oh tannenbaum...

someone please tell me how choosing and decorating a christmas tree as a family can be more stressful than airports with 3 small children, their carseats, strollers, backpacks, blankies, and attitudes. (i just tried to come up with one of the most stressful scenarios i could recall). anyhow, we decided that monday night would be the night of the big venture that led us to our perfect family tree. it was cold outside, so i told the boys to go get their sweatsuits on. i told aiden that we needed to go get her sweatsuit too. she was very excited about getting to wear it, which i thought was pretty cute. she followed me upstairs and i went to her drawer that housed her sweatsuit. i was not paying attention to the drawer she went to...but she had opened up her top drawer of the changing table, pulled out her swimsuit, and yelled excitedly, "HERE IT IS!!!!" she, evidently, was confused. so...i quickly explained the difference between a swimsuit and a sweatsuit and we were on our way. we had some differing opinions about what our prefect tree should look like. i wanted lightly flocked. colton wanted heavy flocked. chase wanted green. aiden wanted big. chad wanted cheap. i exaggerate...(a little). so...we head to the houston garden center that was right by our house. they wanted $89.99 for a green 7-8 foot tree...and you can forget about the flocked ones. they were way out of our league. we decided that the said price was asinine and that we would keep looking. we then went to home depot. i finally started thinking clearly and left chad and the kids in the car while i ran in to see what they had. i found a 7-8 foot tree that was the perfect size. was not too fat but not too skinny either. it was $49.99, which was sounding better. aaaaaand it was some kind of "fir" where there are spaces between the branches and looks like a real tree off the ski slopes in breckenridge and not a "bushy" tree that i don't really like. so, i ran back to the car and told chad about it. he suggested that we could look at houston palm, where we got our perfect family christmas tree last year...that ended up being infested with spiderwebs, complete with eggs and weird, creepy bugs all up and down the trunk. i did not notice this until we were taking it down. it's a good thing, because otherwise the neighbors would have seen a fully decorated tree fly through the back window of our house. why we decided to go back there, i'm still unsure of. we did though...wanting to make sure we had, indeed, found our tree at the best price. we got out...looked at the selection and decided to head back to home depot. by this point, chase would have taken some of the left over branches that had fallen in the parking lot and built his own. he had to have a "talking to" on the way back to home depot, and then was fine. so...we got the tree. however, part of the reason it was cheaper (in my opinion) was that chad and i had to carry it out and tie it to the roof of the suburban ourselves. this only added to the thrill. we finally got home and i went and got the kids bathed and in bed and told chad that i was going to bed too. i had been fighting a nasty chest cold and couldn't last any longer. chad said that he would bring in the tree before he came to bed. when the kids woke up the next morning and saw the blank spot in the living room that i had cleared for our tree...you can only imagine what they must have thought. "our perfect family christmas tree has been stolen!!!!" it's actually kind of fun driving around town all day with a tree strapped to the top of your car. that really didn't happen. we used the van. skip to the decorating. if they had their way, every ornament would be in a 1 1/2 foot by 1 1/2 foot space right in front at their eye level. they each had a pile of "their" ornaments that they could put on the tree themselves. colton thought every one of them was his...even the ones that had the name "chase" or "aiden" engraved on the front. chase's frog ornament from last year was not a red eyed tree frog...producing tears. a fight broke out between colton and chase as to whose ornament was superman and whose was batman. aiden kept ringing the jingle bells really loud making everyone jump at random. and once colton got his superman right in the perfect spot where he wanted it, chase "flew" it to another spot on the tree. chad had a headache and was asleep in the chair and i just tried to stay one step behind their 3 by moving the breakable ones that they put on up high so that they would not get broken. well...it's done. and it looks great. now i just have to keep them out from under it or behind it or from playing in the water. and superman still "flies" to different spots everyday. chase actually brought it to me broken today and i had to send him to the ornament hospital for surgery. there are about 4 ornaments in triage right now. i expect to be buying a few more tubes of superglue before christmas. we'll see. i guess the important thing is...we did it together and it really is our perfect family christmas tree. it makes us all smile. oh christmas tree, oh christmas tree...how lovely are your branches.

