making good on a childhood dream

it's no secret that i have been trying to get to the olympics since i was about 2 years old and watched dorothy hamill skate. and i don't mean as a spectator. my mom says that i would stand on the fireplace hearth to get as close to the t.v. as possible and watch intently. i begged, begged, begged to take ice skating lessons, but the nearest ice rink was a good 45 minutes away. then i thought that gymnastics would take me there, but when i realized that i was double their height, i knew that was a no go. i've never let go of the desire to win an olympic medal, and that is especially apparent during the olympics. 6 years ago, my plan was to start synchronized swimming. i figured that i could do that easy enough and that by the beijing games, i could feasibly be there. then i heard how much they train. so that's not gonna really work with my schedule. now, i'm no expert...but i really think i could successfully pick up curling. i did some research and there is this one curler that is competing in these olympic games that is 43. by the next winter olympics, i will only be 39. and...it doesn't look like you have to be in crazy good shape either. i did find out that she started curling when she was 8... which scares me a little. but how hard can it be? this could be a real possibility. i was beyond excited to watch the women's skating with my girls. i told aiden for weeks leading up to the olympics that i couldn't wait to watch it with her...just like i watched it when i was her age. technically, i think annslee could have gone either way, and aiden fell asleep half-way through the night (poor darlin...it was getting really late and she had to put up with a bunch of skiing events and news intermittently.) actually, annslee has been pretty obsessed with the downhill skiing. she will stare at the t.v. when that is on forever. now we call them "her friends, the skiers." but that's really beside the point. here is a picture of me and the girls watching the skaters. it does make me happy.

i am very thrilled to report that in a little over a week, i am starting adult ice skating lessons. this is all thanks to my friend, g. she had the very brilliant idea and checked into it. chad is being very supportive of this idea. he became really supportive when i agreed to taking lessons as a single skater instead of the ice dancing lessons that i originally talked about. his response to that suggestion made me laugh. he said, "yeah. i can't skate and i can't dance. do you really think this is the sport that i should try to pick up?" anyhow...i digress. the point is, that in a week, g and i will be lacing up our skates and i will be taking my very first ice skating lesson. wow...it's like 31 years since i first asked for lessons, but i think it's important to make good on a childhood dream.

tame the crazy

i really shouldn't do this. let you all in on the actual crazy that is in my mind. i think you're supposed to tame the crazy in front of others...right? i don't know why, but when i took annslee to the doctor for her 4 month well check up this past week, i told myself that i was going to blog it. not so much for whoever may end up reading this, but for me...because hopefully when i look back on this post, i will realize how far i've come in this area of the crazy. counting how many times i've been to the pediatrician as a mother is not possible, but i can add up the well check ups at least. they go at 2 weeks, 2 months, 4 months, 6 months, 9 months, 12 months, 18 months, 24 months, 3 yrs, 4 yrs, 5 yrs. i'll stop there because that is when they stop getting all the immunizations. so, if my calculations are correct...for my 4 children thus far, i have taken them 36 times for just the well check up. this does not include all the sick or "mychildisscreamingallthetimeandnotsleepingandspittingupcontiuouslyandhasarashthatwon'tgoaway" visits. (annslee has been about 6 times for various reflux/rash reasons). so anyways...this is what i go through EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

