chip cookies waiting for me.

we sat at the kitchen table, had cookies and coffee, talked and marveled proudly at her old recipe cards and the recipe book that she was given upon marrying my paw paw.

i ran my fingers over the tattered pages and lingered over her hand written notes.

i asked her what she used to make for dinners for her family and asked her how she had the energy to come home from her job and prepare home made dinners.  she told me about getting up early to make biscuits from scratch...using the top of a drinking glass to cut out the perfect sized circles, fried eggs, and fresh bacon.  every morning.

i wonder what my paw paw would think if he knew that chad got his own breakfast every morning...and that most mornings...the kids eat cold cereal.

i thought about what chad and the kids would think if i got up at 5 to make them a breakfast like honey's every morning.

i thought about how, as home makers...i truly believe that many of us have gotten lazy...and that we don't take our job seriously enough.  after all...it is one of the most important and rewarding jobs on the planet.

i roll my eyes at laundry...yet i don't iron a stitch.  i complain about dirty dishes in the sink...yet i have an automatic dishwasher.  i complain about the kid's toys being all over the place...yet i am getting ready to buy them more in a month.  i complain about not having time...yet i surf facebook, pinterest, and read blogs and tweets every day.  i complain about cooking...yet i have a microwave and box prepared or frozen dinners and waffles out of a box.  i complain that i need some new clothes...yet i spend the first whole half of the day in pj pants or sweats and i'm certainly not sewing them all myself.  i complain about my hair...but with our laziness...it is perfectly acceptable to go out of the house with it in a bird's nest bun on the top of my head or a baseball hat to cover the nappiness.  i'm not sure what i think about all of this.

what i do know...is that my wednesdays with honey...make me want to be better.

i don't know that i will be busting out any homemade pie crusts in the next week or anything...but i am going to be grateful for my job today.  and i am going to spend my time wisely and take it seriously.  i am going to set the buzzer to "on" on the washer and drier because, by golly...i need to get those suckers out of there and not let them sour by forgetting about them.  the bathrooms are going to be cleaned and the clutter picked up.  the kids are going to help and do their parts...while talking respectfully to me and each other.  dinner will be prepared with love and a homemade recipe will be found for thanksgiving. i will make something with my hands...a first step in learning to sew (even if it is just getting that silly button sewn on after several months of sitting on my "to do" list.  and best of all...the children will be kissed and loved and celebrated...and they will not catch my eyes on any kind of screen instead of their beautiful faces.

 i love my job.  it's time that i take a little more pride in my work.

i learned that from honey.

Norman Rockwell we are NOT

Friday, I took a much needed day off to partake in the annual tradition of the Nutcracker Market that is held downtown.  Every year...my mother, my grandmother and I go.  It has become my favorite way to kick off the Holiday Season every year.  It is always the same weekend in November and I get a lot of Christmas shopping done.  There are vendors that come from all over the place and you can find some really unique things, from food...to clothes...to home decor...to doll clothes...to flasks...

the list goes on and on.

and yes...

I did buy my brother-in-law a flask for Christmas this year.

I really, really wish we had been taking pictures every year.  However...this is my first year that I have had a phone that would take a good picture and we never thought to bring a camera before.

I fell in love, love, love with this little number for the girls.

Too bad it was $130.

The tulle used for the ruffled skirt was so soft...and the color was perfect.

I have an appreciation for activities were it is socially acceptable to have things like mimosas, champagne, bloody marys, and the like, before noon.

I don't usually find myself in those situations...

but this year, I decided to join right on in.

That was quite possibly the most spicy thing I have every ingested.  And if I ever decide to have another bloody mary in my lifetime...I will ask them to hold the tabasco, please.

You live and you learn these things.

Annslee decided to use the syrup on her plate for a craft experiment Sunday morning.  After throwing all of her syrup covered waffles on the floor...she used the left over pool on her plate to smear in her hair and all over her face and body.

I just kept hearing her say "tiiiiicky...tiiiiiicky...tiiiiicky" from the other side of the room.  I was knee deep in dog poop clean-up at the time.

When it finally dawned on me what she was saying...I busted on over there to see what she was talking about.  I knew it couldn't be good.

