a few little dittys

there is little time for the ole' blog these days. holiday season at the elementary school is quite the affair. the sweet 4 year old sissy is having...shall we say..."adjustment issues." and the cutie pie little sissy is what my mom calls "colicky"...which sounds old school to me, however i think she is right. apparently i was colicky when i was a baby...which i would like to apologize to my probably still tired and frazzled parents at this point. and let's be honest...if i do get a little break, the last thing on my mind is blogging. she is actually laying under her little hanging animal toys right now and is not crying, so i thought i would give a little catch up.

colton: he came home from school the other day and said he knew the "F" word. i closed my eyes, held my breath and asked him what the "F" word was...hoping he would say "fart." no such luck. he does, in fact know the "F" word, due to one of the boys in his class saying it and another girl spelling it. it looks like 3rd grade is the end of innocence and we will need to be having some candid conversations that i am not entirely ready for shortly before he starts hearing it on the playground.

chase: had a teacher conference where his praises were sung, thankfully. i did have to explain to his teacher that his two take home reader book reports were done, and that we didn't send them back in his folder, not because he wasn't ready for the next ones...but that i wasn't. i still hate homework.

aiden: just to prove that i'm not lying about the "adjustment issues"...the other day, while i was feeding annslee, she came to me and told me that she was spitting up. needing a little attention maybe??

annslee: eating, pooping, fussing, sometimes sleeping if we are all jumping through the right hoops that day, growing (9 pounds now), looking super cute, and slowly learning that not being held can be ok sometimes.

chad and i: tired...but very blessed.

GNO

getting ready to leave for our GNO

(i'm not super stoked about this picture of me. i think i look really tired. probably because i am. but let's face it...the night was all about aiden.)

cutie pie

aiden doing some coloring before we started our games

the "in house" brewed root beer and famous pizza

(unfortunately i didn't get a picture of the pizookie...which is a chocolate chip cookie baked in a deep dish, personal pizza pan served hot with vanilla ice cream piled on top. YUMMY.)

last night aiden and i had our GNO. i was really looking forward to spending some un-interrupted time with my big girl. i vowed to talk about anything and everything that she wanted to talk about. and if you know our precocious aiden, you know that i was mainly listening. which was fine. everyone needs to be listened to once in a while. she chose to go to BJ's...a favorite among the locals. at least our locals. (i love that i sound like we live in a beach town in hawaii with that whole "locals" line.) anyhow, we chatted and colored and played games and shared a pizza and pizookie and chatted some more. we basically did whatever she wanted and it was so much fun. i really want to do this with each of the boys as well. it's tricky to make happen...but oh so important! i loved our GNO ("girl's night out" for all you more "advanced" folks who didn't know what that meant).

a note-worthy conversation of the evening included when i was signing the check at the restaurant and aiden said she needed to go poopie. i asked her if she could wait until we got home and she said that she could. when she was getting out of the car in our driveway, she exclaimed, "oh mom...i didn't go poopie in my panties!" i said, "no you didn't!" then she turned around and tried to look at her bottom and said to herself, "good job butt!!!!"

some of my favorites.

the 4 darlins

the biggest brother and the littlest sister

chase and annslee (the 2 peas in a pod. he loves that she looks most like him.)

aiden and annslee: "sissys"

the latest of the sugar plum

i love these. i actually got ready. chad was taking me out for my birthday. and look how sweet annslee james is.

what i normally look like...no make up and hair doing who knows what :/

(colton was the photographer here. this one is for you, ashley. :))

poor aiden has been strugglin. she is no longer the baby or the only girl. she is having to share "her boy's" affections and stays right at my feet all day. she loves her sister, but is unsure of where she fits now. temporary, i know...but a big transition for the big sister. a couple of days ago, while she was supposed to be playing with the boys and some friends, i found her outside...meditating...literally.