cover the infant carrier with a blanket before going in the building. have a wipe ready. have my debit card, hand gel and my own pen in my pocket. use a wipe to open the door and push the elevator button, then use the same wipe to open the door to the office. use my own pen to sign in. tell the receptionist that we are waiting in the hall. use the same wipe to open the door to get to the hall. i gel my hands even though i haven't touched a thing. i hold the carrier the whole time because i'm scared of all the germs that have "settled" on the floor. (if i didn't sound crazy before...i'm sure that last sentence pushed me over the crazy edge.) this is when the infant carrier starts to get really heavy, by the way, but i push through and hope we don't have to wait there long. they come to call us back and i always let the nurse go ahead of me so that i don't have to touch the door handles. when we get into the room, i put the infant carrier on the paper on the table and ask them if the room had been cleaned after the last patient. they always say yes, but spray the chairs for me anyways. (i don't know why this makes me feel better because i don't even sit in them.) while they are asking me questions, i get another antibacterial wipe and wipe the edges of the table where the paper doesn't touch. i get a thick blanket out of the diaper bag (that is also on the paper) and spread it on the table. by this point, they are having me get the baby down to their diaper. when we go to weigh them, i ask them to put the paper protector sideways and to use 2 of them so that the baby doesn't touch the scale at all. when we get back to the room, i put them on the blanket while they measure their heads and length. i always watch to make sure that their hands don't touch the wall. if they do, i wipe them. when the nurse leaves, i pick up the baby and we normally sing lullabies and bounce around the room. the doctor comes in and i somewhat stress about all the other kids that the stethoscope has touched, but i surprisingly don't freak out or break out the wipes. after we are done, i wipe their hands and feet with a wipe, get them dressed and get them all snuggled back in their car seat and cover it up with the blanket. i fold the blanket with the table side folded in and then i use my own pen while checking out, say no thanks to the stickers, and use a wipe on the door handle and elevator buttons. when we get to the car, i take the blanket off the car seat, click it in and gel my hands. one time i took a can of lysol and sprayed the bottom of my shoes before i got in the car...but most of the time i take my shoes off outside before walking in the house. once we get home, i change clothes, put the dirty blankets, burp rags and clothes in the washer and give the baby a bath. then breathe a sigh of relief that i don't have to do it again for another 2 months.

*if it is one of the older kids, they walk...but everything else stays about the same except for a lot of "don't touch anythings." i will admit, at this point, that i'm quite aware that this is not normal behavior...however it is mine.

i've come a long way

9 years old is a good thing. life has changed a bit for dear, little colton. due to being the oldest of 4, he has acquired a few responsibilities that are new to him. for one reason or another, the transition from little kid to big kid has been harder for me than him. not only for sentimental reasons, but logistically too. for example, when do you turn over teeth control? let's not kid ourselves...if i am not going over them, it will take a small miracle for them to remain cavity free. this is just one small issue that has been a hard loss of control for me. there is also when to start letting them bathe themselves, pick out their own clothes, put their own laundry away, making beds, cleaning rooms, and the one that still plagues me...washing their own hands. i still have the "if it's gonna be done right i have to do it" voice in the back of my head. however, since adding puddin to the already less than in control equation, i have had to let go. we have come up with a great little idea, and it is called colton gets paid $5 a week to dust the entire house for me, put his laundry away, help chase and aiden get theirs put away, keep his room and bathroom clean, and do whatever else i may ask him to do to help. let's face it...i would gladly pay him three times that for doing that stuff, but he thinks $5 is the cat's meow. puddin only takes 1 long nap during the day and it is from about 9:30-12:00. so i have given myself "chores" to maintain what is left of my sanity*. before this plan was in place, i was ready to pull my hair out. i felt like i was spinning my wheels all day long trying to keep it all done and it just isn't possible. now, as long as i finish my "chore" i feel accomplished. mondays is laundry. (i start it sunday afternoon and then try to have it finished by when the kids get home from school on monday so that they can take it up.) tuesdays i try to hit the grocery store. wednesday is bathrooms. thursday is sweeping and mopping. colton usually dusts on either saturday or sunday. i need to find a good time to vacuum. this never quite fits in because i don't want to wake annslee up. technically, my house han't been vacuumed since, like, christmas...but we aren't gonna focus on that right now. this works for me, because instead of thinking i need to be "getting something done", i can say, "i finished the bathrooms, so i can sit down and play with aiden instead of going to the next thing"...because there is always the next thing. before colton was born, i cleaned the house from top to bottom every single week and any time we had company. i mean, you just never know when someone from small group might want to poke their head in a linen closet upstairs or something. so, everything was always perfect. today, i would challenge someone to be able to get the door closed to my upstairs linen closet after poking their head in it...due to the fact that about 18 towels and 6 down pillows would most likely fall on their head if they did decide to take a gander. i've come a long way!

a clarkson bedtime, walton style

i'm sure you remember the infamous walton's bedtime routine. i never even watched this show...but i know how the family said goodnight. the siblings would all say goodnight to each other from their own rooms and beds. "goodnight john boy", etc. well, last night as i was feeding annslee downstairs in the living room and chad was tucking the kids in, i heard how our family does it.

chase: (yelling from his bed in his room to aiden in her bed all the way across the upstairs) "AIDEN......I JUST TOOTED IN MY BED!"

aiden: (yelling back from her bed to chase in his) "WHAT?"

chase: "I JUST TOOTED IN MY BED!"

aiden: (laughing) "CHASE....THAT'S FUNNY!!"