I found her sticking her hands to her hair and her face and laughing at the way they peeled away in stickiness.

I was none-too-thrilled with her as I cleaned up the floor first.

Then I carried her...faced out...to the tub.

I put her down to run the bath water and told her to stand still and not touch ANYTHING until I could peel her clothes off of her.

I turned around for 2 seconds to start the water and that's when the cat (that the kids let in the backdoor) must have snuck into the bathroom.  Because when I turned around...that kitty was in her arms...hugged tight to her body.

Now, I'm not kidding when I say that cat was "stuck" to her.

I had to pry the thing out of her sticky grip...causing the fur to come off onto her hands and body.

So...Annslee is now in the tub, and the cat is walking around the bathroom with it's hair gelled straight up with syrup.

I had no choice but to get Annslee bathed and out and the cat in.

I  could tell you what a cat covered in syrup in a bathtub is like...

but you can probably guess.

That's when I realized that I have no business owning pets.

I try so hard to be a good pet owner.  I love animals and I long to be all Cinderella-ish and have birds land on my fingers and chirp me sweet nothings about how lovely and  graceful and gentle I am.  I picture the dog, laying peacefully in front of the crackling fireplace, and the fat, fluffy cat sitting in the window...straight out of a Norman Rockwell picture.

But...instead...I have dogs jumping in, what was supposed to be, MY bubble bath...splashing water all over the place...drinking and puking up bubbles...and pooping on the floor because we are all so sick of his barking that we can't distinguish between barking to be irritating and barking to go out...

and cats (that aren't even mine) covered in syrup.

Our mornings look like a, literal three ring circus.

The kitty meows...incessantly...at the backdoor.

Then Annslee starts throwing a tantrum that will.not.stop because she wants the kitty.

So...in order to get some peace and quiet...I finally give in and let the kitty in.

That causes Trout to go bat-$*!% crazy, running around...barking...jumping all over the place...

which, in turn,  causes the cat to hiss and swat and scatter under a piece of furniture just out of reach.

Then Annslee starts crying again because the she can't hold the kitty.

So...then it's everyone crying, barking and hissing

and me slowly losing my patience and calculating who to yell "be quiet" at first.

This house is anything BUT Norman Rockwell, these days.

i'll take some peace on earth, please.

you know those days...were you step foot out of the bed and before an entire hour has passed...you feel like you have been awake for 2 days straight and have tackled enough messes to last those 2 days...and then some?

well...this has been the story of my sunday morning up until this point.  i think God may have been sending me a little message in response to my deciding to skip church this morning.  but i had a good excuse!  ah...who am i kidding?  it wasn't all that great.  and if we had just gone...it would have saved me a truck load of hassles.  tune in next time for the story of a peaceful sunday morning going all renegade on me...complete with a dog, a baby, a kitten, and a lot of syrup.

it was a hot mess.

****

on another note...the verdict is in.  chad has said we are not keeping the cat.  and it's just as well...however i think we can all see the problem.

the littlest sister will not take no for an answer and finds a way to let that cat in the house all. the. time.

she's small...but she's got tenacity.  she will trick her brothers into opening the back door for her, or sweet smile her dad into letting the meowing kitten in for a visit, or get aiden on the case.

and that cat's not stupid.  he knows that if he hangs out on the back patio long enough...he'll eventually be let in.  and fed.

so...there it is.

yep...that's my good blanket.

we took a break the other night to go look at the moon.

and then we were right back where we started.

i just don't know what to do about it.

so in the mean time...they will just keep on beggin...

just look at that hair, will you?  she had a hay day with the small piggy and bow that was perfectly in place when i put her down for her nap.

that's what i get for thinking she will forget about it and not pull it out as soon as she gets the chance.

that girl doesn't forget about anything.

the weather finally cooperated and we had the frog's funeral last night.

our little friend from across the street came and paid her respects.

chad memorized and recited the eulogy that chase had prepared.

chase said a few last words.

aiden threw some popcorn on the grave for woody as a final gesture to close the service.

(why we had bowls of popcorn at the funeral like it was movie entertainment...i still don't know?)

and then clickidy cat showed up and chase went all lion king on us as we marveled at the circle of life.

one frog leaves this earth...one kitten surfaces.

rest in peace together, buzz and woody.