*i need to get some good pictures of chad. he is one of my favorites too. although not a big fan of the camera. now that he's finally well...we will have to corner him.

what birthday?

i told my mom that i would just skip my birthday this year. however, i still want the presents. it was yesterday and i think it un-necessary to discuss my age. yuck. we sort of celebrated by chad and i taking chase and aiden to target. my mom is out of town and my dad offered to bring an ice cream cake down and watch annslee for us to go get the rug from target that my parents got me. i also wanted to pick up a few clothing items that would work now and hopefully later too. we decided that leaving all 4 kids with my dad was not very nice, so we divided and conquered. i thought the easiest combination for him would be colton and annslee. so, chase and aiden "got" to go with us. i don't know what made me think that a good birthday activity would be to try on jeans, but let me just say...it is not. bad decision. i did end up with 2 button down sweater vests and 2 white t-shirts to go with them. and...when the clothing for the body is just not working out...move on to the shoe/hat/purse department to make yourself feel better. i got 2 pairs of shoes for my skinny again feet and a hat for the winter. thankfully, chad agreed to the shoes/hat purchase due to fear of another "post jeans try on" performance. the rug for the living room also worked out swimmingly. i think i should stay away from any clothing from the waist down that does not involve stretchy...very stretchy material. and, any full length mirrors for a while. i'll just stick to admiring my feet in their new shoes for now.

tonight, chad took the boys to the star wars concert in houston. it consists of a symphony playing the music from star wars to large screens showing scenes from all of the movies. and also a display of a lot of the costumes that were worn in the filming of the movies. chase was most excited about seeing chewbacca. i'm glad they got to go...and i'm more glad chad remembered to take the gel in his pocket. i'm at home with the girls, where we will be enjoying some quiet girl time. although aiden did just ask, "when are my boys gonna get home. i want em really bad." i guess watching annslee eat and poop and sleep is not as fun for her as we made it sound when she watched them leave for their boy fun tonight. poor big sister who is experiencing not being the baby and only girl anymore. i think she is feeling a little left out.

at a glance...

this past week, at a glance. (it should be self explanatory why i have not had a chance to blog and post the cutest ever pictures of our 4 loves.)

sunday night: mom comes to stay with us to help in the mornings getting the kids off to school and in the evenings getting dinner and the kids in bed.
monday morning: took annslee to the doctor for a jaundice check.
monday afternoon: took annslee to the hospital lab for blood draw to test billi levels per dr.'s request
monday night: started annslee on the billi blanket at home for jaundice
tuesday morning: took annslee back to hospital lab for re-check
tuesday afternoon: dr. called and told me to keep her on the billi blanket except for when she eats.
wednesday morning: hospital again for re-check
wednesday afternoon: dr. called and said to keep her on it through thursday evening and then take her off for the night and re-check on friday morning.
wednesday afternoon (post nurse call): i have a postpartum, lack of sleep induced, irratioinal, emotional breakdown and mom and ms. ann come to my rescue.
thursday afternoon: chase comes home from school with cough and fever
thursday evening: per dr.'s orders, i leave with annslee to stay at my parent's until chase is 24 hrs fever free
friday morning: chad takes chase to dr. and i take annslee to hospital for billi check (this is what i call the picket fence defensive play)
friday afternoon: say chase does not have the flu, but another bad respiratory virus and annslee's billiruben levels are coming down and she can stay off the billiblanket.
friday afternoon: colton comes home from school with 102 fever and aiden has the sniffles
friday night: i go to store and get supplies/food/medicines for chad and drop them off. notice chad making himself hot tea and make a mental note that that was not a good sign
saturday: chad begins coughing and feeling bad. colton running 103.
saturday night: stuff (furniture) that we inherited from grandparent's house moved into our house at 11 pm.
sunday: chase better, chad and colton still sick, aiden on the fence. i start having pain in lower abdomen where i can't even stand up straight. wonder what is wrong...but in complete denial that it could be anything serious. realize possible uterine infection and promise to call dr/ in the morning.
monday: chase and colton and aiden home from school to ensure 24 hours fever free and chad says he's feeling better. i line up a house cleaner to come tuesday morning to clean/sterilize the huse and annslee and i plan to come home tuesday afternoon. call my dr. and they say it is probably due to lifting her carseat around every day last week and strained. wait and see approach.
monday night at 9:45: chad calls and he, colton and aiden running fever. i call house cleaner and cancel and tell her i will call to re-schedule. praying that uterus will feel better tomorrow and that kids and chad will start feeling better.
tuesday: chase back at school; colton at home but feeling way better; chad feels like total crap; aiden still mild and basically fever free. deep breaths and praying for His protection and that our family can be all together soon. annslee misses her brothers and sister. i miss my husband and other 3 loves.