........and it was.

shoes

i am a lover of clothes, but am very different from most women in one particular area of fashion. i don't love shoes. i don't even really like shoes. i would go barefoot all the time if socially acceptable. i get by with 2 pair of flip flops all year round.....1 brown pair, and 1 black pair. i have a pair of heels that are so uncomfortable that i only wear them when absolutely necessary. i feel that they are the root of all foot induced evil. i also have a pair of black boots that jeans or leggings can be tucked into. i wear those twice a winter on average. i have a pair of imitation uggs that are super-de-duper comfy and cozy that i got at a manhatten payless when chad and i were in new york. the flip flops weren't cutting it in the sub-zero windchill and snow, so we had to make a stop to get something to keep my feet warm. these things are way comfortable and i love their look, but they make an appearance only when the temperatures here get down in the 30's...which is not very frequent. this year, i forgot i had them and actually did my christmas shopping on the snow day in...you guessed it...flip flops. oh well. my feet were cold...but at least they didn't hurt. all this rambling leads me to the point. we gathered up a bunch of the kid's shoes to send to haiti this morning. i had saved all the kid's shoes, so we had quite a few pairs that i thought needed to find some cute, little haitian feetsies. some of them looked like they had never been worn. this brought up some unresolved anger from a while back when our church did a "shoe drive" type thing. technically, you were supposed to bring the shoes that you wanted to give away to the lobby of the church and put them on this platform thing. i'm not really sure what the point was of putting them on display, but i didn't want to do it that way. after they made the "shoe give away" announcement, i wanted us to all take our shoes off right then and then have to go to lunch with no shoes on. just giving away our shoes is not a big sacrifice, but having to then walk out barefoot and go to lunch with no shoes on lead us to experience just a fraction of the uncomfortable-ness that people who have no shoes feel. so, aiden and i took off our barely worn shoes and walked out barefoot. aiden's were new mary janes that i got her to go with dresses, and mine were a brand spankin' new pair of running shoes. i NEVER wear my running shoes unless i'm running*, so it was weird that i had them on this particular morning instead of the ever popular flip flops. anyhow...i walked out feeling proud of us, which was most likely my downfall. :) fast forward to the next week when i noticed that, along with some other shoes from other people who had brought them in, aiden's were there, but my brand new running shoes were GONE! now, unless somebody came in from off the street who didn't have any shoes to wear, i can only conclude that someone who really didn't need them saw them and wanted them and decided to take them. i was furious that my give away shoe lesson had gone to waste. and, to make matters worse, the kids were there and saw it all. there goes my "teaching moment" from the week before too. i can only hope that those shoes went to someone who really needed them and not to someone who just selfishly swiped them. however, my pessimism takes over on this one. i found myself holding back on sending shoes to haiti because of this little incident that i have clearly not gotten over. i was thinking that they wouldn't really get there. i am still not sure they will make it to haiti, but i realized that God wasn't asking me to send them only if i knew for sure they would find the cute, little haitian boys and girls like i was imagining, but just to send them. period. so i did. *sigh*

* disclaimer: i realize that this sentence makes it seem as though i am an avid runner. i am not a runner. nor have i ran anywhere in the last 10 years. i have no business even owning running shoes. these shoes were bought on a whim when i told myself that i could be a runner, if only i had the appropriate shoes.