where in tarnation do they get this stuff?

every day that passes, i hear more and more from my kids that make me wonder in amazement how on earth they come up with some of the things they think and say. for example, anytime my sweet, 2 year old daughter sees a dog, she says...in a very worried tone..."that doggys gonna eat my knees!!!!" she says this while bending down and covering her knees with her hands. i really have no idea why she would think that a dog would eat her knees. no idea, whatsoever.

then...last night, i was making dinner. i had chopped up some zuccini, squash, and bell peppers and was getting ready to roast them in the oven. i drizzled some olive oil on them and shook them on the pan to make sure they were all covered. colton was standing there silently watching me. he then proceeds to say, "mom...that's not how rachel ray does it." are you kidding me? how does he even know who rachel ray is? i don't even watch her cooking show. i mean, are the kids in 1st grade talking about rachel ray on the playground? does the 1st grade have a cooking unit that i don't know about? why am i always in the dark??

furthermore...chase is, by far, our friendliest child. he goes up to EVERYONE he sees and says, "hi. i'm chase. i like frogs. that's colton. he's my brother. and that's aiden. she's my sister. it's nice to meet you. see you later. have a nice day." sometimes he will add a "rock on" or a "peace out" and usually gives a thumbs up somewhere throughout the conversation...and sometimes a hang ten. it takes a while to get through target. who am i to stop him from loving people?

in other news, chad and i leave on saturday for new york. this is my first time to new york and i hold out hope that i will, indeed get discovered while i'm there. chad has to go for church stuff and he is bringing me along for our anniversary. chase thinks we are going to meet kermit the frog and miss piggy while we are there because the his favorite muppet movie says they are in manhatten. on broadway to be exact. i hate to bust his bubble, so i havn't. :) my parents are keeping the kids for us and we will get home on tuesday. yeah!!

well, that's about it for now. tune in...you just never know...you may see my name in lights!!!! either that, or on the news after being kicked out of the city after rushing the stage at some off, off broadway show...knocking the lead out of the way and taking over the song. you only live once!!

$#@&

here's a little ditty. last night, while i was cooking dinner, chad and colton were bonding over a little game of play station. chad was using the time to talk to colton about what's going on in the 1st grade. colton is a typical "guy" and usually gives 1 word answers when asked anything about how his day was at school. well, last night, he offered up a little more information than the usual "fine" or "good" or "o.k." he began to tell chad that sometimes the kids at school talk bad. when chad probed a little more, he revealed that sometimes they say the "S-H" word. chad...who was sooo on it, being all understanding and open with colton...said, "really? so some of the kids say shit?" very confused, colton looked at chad and said, "no......shut up." nice.

i'll keep a tally of how many angry phone calls i get this week from little first grade boy's parents informing me that my son taught their son a new word. i think i'll have our home phone forwarded to chad's cell for a while.

siblings, halloween, and one fall festival

so, i was carrying aiden downstairs this morning after i had gone to get her out of bed and we were being all snuggly while we were coming down the stairs. i was asking her is she slept well and if she had any good dreams when she caught a glimpse of chase sitting at the table eating his breakfast. she said real excited like, "there's chase." she was pointing at him like she had been waiting for that moment all night. the moment when she would get to come downstairs and see her big brother and talk to him and play with him and know that all is right with the world...because she was reunited with her chase. i said, "yep...there's chase." then, while still looking at him from my arms on the stairs she said, "i like that boy." there is something about sibling relatioinships that i just love. i had that with my little brother as well. he would follow me around all day long and wait for me at the door when i went to kindergarten...waiting for the moment we would be reunited...just like aiden. we have all these memories and stories from our childhood...and we are still making them...which i love. and i love that my kids are making those memories for themselves right now. when i'm in target or at the mall with all three little ones in tow, people always look at me like i had temporarily lost my mind when deciding to have kids so close together and i've had more than one, "you have your hands full." yeah...i do have my hands full. absolutely. but isn't there a song that says something about God having the whole world in his hands? i just feel lucky to get a little taste of the joy that he must feel.