WELCOME SWEET LOVE

annslee james clarkson

weighing 6 pounds 1 oz.

and 17 1/2 inches long

sweet love

i'm not just resting. i'm dilating.

so, my regular doctor's appointments are on thursdays, and that is also when i change weeks. however, yesterday i had to go in for a nurse visit to get the B12 shot due to being anemic...(which just gives my mom and dad the ability to give me a big "i told you so" on my need to consume red meat...which i haven't done in 16 years.) because of us almost going into the hospital this past saturday night (woke up in the the middle of a hard contraction at 1:19 am and then they were every 5 minutes until around 4:45) they decided to "check" out the situation. i was somewhat in shock when she said, "ummm...you're dilated to 3 and 60% and the baby's head is right here coming through the cervix...you won't have to push at all. i'm not even sure you'll make the appointment on thursday."

excuse me???? did you say 3? did you say it's going to happen so fast that the next time i start contracting, we need to "get there"? did you say something about sitting on towels? did you say that by this time next week, we would have a baby?

i don't feel so bad about resting now. it's called preparation.

jedi training

birthday party down. now it's time to have a baby.

for the faithful readers, prayers, and "good deal" leather bag lovers

i must be up and around more...as the blogs have slowed down. sorry faithful readers, (if i have any.) bed rest officially ended at my doctor's appointment last thursday. she said...and i quote..."you can do whatever you feel like doing." well...alright then. does that mean whatever my brain feels like doing (going shopping and taking a much needed jog to get the muscles in my legs to wake from their 10 week hibernation slumber) or what my body feels like doing (which is more lounging on the couch)? as we approach this week's appointment, i find myself hoping for a "dilated to 3" status. i was a full 1 last week, so i figure with all the work i've done, (and by "work" i mean walking at a snail's pace at target, followed by soaking in a hot tub, followed by getting my swollen feet rubbed by my, oh so patient and understanding hub) that is not too much to ask. let's face it. at this point, i just want to know that almost 1/3 of the work is already done.

on "a boy who loves star wars" note, chase's birthday party is this weekend. he has been saying for months that he wants a darth vadar cake...which normally would be an acceptable challenge for me. however, in my delicate...and increasingly uncomfortable condition...i'm not sure a 3-D version is in the cards. after researching online and realizing that to make this concoction i would be on my feet for like 3 days straight, leaning over the kitchen counter, up to my swollen hair follicles in black icing...i came up with a plan. and it's called the "have chad pick up an inexpensive darth vadar mask to slap on top of a sheet cake" plan. i tell myself that this is okay, due to the "condition" i am currently in and that chase will think it is the coolest that he will get to wear his cake and eat it too. if you are the praying kind...please (at this moment because i know if not now, you will forget) pray for no rain so that i don't end up with his entire 1st grade class in my house and that the jedi training course that chad has planned can actually take place outside where it belongs. somehow, the light saber training and destroy the death star game won't have the same "affect" in my living room.

and an update on the "wish" post from last time...i got a bag for annslee's lovelies that i think is pretty lovely and it was only $16 dollars. which is a good thing, considering we got down the infant carrier to clean up this weekend and the button the you push to adjust the straps to fit the baby is totally broken. the plus? a stylish, new and improved, very girly car seat for the baby sister. graco...how much of my money do you have? and are you a part of some conspiracy that i should be aware of?

wish

is this bag not the most delicious bag you have ever seen? i came across it through a random blog that had a link to another random blog that had them featured. it just so happens that i have been in the market for a new diaper bag for annslee...okay. actually for me. (but it would be holding all of her loveliness.)...over the last several days. i have looked at places such as tj max, ross, and target. i have focused on these places because they happen to be the only places i was in and seemed to follow our budget. however...i found nothing. until now. unfortunately this little piece of perfection, although would make the perfect diaper bag, does not meet the price criteria...at roughly $250. annslee's lovelies will have to find another place to be toted.