i remember january 19, 2001

some years i don't think about it at all. some years it is something i think about only a few times during the day. and some years, such as this one, i think about it the whole day...almost re-living it. january 19, 2001. 9 years ago today. arguably the most influential day of my life. the day that colton felt cold, and i knew that a 5 day old bundle of sweet baby should feel warm and cozy. i was a new mom. it was uncharted territory for me. i didn't know anything about taking care of a baby. however, this much i knew...something was wrong with my baby. he wouldn't wake up to eat. he was listless and cold. i opened the thermometer package...the one that came with all the other new stuff at a shower that foreshadowed nothing but perfect happiness. i took his temperature and the mercury didn't rise. i thought it was broken, so i grabbed for a different one, fighting off the panic that was rising from within. this time, the digital reading blinked 94.3...and i knew it wasn't wrong. i bundled him up and wrapped him in a warm blanket and put a hat on him and held him as tight as i could while a called the doctor. they got him on the phone immediately, which now i understand meant it was considered an emergency. i will never forget his calm, but chilling words. "come straight to the office. now. don't stop for anything." chad met us there, and the next several hours are etched in my mind clear enough that i can revisit them and play them over and over like a movie. sometimes i wonder...if i could forget them, would i be different? would i not be so afraid and anxious all the time? would i be normal? would i be able to go to mcdonald's and let my kids play on the play equipment without getting a stomach ache? would my hands be cracking and bleeding most of the time from washing them so much? and those are just a few tangibles that may be different. we were sent straight to the hospital where the pediatrician called ahead to admit us. i remember chad walking ahead of me and carrying the infant carrier while i struggle to keep up. i remember my legs feeling weak. i remember his black coat that he was wearing, and the outfit colton was wearing. i remember trying to hurry through checking in...hoping to have answers soon. i remember them putting colton in a tiny hospital gown and gently shoving us aside to examine him. i remember them putting needles in him everywhere...drawing his blood for tests. and i remember how he never woke up or cried during that process. and even to a first time mom...i knew that that was not good. by this time, the darkness that was in my head had also become the night sky. they took him for a spinal tap and told us we couldn't come. i believe their exact words were, "it would be too hard for you to watch." i'm convinced that whoever told me that, did not know the strength of a mother when their child needs them. i didn't argue, but today i wish i had. i remember 4 different doctors drilling me with questions. i remember them saying they didn't know. i remember chad being calm. i remember fear. i remember begging...begging doctors...begging God. it took a little over 24 hours for them to diagnose him with meningitis. i remember the doctor telling me that someone had come in contact with him who had not washed their hands and that that is why he got sick...not realizing what that statement would do to me. i remember thinking it was my fault and vowing to never let it happen again. i remember the IV that was in his arm coming out in the middle of that first night while i was nursing him and pulling him away from my body to see both of us covered in blood. i remember screaming for chad to wake up and screaming for the nurse because i didn't know what had happened. i remember chad sleeping on a palate on the floor. i remember sleeping in a chair. i remember anyone who came in his room having to wear the yellow gowns and masks and the sign on the door that said "infectious disease". i remember not eating. i remember refusing to leave the hospital. i remember pouring my heart out to God in the shower, and that becoming my time of comfort each day. i remember God whispering His promises to me during those short times. i remember crying. i remember my parents having to leave to come back to texas. i remember holding tightly to my dad's shirt when he hugged me bye. i remember them telling me that they would not leave if they didn't know he was going to be ok. i remember chad's strength. i remember the IV in colton's head. i remember the doctor coming to see colton every morning during his rounds and i remember the day he realized what i needed to hear every morning. "he's not going to die." i remember him telling me every day. i remember getting to go home. i remember never being the same.

thank you God for protecting my baby. thank you for healing him. thank you for answering our prayers on that day. please be patient with me. i know i need to trust you more, and fear you less. thank you for knowing, that for me...it's alot to remember.

i'm sorry i'm late.

i've noticed that i am having difficulty keeping on top of things lately. quite frankly, i'm really not on top of anything and it's been going on longer than just "lately." all i can get accomplished (and by accomplished...i mean half-way done) is the clothes washed and dried and sometimes folded, food on the table (and by food...i mean sometimes cereal), and the kids to school on time (and by on time...i mean there seconds before the tardy bell with only 1 tardy a week). for example, the other day (colton's birthday to be exact), i had to have annslee fed, diaper changed, clothes changed from all the spit up, and her diaper bag packed; the boy's homework done; all of them pottied and dressed and at the restaurant for colton's birthday dinner at 5:00. in order to do this, i had to start at 3. so, that means that in order to get the boy's picked up at 3, i had to start the process for getting ready for that around 1. at that time, i was supposed to have the cupcakes made and delivered to the school...which process i had to start that morning. that morning i was supposed to be at a friend's house for our "coffee morning". so the process of getting the boy's to school and annslee fed and dry and happy and aiden dressed and fed and myself somewhat presentable to the outside public had to start somewhere around 5 am. so...what i have figured out is that when i wake up at 7 in the morning to start my day, i am already 2 hours behind!

two dimpled darlins

can we talk about houw cute these two dimpled darlins are? seriously. i love dimples. when i was little, i thought that i would have dimples if my cheeks were fatter. so...i ate ice cream every day to try to fatten them up. it didn't work. so God decided to give me kids that had them. thanks God. i just can't get enough.