in other news...i'm trying to get my pictures from halloween off my camera and onto the computer and i've had some trouble. surprise. surprise. as soon as i figure out the problem, i will post some pics from our fun night. we went to a concert up at the church that was outside and they had trick or treating for the kids. everyone was in constumes...including the adults...which i was extremely excited about. you just can't get adults to dress up anymore...to my dismay. so, chad was clark kent and i was a cowgirl. (let's face it...any reason to wear my cowgirl boots and hat is a good one.) colton was batman; chase was robin; and aiden was "kitty cat girl". something about calling my 2 year old daughter "catwoman" just didn't sit well with me. my parents showed up at our house as kermit the frog and miss piggy before we went to the concert. my mom had made the costumes to surprise the kids and it was hysterical. they parked several houses away and walked up the middle of the street. we were all out in the front yard and chase and aiden were flabergasted that kermie and piggy were actually coming to our house to trick or treat. colton, on the other hand was trying to reconcile the fact that he knew kermie and piggy were fictional...yet they did, in fact, appear to be walking down our street...and they were much taller than expected. who were these characters? a fun time was had by all.

this morning, i am taking chase and aiden to a birthday party at chuck e. cheese. a place that sends my anxiety and germ phobia into a near panic attack and uses up every ounce of antibacteria hand gel that i may have in my bag. today, i have to go up to the school to help out colton's teacher. tonight, our small group is helping out lighthouse ministries by sorting clothes and stuff in the back storage room. and tomorrow is the fall festival up at the school. i have had to organize our class booth and get volunteers to run the game in hour long shifts. i have 1 hour covered at this point. the parents don't seem to be too thrilled with volunteering at the football fling booth. it's not my idea people. i didn't come up with the idea to have a class booth...or a fall festival for that matter. oh well. what are ya gonna do? i guess i will be spending my saturday at a fall festival in a football fling booth. at least it's not that "throw a baseball and dunk you in the water" booth. i think i would have to put my foot down on that one. then on sunday morning, the thing that i am most excited about happens. the thing i have been waiting for all season. the thing that is bringing me such comfort and joy at this moment. we pick up 1 extra hour of sleep!! whoooo hoooo!! fall back y'all!!

in celebration of...

...ME!!!!!! here is a list of what all i got for my birthday. and a big thank you to the people who are closest to me who took time out of their lives to celebrate with me and make me feel loved and cherished.

the new, blue ipod nano

distressed lucky jeans

james avery ring (sort of) :)

billabong t-shirt

2 starbucks gift cards

fossil gift card

chocolate brown hooded sweater

a cold front...which i had secretly wished for and God delivered :)

the infamous and traditional homemade t-shirt from my brother...which gets funnier every year

dave matthews concert tickets (already used and oh so apprictiated)

kelly clarkson concert tickets (to be used in november and oh so appreciated)

a space shuttle cake (b/c discovery launched oct. 23rd...just 1 day before my big day and i was quite excited about that...and the fact that 2 astronauts from our church went up and we sent the ukrainian flag up with them...which is floating around in space right this very minute!!!!)

new quilt and sheets for mine and chad's bed

a good book

a ride with good friends on the ferris wheel and pharoh's furry on the water, at the boardwalk on a cold, star-filled birthday night

the realization that even though my sweet husband; my love; was in ukraine...things were being done to further God's kindom in ukraine because of him and his ability to listen to and follow God and that life is not all about me on october 24th and that i have the greatest friends and family that will step in to take care of me.

many hugs and sloppy kisses and smiles and happy "birfday" wishes from 3 very sweet children

dinner at bj's with a free birthday pizzookie

and last, but certainly not least...many cards and well wishes from family and friends

WOW!!!! do i feel lucky and loved.

i'm pretty sure i have my hands full with this one.