33 weeks

as long as everything goes according to plan, (aka: the test that predicts labor comes back negative), the doctor says that bed rest will be officially over in 1 week. to think, 8 weeks back, i thought the day would never come. she is actually letting me get up 1 week earlier than what she originally said, and i'm not sure why...but i'm not questioning her!!

we have all been instructed to get flu immunizations this year. aiden and i got the raw end of that stick because we were the only two that had to get the injection instead of the nasal mist. she couldn't because she had received her 4 year immunizations only weeks prior to getting it and i couldn't because i'm pregnant. oh well...it's over and i'm glad it's done. i went to walgreens today to get mine and there was a plus side to this little excursion...and they are called PUMPKIN CANDY CORNS! that's right. they had just put them out on their seasonal isle and i treated myself to 2 bags. i was chomping on one when the pharmacist came out to give me my shot. she said, "whatever gets you through." 1/2 a bag later, i have a bit of a tummy ache. although to my defense, chad ate 2 and aiden ate 2. so i only ate 1/2 a bag minus 4. and i like to tell myself that they probably ate more than that and i just don't know it. i'm gonna have to slow up on the pumpkin candy corns. although...not today. it's the first bag of season, and i'm supposed to be gaining weight anyway...therefore, it doesn't count.

(disclaimer: this post contains a fair amount of rationalization.)

chairs, lunchboxes and trains

i am sitting in my chair...(and i do think it has become MY chair, with all the sitting i've done in it over the last 6-7 weeks)...and the kids are all chomping on their pretzel snacks while we wait, patiently, for chad to get home. i am passing the time by looking online for creative lunchbox ideas because...let's face it...after 2 weeks of school, they are already tired of the same, boring sandwich, snack, fruit, and juice box filled lunchboxes. i am also listening to them show each other, excitedly what shape or number they just made with their pretzel. nothing too exciting. then aiden gets a confused look on her face and puts her hand on her throat and says, very seriously, with furrowed eyebrows..."my throat feels like i ate a train. only i haven't ate a train."

we all just kind of pause and look at her. nobody says anything...we just kind of look at her while she looks at us...because how do you really respond to a statement like that?

all about colton, chase, aiden and annslee

my new philosophy is to enjoy the tranquil and quite days until this baby is born. today is the first day that i have had totally alone since last year on tuesdays and thursdays when the boys and aiden were all in school. aiden spent the night with granna and grandaddy last night since i had an 8:30 doctor's apt this morning. i came home and chad left shortly after that for work. i have just been enjoying my pumpkin spice frap, no whip and a tall glass of water since then. i have been able to chat with a friend and just enjoy the morning. i started thinking that i should enjoy it while it lasts.

on to the doctor's apt. i was worried at first because i had lost a pound and did not grow any since my last apt, however the ultrasound put me at ease. i may not have grown, but our baby girl has! she is weighing in at close to 4 pounds and her measurements changed her due date to october 24th, which is my birthday. that also moves her from the smallish 17th percentile to the 45th. i like to think of that as just a gentle, little rub on the back and a wink from God...letting me know that i was doing good work at growing this baby and that he is keeping her exactly where she should be. if i have annslee when i had aiden, it would make it october 7th...so anythime after that, i'll be one happy individual!

aiden annee-grace starts preschool on tuesday. she is very excited and ready to be with some friends. she is also ready for her little sister. every day she tells me something else she is going to teach her.

the boy's have been in school since this past tuesday and on thursday night, chase came down to our room at 2:30 and announced that he had thrown up in his bed. i must confess that this was a rough night. i can't thank God enough for giving me chad for a husband. he jumped up, got chase in the tub and started getting all the sanitizing under way. i went upstairs to assess the damage and started making laundry piles. unfortunately, we had some stuffed animal casualties due to him having about 28 of them in his bed with him. i was trying to help although moving kinda slow. chad, very sweetly and gently told me to go lay down and that he would take care of all of it. he did...and i was able to go behind him and spray everything with lysol or bleach and then he did a thorough cleaning after that.

i have been on my knees, (figuratively...i'm sure the Lord understands how hard it is for me to actually get on my knees) begging that whatever it was would not spread to the other kids and to chad and i. i'm really trying hard to not stress about all the potential threats this season to all pregnant women. every time i turn on the tv, i'm hearing about how dangerous this flu situation is this fall for pregnant women and their babies and how i'm supposed to stay away from public places and people who come in contact with it. and, i'm also hearing how bad the flu already is in the schools here. i explained to the school nurse my situation and she said that she would let me know as soon as it is on their halls, but i can't help but be apprehensive. this, evidently, is not the best season to be pregnant. the nurse also told me to get the regular flu vaccines for the kids now...so they are getting them next week. i will just keep praying. we are all in God's hands, right? i need to keep reminding myself that they are very capable ones.

meet the teacher...