LIKE DADDY; LIKE DAUGHTER

A Good Story

we were at my parent's house during the first part of december when i came across a little, lost treasure. and it is called THE GREATEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER. this was a book that i fondly remember from my childhood, that i have found myself thinking about throughout the years, but had no idea that my mom had saved it! it is so worn and tattered...but just as lovely and endearing as i remembered it to be. i scooped it up and asked mom if i could take it and read it to the kids...which she let me do, of course. that started a neat, little thing that i like to call "reading our chapter for the night." i started out gathering the kids and reading 1 chapter each night. however, they ended up liking it so much that we started sneaking in more chapters each night. after we finished that book...we didn't want to stop our family gathering each night. so we picked out a new Junie B Jones book (which are some of the funniest children's stories that i have ever read) called JINGLE BELLS; BATMAN SMELLS; (PS, SO DOES MAY). it had chad and i rolling along with the kids. after we finished that...i decided that we needed to keep this little tradition up as long as possible. now, we are in the middle of THE BOXCAR CHILDREN. it is not as funny as the first two books, but they are all listening at least. and...i think the story lends itself to facilitating imaginative play for them. there are 4 kids...2 brothers and 2 sisters that are homeless and having to be very resourceful to get shelter and food each day. i love that the kids are involved in a story where kids their own age are coveting things from the dump that they can make a spoon or fork out of and vegetables from someones garden that are considered too small or bruised to be used. we try to explain to them how grateful they should be to have food on their plates and a roof over their heads...much less all the video games, tvs, and all the other extravagant things they have. and in this story...that actually comes to life for them. i decided to just read the story...and not try to make a lesson out of it just yet, but i can tell that colton, especially, is thinking about it. which i love. i'm already excited about what book we will pick up next. and to think...the greatest family time of our day was started with a great, little christmas pageant. love the books. love the kids. love the time together to get lost in the pages of a good story.

Great Guys

last night, i went up to say goodnight to the kids after chad had tucked them in. before i opened chase's door, i heard him talking to someone. i figured colton had snuck in there and that he was talking to him. but when i quietly opened the door to spy on them and their brotherly cahoots, i saw that he was laying in bed, facing the wall and talking to himself. when he heard me, he stopped and said, "hi mommy." i climbed in bed with him and asked him who he was talking to. he said, "i was praying." amazing feeling right there!! but then, i asked him to keep praying while i layed with him. he said ok.

and with his little eyes shut tight he sweetly said, "Jesus and God...I love you so much. you are such great guys. Thank you Jesus for dying on the cross for us and our sins. I love you so much."

puddin

look who's

happy...

and really, really cute...

and liking this...


and these...

and especially this.

e-christmas

this post is coming to you from my brand new, red, cutie cute cute netbook laptop. chad really surprised me this year and brought out the big guns! i had whimsically wished for a laptop...not thinking that it would really happen. let me be honest...between aiden, chase, jumpstart world and a baby, i checked my e-mail once a week...if i was lucky. and then, the computer ran so slow that i would have time to sift through 1/4 of them before i had to get up and call it quits. if someone needed me...they were just going to have to call. and facebook or blogging...forget about it. well...not anymore! now...this little pretty can sit right next to the rocker in the living room or even go to the bathroom with me. (okay...i probably won't do that very often, although it is about the only quiet time i have all day.)

this was definitely an e-christmas. we had huge, flat screen plasma tv's, cameras, laptops, bluerays, and ds'a flying around everywhere. just the sight of it was enough to humble one. it really is strange to watch my 4 year old walk around with her very own pinky pink ds with her princess and the frog game talking about needing the charger to charge the battery. shouldn't she be playing with a susie talks alot or something? certainly not walking around with charger cords and electronics. however, she out works me on a computer, so what should i expect? i was thinking this year about how when i was little, the BIG presents were the good ones...the ones we looked longingly at and shook everyday until we could finally rip into them on christmas morning. now...it is rare to have a BIG one under the tree. the little ones are gawked at now. cell phones, a ds, or jewelry. i was thinking this thought on christmas eve as i was surveying the magic of the living room before it looked like a red and green wrapped bomb went off. then...what do you know...on christmas morning...my parents prooved me wrong when they brought in the 46 inch flat screen for our living room. my eyes got just as big as the tv and i thought, "nope........the biggest ones are still the best!"