the other day, i was in the living room picking up the videos and dvd's that the kids like to take out of their appropriate cases and throw all over the floor, when i heard little footsteps coming down the stairs. the kids had been playing upstairs in the playroom for a while. i had been hearing different games going on from downstairs, such as zoo, toy story, superheros, kitchen, and the like. it doesn't take long for me to realize that it is aiden on her way down the stairs. i assumed she was tired of playing with "her boys" and needed some girl time. although that usually doesn't happen. she is dressed in a little sun top, with a matching bow in her hair and pink nail polish on her toes and a purse on her arm. she comes prancing into the living room, swinging her purse, looking just like i had always pictured a daughter of mine looking like. so sweet; so cute, with her little page-boy hair cut...the picture of feminine. there were some of her little dolls scattered on the floor, so i asked her if she wanted to put them in her purse to keep them safe. she did. so she took her purse, that was already full off her arm. she thought for a second, opened it, pulled out a g.i. joe accessory and, very nonchalantly said, "here mommy...hold my gun."

the rescue...

aiden and her new friend

aiden playing the role of mommy

the kittens today ( a few weeks old)

brother and sister: hansel and gretel

just plain sweetness

Here's how the story goes...

a couple of us at church have become involved with helping this family who has a farm ministry. They live in a small, run down trailer with 7 kids. next to their trailer, is their farm. the dad has this farm to help at risk kids. he has pigs, horses, and sheep and the children get to be a part of FFA at school. they come there and take care of their animal. i guess it helps keep them out of trouble. anyway, i got a call from the girl from church who has been helping this man at the farm a couple of weeks ago. she was somewhat stressed out because when she got to the farm, there was a dog that was in bad shape that they didn't want, and a stray cat that was pregnant. the cat was not even being fed. so, we went to assess the situation, to see what we could do to help these animals, and to feed them. the cat was a small tabby cat that was wild and was scared of us. we put a plate of food out and she gobbled the whole thing up...but if we would even look at her, she would run off. ginger said that she could set a trap and take her to the vet to have her spayed, but then, the babies would die. but if she had them out at the farm, they would most likely get eaten by some animal anyways...so we didn't really know what to do with her. we decided to trap her; take her to the vet; have her checked out and bathed; and then keri would keep her until we could find a home for her. the vet said that she was, indeed pregnant and that they heard 3 heart beats. he thought she would have them about a week later. after her trip to the vet, ginger brought her to keri's apartment and got her a litter box, food, and bowls. she warmed up really quick and would just sit next to you and purr while you pet her. so, at about 11:30 that night, i get a call from keri that she was having the kittens. the kids were in bed, so i got to go see them being born. we thought she was done after 3, but a little while later...she had number 4. we were so excited. i think 4 is a good number. the kids were so excited when i told them the next morning that the kittens were born and i took aiden to see them that morning after i dropped the boys off at school. so, now...keri (the foster parent) is out of town and the cats are staying with us. (the foster, foster family) the kids are sooooo excited. we named her tabitha. just think...she was so hopeless that day. there she was...homeless, pregnant and going to have her babies that very night, starving...not knowing what she was going to do. basically...hopeless. and just when she thought that her life was at rock bottom...she was rescued. if God cares that much about a little, stray tabby cat...he must really care about me.

September 30, 2002 & 2007

A look back...

Colton holding Chase for the very first time

September 30, 2007: chase turns 5

we are singing happy birthday to chase

at the end of "happy birthday"...chase says, "thank you. thank you very much!!!!!"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR SWEET BOY!

don't hate me...

i'm convinced it's not a phase. it's been going on for too long now. this is not good.

a while back, aiden started saying something...well......sketchy, to say the least. she will look at me, with a very worried look in her eyes, and put her hands behind her...as if to cover her sweet little hiney, and say, "don't hit me."

now, this is coming from a child who has probably been spanked twice in her whole sweet little life. (and not recently, either) i have no idea where she got this. but, she says it ALL the time. anytime i tell her to do anything; whether it be "come here", or "go get your shoes on", or "let's get in the car", ...she replies with, "o.k. mamma. don't hit me." we can be at home, in public, at my parent's house. anywhere and everywhere. it's embarrassing, really. and a bit sad. what makes matters worse, is that sometimes, with her sweet little two year old voice, it sounds like, "don't hate me." i haven't had anyone call CPS on me yet...but i am awaiting a knock on the door from the local police department. stay by your phones. if you get a call from me in the pokey...you'll know why!!