...could have been a scene out of meet the parents as far as i'm concerned. at my last appointment, i got special permission from the doctor to be able to go up to the school today for "meet the teacher." i explained that as long as i wasn't putting the baby at risk, there was no way that i could send my other, bigger babies to school without knowing who their teachers were, being able to talk with them in person, finding out where their classrooms were, and making sure that they felt comfortable with the situation. yes...chad could have done this on his own, but there are just some things that a mom wants to be a part of. annnnnnddd...maybe a little of me wanted to make sure that the teachers understood "the situation" and that if the kids talk about their mom being at home on the couch, they didn't picture a woman in a moo moo, watching soaps and eating bon bons with her hair in those old fashioned, pink, foam curler things.

so...off we go.

now, it was no secret to us that there was one teacher that colton did not want to get. this is not a reflection on the teacher, mind you...but the common knowledge that this man was very outgoing and loud and had the kids get up and dance on occasion. for my little shy guy...this was not appealing. i made the choice to let it play out and told him that the chances of him getting in this particular class were slim and not to worry. but all summer long, whenever we would talk about this year...he would say, "i just hope i don't get "mr. so and so." on friday, chad took the kids up to the school to see the class lists. i was on the phone with colton when he walked up and made the discovery that sent him into a tailspin of worry for the next 2 days. he got mr. so and so. and to top that off...he did not know one kid in his class.

we had long conversations over the weekend about how sometimes the things that we are most afraid of end up being the things that are the most meaningful. that was then translated into...sometimes the teachers that we are most afraid of in the beginning, end up being our favorites. this seemed to put him in better spirits until this morning. he was so nervous that he had a stomach ache. i pulled him close as we walked from the parking lot into the building and said, "don't worry. you've got this in the bag." chase...who never meets a stranger...or someone he doesn't like, was not worried at all. he was super excited to meet his teacher...and his allotted time to do so came first. after hugging his new teacher, hugging his friends in his class, and attempting to get the snake out of the display case, we headed to the other side of the tracks...known as the upper elementary side of the school. however, colton's teacher, mr. so and so was walking down the hall. colton said, "there's mr. so and so. he overheard colton say his name and said very friendly and outgoing like, "hey colton! you're in my class this year." colton was so nervous that he didn't say a word. however, chase did. he ran up to mr. so and so and pointed at him and said...very loudly i might add, "yeah...only he really didn't want to get you for a teacher."

you know when things start going in slow motion...and you open your mouth but nothing comes out except for a little squeaky noise...and you realize that there is no way to salvage what just happened...and all you want to do is run? well...that about sums it up. mr. so and so handled it with great dignity, especially since there were a ton of other parents and kids standing around who heard this honest outburst from a concerned sibling. as he walked away, i thought, "welp...our work here is done. let's go." however, we still had to make it to colton's classroom for the "formal" meet the teacher, although i wanted to slink out the door...never to return...making up some excuse about why i needed to home school my oldest instead of send him into the classroom where the teacher knows exactly how he feels about him. meanwhile, chad had a conversation with chase about the need to pretend there was tape on his mouth the whole time we were in mr. so and so's classroom. i'll spare you the rest of the details, but chad and i managed to salvage the situation once we were in there and colton became ok after he found a box of legos in the classroom that all the kids were playing with while their parents were putting there best foot forward for the teacher. i figured i didn't need to do that...seeing as my chaser had already put his in his mouth.

conversations with aiden

i have noticed lately that aiden has become quite the little chatter box. when i was little, my mom used to have to tell me that her ears were tired and needed a break. i now understand what she means. i can't get one of a's questions answered before she asks the next one these days. i don't think that i could have possibly talked as much as she does. (chad would, most likely differ in opinion.)

here is how one of our MANY conversations went tonight:

Aiden: Mommy...take my feet off and turn them around backwards and put them back on.

Me: Why?

Aiden: So that I can walk backwards.

Me: How would I take them off?