on a side note: yesterday we had the rule that they could play whatever they wanted for as long as they wanted. (as in, no time limits on their new electronics.) as i sit here playing on my new computer i wonder...can that rule apply to me as well?

10 years

i can not believe that we have been married 10 years. this post comes to you a bit late...but not a bit forgotten. november 27th was the day. in the early days, we talked about going to hawaii for our 10 year anniversary. we didn't do that. somehow i think that puddin wouldn't have appreciated having her food source removed from her to be gallivanting on a beach somewhere. i don't think she really cared that it was our 10 year anniversary. we, instead went to see the blind side at a shady, but well priced movie theater and made the annual trip to target to get our ornament that signifies the year for us. we got a frame to hang on the tree and took a picture of ourselves holding up the number 10. however the frame is hanging...smack dab on the front of the tree without a picture in it because i have not had time to get it developed. but, that's beside the point. i am very glad that on year one...when i was 8 months pregnant with colton, we started the anniversary ornament tradition. they are kept in a separate box and 2 years ago i wrote down on a piece of paper which ornament went with which year and why we chose that particular one so that we would remember. last year's ornament was "hope" because we were really hoping to have a baby girl before the next christmas. this was a pretty tall order because i was not pregnant and we had been trying for like a year. well, you can imagine the tears when i pulled that ornament out this year and remembered why we got it as i looked at sweet annslee james being rocked in the rocking chair by granna. boy...was that a thank you so much Lord moment. about a week later, we were sitting at the dinner table and telling the kids the story of how daddy and mommy met in clemson at a superbowl party that the church put on every year. chase was particularly interested in this story and sat up and asked, "um mommy...when you met daddy...did you go up to him and say, "do you want to have kids together?" i laughed and thought, "that'd be a way to scare a guy off!!"

for family movie night, last friday night we watched our wedding video with the kids. they had never seen it. while watching the ceremony:

colton: i was just in you tummy then!
me: ummmm...no.

aiden: oh...i know where we were during your wedding!! we were at granna's!

2 in 1

because of my lack of time these days, i am going to do a 2 blogs in 1 tonight. first off...would be a post titled "oh holy night...part 2". last week, chad had to work late every night. he had papers due for school and stayed at the office working on them every night. i am still adjusting to juggling things myself. if everything goes as planned, it's no problem. tiring...but no problem. this particular night...things did not go as planned. i needed to give annslee a bath, so i made the kids dinner, and while they were eating got her bath ready in her tub by the kitchen sink. i took her clothes and diaper off and while i was getting her into the bathtub, she decided to pee all down the front of my shirt. i called for colt to go get me a clean shirt as i stepped in the puddle on the floor. i used my peed on shirt to mop up the floor and threw on the clean one. after her bath, i was in the rocking chair feeding her as the kids finished up dinner. i asked colt to rinse the dishes and load the dishwasher for me. he was doing that while aiden was crying because i was trying to make her eat her dinner from the chair. that's when chase carried his full glass of orange juice from the table and tripped...spilling it all over the kitchen floor, the walls and into the living room carpet. he started crying...making that 2 out of 4 that were crying. i knew if i stopped feeding annslee that she would start screaming herself...so i chose to just sit there...totally out of control as the oj soaked into the carpet pad...never to be properly cleaned. that made me want to cry. then i did what was only logical. i got mad at chad. :)

the second post would be titled "the mrs." yesterday, i went to both boy's christmas parties at school. only they are not called christmas parties anymore because that might offend somebody. they are now "winter parties". only i think that is stupid and call them christmas parties anyways. i mean, who are we fooling? they are at christmas time and they are doing christmas activities. santa was even there. seriously? winter party???? at chase's, a little boy came up to me and asked if he could come over to our house to play. i said "sure...we will have to do that sometime." then he ran off and told chase that he was coming to our house to play which got chase all excited too. then the little boy came over to me again and said, "when can i come over mrs.........ummmmm......mrs. chase?