2 "pees" in a "potty"

i like to call this one..."good grief aiden! if chase told you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it?"

i like to call this one..."chase...get your sister's head out of the potty!"

i know i wrote in an earlier post that chase and aiden are extremely close and spend everyday playing with each other...all day long...which is really sweet and cute and yada, yada, yada...but seriously?? she will do anything he tells her to. ANYTHING! this is my proof. we took aiden on her "big girl trip" the other day. we got all dressed up, and went to get a little potty and some big girl underwear. she also got to pick out a booster seat because she thinks she is too big for the highchair now. she has to sit in a booster seat like chase. only chase freaks when she gets near it because he thinks she's going to "steal" it. for crying out loud...as if she's going to stick it under her shirt and leave town. anyways...so...the potty training started with a lot of excitement and hoopla, such as aiden "twirling" in the living room in her tinkerbell underwear. however...i realized about 20 minutes later that we were just not ready. and by "we", i mean me. so...this is what we have decided to do with the potty. and by "we", i mean they.

the recovery and journaling

so, as most of you know...chad had jaw surgery tuesday morning. he was in the hospital overnight and now has been home for 5 days. they did not wire his jaw shut, thank the sweet Lord, because i would have "issues" with that. i know you are probably thinking, "you??? how selfish can you be?" but, the thing that kept going through my head was...what if he gets sick? and that thought was enough to completely give me the creeps. i would have had to carry around wire cutters and always be ready to unwire his mouth in case of some sort of emergency. luckily, his doctor trusted him to not chew, so no wire cutters here. he has to drink out of a straw and can not have any solid food. needless to say, i have made more soup in the last week than i have in my entire life. my kids hate soup. and now, chad and i hate soup too. so, we have also been making lots of smoothies. aiden and chase love smoothies and drink all of the left-overs and then go beg chad for his. chase makes up for stealing his smoothies by always wanting to take him his medicine. i only let him take the child-proof bottle to chad to get the pill out...mainly because i'm not too sure i want to see what chase would be like on hydrocodone. the pain medication they gave him when he broke his arm made him...let's just say..."jumpy". i think chad's stay in the hospital stressed aiden out a little. a few days ago, she got a tiny scrape on her knee. she sat down and said, "i need a bandaid. i need to go to the hospital." i told her that i thought she maaaaay be over-reacting just a tad. i have no idea where she gets that. :)

here's a little update on colton lloy; first grade:

his new love is writing. they get to journal quite a bit and do some free writing in most of their subject. he LOVES it. the other day when i picked him up from school, he said, "mom...i need a journal at home for me to write in. that way i could write about what i am doing. i want one with an elephant on it. like my old one with the elephant on it. you know the art spiral with the elephant on it?" (i think he might want one with an elephant on it) i said, "i don't even remember where i got that art spiral." to which he replied, "maybe yoooooou should get a journal." i opened my mouth to defend my failing memory...but how do you argue with that?

i'm ashamed...