Aiden: You could cut them off...then turn them around and put them back on.

Me: How would I get them back on though?

*pause*

Aiden: tape.

who knew?

welp...who knew you could outgrow sweatpants?

i like to tell myself that people are wearing things tighter these days and that all my sweatpants are the "tighter style" and that is why i have suddenly outgrown them and that it is actually a good thing and that it is "all baby" and that these 1 or 3 pair of sweatpants that i can no longer get over my hips are made of a fabric that is way less stretchy than other sweatpants.

however...i am still somewhat annoyed at my sweatpants and have been since i tried to get them on this morning.

and furthermore, all my maternity shirts are feeling uncomfortably snug and the maternity tanks are tight and short and nothing feels comfortable except pajama pants and my sleep shirts. i know i have nowhere to go, but sometimes a girl wants to put on a cute, stylish outfit and it does nothing for my declining mood to have nothing cute and stylish to wear...even if it is to just sit in the chair.

and let me just give a piece of advice to any other pregnant women out there...or anyone who is hormonal for another reason...or just plain annoyed..........refrain from getting long hair cut off. it only makes you cry. and obsessively look at all girls on tv that have the long waves that you used to have.

an update of the serious and not-so-serious kind

the not so serious:

the other day, chase came and sat next to me on the couch and touched my belly. i could tell he was thinking about something. he said, "mommy...i want the next baby you have to be a boy so we can name him obi wan kenobi."

i believe it was that very night that chase came over to the couch and told me he had a secret. i said, "whisper it in my ear." he leaned in close and whispered, "at granna's house, i put a lego head in my mouth. and then i swallowed it. BY ACCIDENT. you can't tell ANYONE."

this morning, aiden was drawing and coloring a picture. i asked her what she was drawing and she said, "a picture of you mommy." i said, "thank you aiden. i want to see it when you are done." a couple of minutes later she said, "mommy...i'm not able to draw a flower in your hair. but i can draw a cookie in it!" i said, "a cookie will be perfect!"

an update of the serious kind:

i had the ultrasound yesterday afternoon and the baby looks good. she was moving around a lot, which the technician said was great. her exact words were, "sick babies don't move." she is measuring 2.5 pounds and that is on the small side. she said that was the 17th percentile and that she is just petite. my fluid level looks good and she said that if there was a problem, my fluid level would, most likely be down. basically, she said that i just have small babies. however, colton was 8 pounds 2.5 oz...so he was no small thing. chase was 5 pounds 11 oz at 38 weeks, so he was small. but he had stopped growing and i had very little fluid when they broke my water with him. aiden was 6 pounds 11 oz at 36 weeks and 5 days, so she was on her way to an average weight. so...all this to say, i'm not sure about all that. i will feel better when i see the doctor and she tells me that she has grown since the last time. at least then i'll know she is thriving in there. needless to say, my mother is now stuffing my face with fat and calories to "grow" annslee. i now have an un-natural relationship with cinnamon powdered sugar donuts.

bed rest quote of the day

-"mom...i want you to get up and just try to run around."

aiden

28 weeks

apparently i've reached some sort of milestone. 28 weeks is a good place to be. at least that's what my doctor said when she greeted me today at my appointment. after waiting forever, and getting quite uncomfortable sitting on what is becoming a tinier and tinier table with nothing but a sheet separating me from the rest God's creation, she decided to grace me with her presence. something about rushing from a delivery, blah blah blah...okay...i guess that was a good enough reason to keep me waiting. it doesn't mean that i wasn't getting super uncomfortable though.

everything "down there" still looks good, however she set up an ultrasound on tuesday because i didn't gain any weight (and i was expecting to have packed on quite a bit due to the ice cream, cookies, brownies, candybars, and sedentary lifestyle) and i'm starting to measure small. they will do measurements on the baby then to make sure she is still growing like she should be. let's just hope she is.

i also got special permission to go lay on my mom's couch. we are going to try and go over there a couple time a week. that'll be like a vacation. maybe i'll have lemonade to drink that day instead of just plain water. with an umbrella. (thanks for the suggestion kara. ;)

my entertainment thus far

there's really not much i can say to add to the above...

after a long time of insisting that he never wanted to ride a bike...the other day, colton announced, "ok...i'm gonna ride a bike today." and he did.