****

we've been busy elves this weekend...decorating the house for christmas.

here is a sneak peak...

and my view from my computer.

yeah...it makes the...shall we say..."stickiness" from this morning fade into a distant memory, replaced by the promise and hope of a magical sunday afternoon.

here's to peace on earth...

our house included.

chad vs. mindy...head vs. heart

so... you know how you're not supposed to "drunk-text?"  well...i'm pretty sure that applies to blogging as well.  but...alas, here i am...willing to pour out my heart just because i poured a small glass of wine.

ok.

so i guess...that doesn't classify this as a "drunk" post.  but a "timpsy" one? 

well...probably not even that. 

but...

i am in a good "pondering" mood.

why do relationships have to be so hard?  i mean...if you ask yourself, "are things supposed to be like they are in the movies?"...you would totally say no.

but then, "are things supposed to be like they are on a bad episode of keeping up with the kardashians?"  again...no.

so...what are things really supposed to be like?

chad and i have come to an impass, of sorts.  we are two creatures of very different habits and are cut from two entirely different molds.

he thinks.

i feel.

i know what you're thinking.  this is the way most husbands and wives are.  the whole "men are from mars and women are from venus" book proves that.  but this is different.

he takes forever to make a decision...thinks about it for days...then thinks about it some more...then re-analyzes why he is thinking about it...then forgets that he's thinking about it for several months...then thinks about thinking about it again...and then sweeps that thought under the rug...and then finally thinks about it some more...then makes a decision...and then second guesses that decision...and then pretends the whole thing never happened. 

it's a wonder we ever made it down the isle.

the fact that we did, is enough confirmation for me to believe that God was in this thing, to last a life time.

me?

well...

i have an idea pop into my head...ask my heart what it thinks for about 8.24 seconds...and then...BOOM...decision made...done.

never think about it again.

so...what is this all about, you may be wondering?

the adoption.

are we really supposed to adopt a baby girl with down syndrome and bring her into our family as our own?

has God, himself, really "called" us to do this?

to me...

there is no question.

to chad...

reality and responsibility to our four, present children is something that needs to be further evaluated and prayed about.

does this lead to frustration...arguing...resentment...unrest?

absolutely.

is it a bad thing?

no.

it is hard for me to admit that.

it is hard for me to admit that i may not ever hold that baby girl and tell her how much we loved and wanted her.  it is hard for me not to blame chad.  it is hard for me to see how God is using my husband to guide us and grow us and lead us.  it is hard for me to be patient.  again.

but i will.

because that is what God is asking me to do.

and no matter how hard it is to admit...

He deals with me...and He deals with chad...

and He loves us both.

and He knows who the baby would be if we did get her...

and He loves her too.

and He knows what's best for us all.

please God...

have favor on us.

have favor on us all.

it's raining cats, dogs and frogs

in an effort to help me out...chad changed all of my settings and a bunch of other "stuff" so that i could easier upload, store, and deal with my pictures.

the result...

i can't find any of them.

it's ok.

normally i would be going out of my mind with frustration and irrational thoughts of throwing all technology before the year 1993 out with the trash and marching to my nearest southwestern bell store to purchase myself a mustard yellow, rotary telephone to bolt to our kitchen wall with the extra long curly chord that will reach to the pantry if i decide i need to have a private conversation.  you know...the one that you spend hours trying to untangle so that you can reach your nearest room with a door?  and then i would plan out going to the nearest drug store to purchase a few rolls of film for my old camera after giving the photo technician an ear-full of my latest soap box tirade about how all technology is just plain evil.

but i'm not.

like...at all.