...of my lack of discipline and patience. it's sad, really. what is wrong with me? seriously. i completely broke down today. i had just dropped chase off for his first day of preschool and i had a day of fun and errands planned for us girls. aiden and i started it off by going to starbucks and enjoyed frappachinos...her enjoying the strawberries and cream, while i decided to partake of the pumpkin spice one. she sat in a comfy chair...sipping her frap...while coloring on her magnadoodle and looking at her book. i took in a people magazine and my nicholas sparks, dear john, book that i am reading while in the car ride line, waiting to pick up colton. then...we bopped on over to the mall to pick up my brother's birthday present, dropped off my phone to be fixed, and then went to target while we waited for the phone. i had made it all the way through target...getting just what we needed; daipers and some fruit, and stuff for the boy's lunchboxes when the unexpected happened. you see, in target, you have to pass the holiday candy section to get to the checkout. as i did...i noticed that the halloween candy was already out. my basket made this left turn...i swear...on it's own, and i found myself right in front of the pumpkin candy corns. damn it!!!!! it is only september 5th. and i really try hard to not buy these until october 1st. what to do...what to do? without any prompting from my brain...my right hand reaches up to the shelf and puts 2 bags in the cart. we are nowhere near october 1st. i just could not wait. so...all of my other groceries are still sitting on the floor as we speak, but those pumpkins...already in the candy jar...displayed proudly...letting everyone in on my lack of any self control at all. here's to authenticity. and pumpkin candy corns.

just an update really

as most of you know...colton has had his first full week of 1st grade and is working on week 2. he is loving it. he says that 1st grade is the coolest. when i ask him what his favorite part of the day is, he says recess...and then proceeds to tell me about how the girls chase him on the playground, but that it works out fine because he is faster than all of them. is anyone else thinking that this is sure starting early????? seriously, they're 6. it has been really fun to watch the dynamic between the kids in the last week. the two little ones really miss colton during the day, and he misses them too. it has given chase and aiden the opportunity to become really close, so that's been fun. they literally follow each other around the house playing all sorts of things. aiden will basically do ANYTHING chase tells her to...which he loves. he's got halloween all set up. i over-heard them planning it in the playroom the other day. chase says that colton is gonna be batman...he is gonna be robin...and when he asks who is gonna be batgirl (just to make sure aiden remembers the plan) aiden raises her hand straight up in the air; her eyes get really big and excited-like; and she jumps up and down yelling, "ME!!! I'M BATGIRL!!!" i keep trying to tell them that she could be cat woman, because then i could make her a cute kitty cat costume and the theme would still work. but no. chase has it all planned out and has her convinced that she must be batgirl. we will see. chances are...by halloween...they will be on to something else. like the muppets or something. (the muppet movie is their favorite right now.) although it is not a good sign that aiden has named all of her dolls lois lane. anyhow, today it was so sweet because we had been waiting in the car ride line for about 25 minutes when chase finally said, "mommy...i neeeeed colton." then, when we pull up and see colton standing there waiting for us, chase and aiden start yelling his name and waving and colton gets really excited. he climbs in the car and i am so excited to see him that i start talking to him right away. there's not even a "hi mommy." there is only, "hi aiden and chase...i'm so glad you are awake today." (normally they have fallen asleep in the car waiting in the line) then chase reaches over and grabs colton's arm and says, "oh colton...i so missed you." to that, my heart smiled.

in other news, chase starts preschool tomorrow. he is very excited and i am a little worried about how aiden will do here without him. she will have a whole 5 hours with just her and me on mondays and wednesdays. wow. she has never had that before!! i'll have to teach her how to shop!! :) i have a feeling chase may miss her too.

WHY?

my questions for the day...

why do i hate taking out the trash so much?

why can i get the laundry folded...but not put away?

why do i love to watch cooking shows...but hate to cook?

why do i love to buy cereal...but never eat it?

why does aiden copy everything chase does, even thought she and colton are most alike?

why do people who long to have children, can't have them sometimes...while people who don't want them get pregnant?

if God knows that a woman is going to have a miscarriage...often even before she knows she's pregnant, why does he create the life in the first place?

why didn't i think of using paper plates for lunch sooner?

why...no matter how early i go to bed at night...do i still not want to wake up in the morning?

why do i love hannah montana so much?

why does aiden, all of a sudden, not want to go to bed at night?

why can i not seem to get through the entire bible?

why do i sometimes really care what people think...yet sometimes not give a rip?

why do we have nightmares?

why does my cell phone seem possessed at times?

why did we find over 30 scorpians in our house in south carolina...even though the exterminator said that they don't live in clusters, but alone? and...none of our neighbors had them either.

why do i sometimes feel queesy for no reason?

why do i not want to let colton ride the bus home from school...and instead take aiden and chase with me and wait in the car ride line for an hour every afternoon to pick him up?

why do i have such a hard time with electronics?

why do new kids on the block get made fun of...yet the backstreet boys, and n'sync usually don't?

basically...at this point, i'm not out of whys...but out of time.