Oh Holy Night

so, puddin has decided that she is not going to sleep at nights. she made this call about when chad's mom and grandmother came in from iowa for a nice, holiday visit the weekend before thanksgiving. it would start at the 9 or 10:00 feeding and last till 4 am and sometimes until 8am. at first she would scream and holler, but now she just is not asleep unless you keep putting the pappy back in her mouth every time it decides to pop out. i'm beginning to think that the pappy is conspiring against me. these are the thoughts that seem realistic in the middle of a sleepless night. 2 nights ago, i tried the bouncy seat, the swing, the ever popular hold her all night so at least one of us is sleeping, the walk around and bounce, the snuggle in bed tactic, and finally the baby einstein video so that i could get 30 minutes.......all to no avail. our bedroom looked like the circus. at 4:30, i woke up chad. when i woke up to get the boys ready for school and aiden breakfast, she was sweetly sleeping. when she started this, i thought...this is my fourth baby. i've trained all my babies to be great sleepers. i've been responsible for getting them all on great schedules from the beginning. i've prided myself in NEVER...EVER waking chad up to help me in the middle of the night. i've been in charge and in total control of their sleep patterns. i can do it again. now i'm asking myself, how can such a small person have such control???? and, how can i become used to being up all night where i will greet the other puddins as they skip down the stairs in the morning sweetly requesting breakfast just as i've gotten her to sleep? (well...it is probably more accurate to say that she, herself has decided to go to sleep.) anyhow, chad and i are trying to split the night because...let's face it...she is going to do what she wants and we are totally at the mercy of the conspiring pappy.

now, i've used every free minute of the tired time that i have to help other family members get their christmas shopping done. you know the calls. the "do you have any ideas for the kids?" calls. i've had 6 of them right off the top of my head...plus actually going to the stores 3 different times to help pick things out for them to get them. it is great that everyone wants to get them something that they all want, but now it's 18 days till christmas, all the stuff on their lists have been taken, and i have yet to come up with anything to get them from chad and i. plus, when the "i don't know" answer doesn't fly, i come up with something off the top of my head and under pressure and now i can't remember what i've told people. when did christmas presents for kids become so hard. a doll for suzy, a toy car for tommy...etc. shouldn't it be a little easier? this is about when i decided that they have way too much as it is and that next year we are scaling waaaayyy back. i remember coming to the same conclusion this time last year. i may sound a little bah humbugish...and for that i am sorry. i never said you would get anything but direct honesty here. and next year, i'm doing my shopping BEFORE i help everyone else do theirs!

a few little dittys

there is little time for the ole' blog these days. holiday season at the elementary school is quite the affair. the sweet 4 year old sissy is having...shall we say..."adjustment issues." and the cutie pie little sissy is what my mom calls "colicky"...which sounds old school to me, however i think she is right. apparently i was colicky when i was a baby...which i would like to apologize to my probably still tired and frazzled parents at this point. and let's be honest...if i do get a little break, the last thing on my mind is blogging. she is actually laying under her little hanging animal toys right now and is not crying, so i thought i would give a little catch up.

colton: he came home from school the other day and said he knew the "F" word. i closed my eyes, held my breath and asked him what the "F" word was...hoping he would say "fart." no such luck. he does, in fact know the "F" word, due to one of the boys in his class saying it and another girl spelling it. it looks like 3rd grade is the end of innocence and we will need to be having some candid conversations that i am not entirely ready for shortly before he starts hearing it on the playground.

chase: had a teacher conference where his praises were sung, thankfully. i did have to explain to his teacher that his two take home reader book reports were done, and that we didn't send them back in his folder, not because he wasn't ready for the next ones...but that i wasn't. i still hate homework.

aiden: just to prove that i'm not lying about the "adjustment issues"...the other day, while i was feeding annslee, she came to me and told me that she was spitting up. needing a little attention maybe??

annslee: eating, pooping, fussing, sometimes sleeping if we are all jumping through the right hoops that day, growing (9 pounds now), looking super cute, and slowly learning that not being held can be ok sometimes.

chad and i: tired...but very blessed.

