Tuesday, February 01, 2011

out of nowhere

The conversation came out of nowhere...and I wasn't prepared.  A little girl from Chase's class (who lives a few doors down) was here.  She and Chase were doing their homework together in the dining room, turned school room.  Aiden was sitting at the table as well...pretending that she was doing homework too.  I was in the kitchen, making dinner and answering the occasional question about their assignment.  I heard the following conversation.

Chase:  "My grandpa died."

Friend:  "The one I know?"

Aiden:  "The one from the nursing home."

Chase:  "Yeah...he died."

Friend:  "When?"

Chase:  "A few days ago."

Aiden:  "No.  It was, like...Christmas.  He fell in the bathroom."

Chase:  "He was my great grandpa...my mom's grandpa.  And he played lots of songs.  Right Aiden?  My favorite song that he played was Tennessee Flat Top Box."

Aiden:  "Yeah.  That was my favorite too."

I listened intently to them telling their friend about him.  I thought I would cry, but I didn't.  I smiled instead.

It's funny what happens...the things that trigger some sort of emotional response.  And you never know what that response will be.  Like the other day, I met my mom and dad for lunch.  We were talking like normal when I saw my dad's face recognize someone.  He got up and went over to a woman who was waiting for her food and began talking to her.  I couldn't hear what he was saying, but I saw his face and could tell that he was fighting back tears when the woman asked how he was doing.  He brought the woman to our table, and introduced her to mom and I.  He said, "This was dad's doctor.  She signed the death certificate."  He told us, in front of her, that he appreciated everything she had done for him.  She said that she was sorry for our loss.  I don't remember what we were talking about before we saw the doctor, but I do know that the rest of our conversation was centered around grandpa.

Yesterday, I went to the doctor.  Again.  I am still feeling dizzy...which is getting beyond irritating.  I had finished a z-pack for a sinus infection and "bulging" ears, and it wasn't any better.  I still felt sinus pressure above my eyes, was having headaches, and was dizzy...so I decided to go see the doctor that my dad and Chad see, instead of going back to the rediclinic.  That meant that I had to answer a ton of new patient questions.  I was sitting on the table and the nurse was asking me everything from when my last period was to if I wear my seat belt.  "Does anyone in your family have heart disease?  Cancer?  Thyroid problems?  Stroke?  High cholesterol?  High blood pressure?"  etc. etc.  etc.  Then, out of nowhere...she says, "How many living grandparents do you have?"

My eyes got hot and wet, and I pretended it was due to the sinus pressure.  I think she thought it was due to all the damn questions.  Again...out of nowhere.  It's strange how that works. 

1 comment:

Kara said...

Totally understand your loss...your grandpa, Mindy. I've was right where you are almost 2 years ago when Nanaw passed away. (can't believe it'll be 2 years Spring Break) and when I was around people and they would say, O i'm sorry for your loss or nanaw, etc. They truly didn't know the empty pit in the stomach of how much i MISSED my nanaw. Grandparents truly are a treasure to the soul.