If You Feel Lost...

o.k. people. this is one of my new favorite worship songs. i heard it at ecclesia in the woodlands for the first time. robbie seay happen to be leading worship the day i was there and they did this song. it is so beautiful and the words so perfect for so many of us in so many day to day situations. a friend sent it to me and i quickly copied it to my mp3 and have been listening to it ever since. I LOVE IT. very simple...and yet says it all. here are the lyrics...

SHINE YOUR LIGHT ON US (robbie seay band)

oh my God, shine your light on us;
that we might live.
oh my God, shine your light on us;
that we might live.

i've been holding on.
and i've been holding on.
all that is inside me;
screams to come back home.

and if you feel lost;
if you feel lost;
sing along.
and if you feel tired;
if you feel tired;
sing along.
and if you feel lost and tired;
this is your song.

and i've been broken down;
and i've been broken down.
but i aint givin up;
love will come back around.

and if you feel lost;
if you feel lost;
sing along.
and if you feel tired;
if you feel tired;
sing along.
and if you feel lost and tired;
this is your song.
yeah...
if you feel lost and tired;
this is your song.

oh my God
shine your light on us;
that we might live.
and oh my God
shine your light on us;
that we might live.

if you feel lost;
if you feel lost;
sing along.
and if you feel tired;
if you feel tired;
sing along.
oh...if you feel lost and tired;
this is your song.

shine your light;
shine it down;
like a rescue;
come for us;
we long to love.
shine your light;
shine it down;
like a rescue;
come for us now.

WHO'S EXCITED?

o.k. so who's excited about fall television starting up again? i'll tell you who. ME!!!!!!!! i have seriously been going through withdrawal, i think. i miss grey's anatomy; the bachelor (don't start with me...); LOST; what about brian; and don't even get me started about how excited i am about the grey's anatomy spin-off, private practice, that is going to be starting this fall. i am also looking forward to the start of survivor...but i didn't really watch the last season. so we will see if i am able to get into this one. oh...and chad and i do enjoy watching house together. so...i have barely watched any t.v. this summer and it will be a shock to our dvr come september. i'll have to dust her off and put her back in business. too many shows...too little time. we shall see.

on another note...colton starts 1st grade on monday. we get to go meet his teacher this friday. we won't find out who he has or who is in his class until then. he seems to be excited about his return to school and i am not nearly as big a basket case as i was this time last year...him starting kindergarten and all. we don't need to discuss how close i came to having an emotional breakdown at "meet the teacher" last year. nor do we need to re-hash how many tears were shed prior to dropping him off that first day of school. aaannnnddd...we won't even begin to re-visit the number of pictures that were taken. i can probably chronicle that "right of passage" walk from the parking lot to the class room with one of those, flip the pictures real fast and make a movie thing. not this year. i'm low key. layed-back. doing swell. not having a bit of trouble with my first born already being in 1st grade. not picturing his wedding day when he is going to leave me for some girl and never even call or write and spend all his thanksgivings and christmases with her family because he's forgotten all about me. and i'm definitely not thinking about this being chase's last year at home with me because he is going to make that "right of passage" walk into kindergarten this time next year. no siree. i'm great. not a problem what so ever. who's excited? i know i am.

well (sniffle and wipe a tear)...i think i'm going to go talk to chad about how great i'm doing. later.

my little traveler

i was sitting with someone...i can't remember who now...(that should tell you how my mental status is these days)...and we were talking about where we have been in europe. you know...since i am the world traveler now. :) anyhow, they were talking about all the places they had been, (and at this point i really wish i could remember who this was), and i was talking about where i had been now. colton, chase, and aiden were sitting at the kitchen table with us. i realized that colton was listening when he perked up, raised his eyebrows, and as a matter of factly stated, "well...i've been to iowa multiple times!!!!"