GNO

getting ready to leave for our GNO

(i'm not super stoked about this picture of me. i think i look really tired. probably because i am. but let's face it...the night was all about aiden.)

cutie pie

aiden doing some coloring before we started our games

the "in house" brewed root beer and famous pizza

(unfortunately i didn't get a picture of the pizookie...which is a chocolate chip cookie baked in a deep dish, personal pizza pan served hot with vanilla ice cream piled on top. YUMMY.)

last night aiden and i had our GNO. i was really looking forward to spending some un-interrupted time with my big girl. i vowed to talk about anything and everything that she wanted to talk about. and if you know our precocious aiden, you know that i was mainly listening. which was fine. everyone needs to be listened to once in a while. she chose to go to BJ's...a favorite among the locals. at least our locals. (i love that i sound like we live in a beach town in hawaii with that whole "locals" line.) anyhow, we chatted and colored and played games and shared a pizza and pizookie and chatted some more. we basically did whatever she wanted and it was so much fun. i really want to do this with each of the boys as well. it's tricky to make happen...but oh so important! i loved our GNO ("girl's night out" for all you more "advanced" folks who didn't know what that meant).

a note-worthy conversation of the evening included when i was signing the check at the restaurant and aiden said she needed to go poopie. i asked her if she could wait until we got home and she said that she could. when she was getting out of the car in our driveway, she exclaimed, "oh mom...i didn't go poopie in my panties!" i said, "no you didn't!" then she turned around and tried to look at her bottom and said to herself, "good job butt!!!!"

some of my favorites.

the 4 darlins

the biggest brother and the littlest sister

chase and annslee (the 2 peas in a pod. he loves that she looks most like him.)

aiden and annslee: "sissys"

the latest of the sugar plum

i love these. i actually got ready. chad was taking me out for my birthday. and look how sweet annslee james is.

what i normally look like...no make up and hair doing who knows what :/

(colton was the photographer here. this one is for you, ashley. :))

poor aiden has been strugglin. she is no longer the baby or the only girl. she is having to share "her boy's" affections and stays right at my feet all day. she loves her sister, but is unsure of where she fits now. temporary, i know...but a big transition for the big sister. a couple of days ago, while she was supposed to be playing with the boys and some friends, i found her outside...meditating...literally.

*i need to get some good pictures of chad. he is one of my favorites too. although not a big fan of the camera. now that he's finally well...we will have to corner him.

what birthday?

i told my mom that i would just skip my birthday this year. however, i still want the presents. it was yesterday and i think it un-necessary to discuss my age. yuck. we sort of celebrated by chad and i taking chase and aiden to target. my mom is out of town and my dad offered to bring an ice cream cake down and watch annslee for us to go get the rug from target that my parents got me. i also wanted to pick up a few clothing items that would work now and hopefully later too. we decided that leaving all 4 kids with my dad was not very nice, so we divided and conquered. i thought the easiest combination for him would be colton and annslee. so, chase and aiden "got" to go with us. i don't know what made me think that a good birthday activity would be to try on jeans, but let me just say...it is not. bad decision. i did end up with 2 button down sweater vests and 2 white t-shirts to go with them. and...when the clothing for the body is just not working out...move on to the shoe/hat/purse department to make yourself feel better. i got 2 pairs of shoes for my skinny again feet and a hat for the winter. thankfully, chad agreed to the shoes/hat purchase due to fear of another "post jeans try on" performance. the rug for the living room also worked out swimmingly. i think i should stay away from any clothing from the waist down that does not involve stretchy...very stretchy material. and, any full length mirrors for a while. i'll just stick to admiring my feet in their new shoes for now.

tonight, chad took the boys to the star wars concert in houston. it consists of a symphony playing the music from star wars to large screens showing scenes from all of the movies. and also a display of a lot of the costumes that were worn in the filming of the movies. chase was most excited about seeing chewbacca. i'm glad they got to go...and i'm more glad chad remembered to take the gel in his pocket. i'm at home with the girls, where we will be enjoying some quiet girl time. although aiden did just ask, "when are my boys gonna get home. i want em really bad." i guess watching annslee eat and poop and sleep is not as fun for her as we made it sound when she watched them leave for their boy fun tonight. poor big sister who is experiencing not being the baby and only girl anymore. i think she is feeling a little left out.