****

our kitty friend is being fairly persistent.  despite the fact that chad has made it perfectly clear to him how much he hates cats...he still doesn't seem to be too proud to bounce his way over and meow his way into our house.  it doens't help that the girls tote him everywhere and that he patiently puts up with them dressing him up in doll dresses...rocking him in a doll cradle...and bathing him in the pretend doll bathtub.

i would show you pictures of all those things...

but we have already covered that issue.

i can't believe that this cat doesn't bolt as soon as he sees annslee coming.  but he doesn't.  he just goes limp when she picks him up and lets her toss him over her shoulder like a santa sack and tote him around wherever the wind blows her.

it really is comical.

so, last night...mr. we-will-never-own-a-cat...came home from the store with a small bag of kitten food.  we animal lovers of the family got a little excited, until he followed his moment of weakness up with,

"we are NOT keeping this cat!!!!"

and i believe him.

tune in next time to find out what happens with clickity cat.

****

on another animal note...

woody...chase's tree frog has finally crossed over into the heavenly realm.  the funeral and burial will be held tonight at the site of buzz's final resting place in the backyard.  (buzz was the other tree frog.  santa brought them together, like 5 years ago.)  chase has already written the eulogy and given it to chad.  and i think we all have to wear black.  and maybe we even all have to say something about woody.  and then chase will pray.  i think this is how it is to go.

oh...

and...

in lieu of flowers, chase has requested toys.

happy tuesday, folks.

now...go hug one of your pets.

trick-or-treat

i remember halloween as a kid.  i remember the magic of it.  there was no question that the community would come together.  every child was included...no matter their age.  everyone participated.  most porch lights were lit, right along with the candle in their jack-o-lantern.

around the same time every year...the question from mom would come.  "what do y'all want to be for halloween this year" she would ask.

and the magic would start.

she would make our costumes...humoring us with tiny details that would make our transformation from an ordinary child into our new identity for the evening seem quite realistic.

I remember being raggedy ann, a doll, a black kitty cat, a pumpkin, a princess, and a punk rocker.  i know there were many more costumes...but those are the ones that make appearances in my memory when i think of halloween.

i remember our plastic pumpkin trick-or-treat containers.  i remember my dad carving the pumpkin the same every year.  i remember dumping all of our loot onto the kitchen table and my parents checking the wrappers for tiny holes.

but mostly...i remember the candle lit streets, the sounds of giggling children, the sight of excited kids running from house to house in little clusters exclaiming "TRICK-OR-TREAT" in happy voices at every door, with the conversations of moms and dads chaperoning their little ghosts and goblins from the curb echoing in the background.

i still love halloween...for all of the same reasons.

this year we had friends over for pizza, boo mix, and brownies...followed by turning our bathroom into a costume studio.  the boys dressed upstairs and the girls in my closet.  and then everyone gathered to have hair and make-up done, which transformed them from a kid in a costume into the real thing.

this was the only time she had the elmo hood on.  the rest of the time, she refused to keep it on her head.  that's ok.  she's 2.  she gets a free pass.

colton was captain jack sparrow; chase was harry houdini, aiden was little red riding hood (cape made by granna), and annslee was elmo, of course.

chad didn't dress up and i didn't press him on it.  i had my friend, cara who volunteered to look ridiculous with me.

i threw this costume together very last minute.  like right before we walked out the door, last minute.  i busted out my 9th grade homecoming dress and some blue eye shadow.

oh yeah.....

nothin like the late 80's.

aiden and her kiki were precious together.

right out of a fairytale...

why is she always looking annoyed that i am taking her picture?  little red riding hood needed to adjust her attitude to the paparazzi.  it's like she forgot who her obsessive mother is.

****

annslee, i mean elmo rode with her friend, kenzie the pumpkin in the wagon.

cara thought she was really dressing up with this 50's style outfit.

this did not go over well with me.

i looked ridiculous.

she looked normal.

i'm gonna remember that next year.

come on red........look like you're pleased to be goin to grandma's house.

that's better.

captain jack thought he may be a little old for trick-or-treating.  sadly...this may have been his last year to dress up.  don't worry though.  i think i can squeeze myself into this get-up next year.

uk walked along with trout.  they both did surprisingly well with all the chaos.

houdini and hood stuck close together.

jack looked like he had had too much rum (sugar).

"TRICK-OR-TREAT," they excitedly exclaimed.

daddy rocked elmo's trick-or-treat experience by carrying her to every door himself.  he was her own, personal chariot.

it was a fun night.

i can't help but wonder if we will have another little trick-or-treater to dress up next year?

i wonder what they will all want to be?