Back on U.S. Soil

I could have actually kissed the ground when we landed at Houson's Intercontinental Airport 2 days ago. I've been home for exactly 42 hours and 20 minutes. I've slept about 28 of those hours. Needless to say...I've had a bit of a time re-acclamating to my life. I thought missions in Ukraine would seem foreign. But what is foreign is life here without a team and a purpose everyday after being used to living everyday on a tangible mission. It's like I don't know what to do. Do I clean? Do I do laundry? Do I go grocery shopping? Do I play with the kids? Do I go to their baseball games? Do I go hang out with friends? Do I sleep? Do I stay awake? Do I drink ice water? Do I eat? I know that probably sounds weird...but it is how I have felt since I got home. I never am sure what I am supposed to be doing. Part of my mind and heart were left in Ukraine with the homeless boy and old lady and new friend and students we taught english and bible to everyday. Not that it is not good to be home. It is. I missed my family more than I can put in to words. BUT...I learned some things. One of which is that my family is going to live on mission together. My children will intimately know beyond their own circumstances. They will know their main purpose in life. They will learn to spread the word and love of our creator...or God...our Father. They will not be obsessed with themselves and their own desires...unless they are the desires of Christ. I'm not all together sure how we are going to achieve all of these lofty goals, but at least they are my goals now. Instead of the latest sport all their friends are playing and making sure they have the cutest clothes to start school. I'm speaking to myself here, because the worst thing I could do is forget the people we taught in Ukraine and more importantly...the mission the people in Ukraine taught me.

More to come...with pictures.

is there such a thing as too much baseball?

summer schedule:

tuesday night: colton's baseball game
wednesday night: chase's t-ball practice
thursday night: colton and chase have games...usually at the same time
friday night: colton's practice
every day...all day long: colton practices in the back yard

yes.

from here on out...a tighter ship

i'm aware it's been a while. there's not much i can do about that. it is what it is. i've been tired. worn down. completely apathetic. nonchalant. that's o.k. right? i guess it has to be.

since my last post, chad's grandmother passed away, and we have driven across the country (to iowa) and back, which has proven to have thrown me for more of a loop than usual. it is always hard for me to transition...which has only been exacerbated since having 3 small children. whatever that means...i don't know. but currently i am drowning my sorrows to a particularly dark pearl jam song while attempting to be of some interest to this screen.

we just had to call a family meeting. i think......yes, i think that is a first. colton and chase have been at each others throats; aiden is 2 (self-explanatory); chad and i are both tired, worn down, and generally lacking any drive what so ever. the attentive, energetic, and playful mom that i once was has been replaced by one who desperately needed a break. i always heard of the moms who had breakdowns and ended up shuffling the halls in her bathrobe while muttering softly over and over again, "i forgot to take the dog out. wait a minute...i don't have a dog." all the while her children are throwing pieces of their uneaten grilled cheese at her...seeing who can make one ricochet off her face the farthest. yep. that feels about right. anyhow, at our family meeting we talked about respect, love, kindness, appreciation for what we have, and obedience. all general stuff...yet such life affecters. i sought forgiveness for not being as "present" as they were accustomed to...and explained how i had been long over due for a break...and how from now on, i was going to take one when needed instead of letting it all build up. no grilled cheeses in my face please. chad brought down the hammer and all that jazz. we are developing a summer schedule for everyday in an attempt to curb boardom and lessen squabbling. bedtime is back to 7:30. meals are no longer whenever they start whinning. i've learned that by that point...it's too late. no more toys everywhere. i'm turning this disney cruise that we seem to be on into a tighter ship.

well, i guess i'm done for now. pearl jam has lulled me into a somewhat dreamlike stuper and the natives (whom i still love more than life) could be getting restless. well, at least chad's in there with them...although asleep on the playroom floor. i'm fully expecting him to wake up with a marker mural all over his body. who knows? i've turned up the music to block it all out. could that be part of the problem?